I have bad news today. I did not win the mega millions lottery yesterday. Did you know that dogs aren't allowed to buy tickets? However, I had the human buy a ticket for me so I had a ticket and I chose the numbers. Who would have thought I would not win? Does the lottery not realize how cute I would have looked picking up the giant check? Many of the humans would have loved that photo! Then lottery sales would increase because you would hear the humans saying, "if a dog can win, then you know I probably will win too". Actually, I was not surprised that I did not win since the chances of winning the lottery are virtually non-existent. It is just too bad that the "cute factor" does not figure in or us dogs would win every time we buy a ticket. For those of you who are wondering, I am still a happy dog. I had McDonalds burgers for dinner, and I have a nice soft bed to sleep and I enjoy hanging out with my humans. I really think those are the important things. Food, shelter, and love.....if you have those things, then I think you are already a winner!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Did Not Win the Lottery)