I Want to Be The First Dog Lottery Winner!

Since the mega millions lottery is at a record high level, this dog is planning to buy a ticket. After all, half a billion dollars will buy a lot of dingo bones even after taxes. I should check into that....does a dog have to pay taxes? It does not seem fair since we aren't allowed to be tax deductions for our humans, receive government aid or even collect social security-not that I have ever met a dog who is 65 in human years. Anyway, it would still be a lot of money, and since the "experts" say that if you should win, you should consult with an expert, I have already prepared just in case I do win. The expert is the best financial genius that I could ever find--myself. I have decided to take the money in one lump sum and, after buying a truck load of dingo bones, milkbones, and treats, and putting some money away for future treats, then I will use part of the money to invest in companies which I believe in and support. The companies are: dingo bones, milkbones, McDonalds, Wendy's, Arbys, etc. Most will be food related because both dogs and humans have to eat to survive so I think these companies make the most sensible investments. The rest I will donate to dogs in shelters who need to find homes. Now I must go and dream about all the dingo bones I am going to buy with the jackpot. I will also make news as the first dog to win! Then I will write a book about my experiences and the profits from it will go to the dogs in shelters. I won't need them anyway.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Plans to Buy a Ticket for the Lottery)