Candy Corn: A Delicious Vegetable

My blog today is a public service to the humans to let them know that vegetables are good for you, and some of them are quite delicious. For example, yesterday I had some Easter pastel candy corns. These are delicious little sugar snacks that are both vegetables and candy. I know I could eat these veggies everyday, and never feel like I am eating health food. I know they have to be healthy because I've heard the nutritionists say that vegetables are healthy. This means that a dog (or human) can eat candy corn and be eating a nutritious and tasty item. I think they should be added to the dog food. I think dogs would eat their food better if it was chicken and candy corn flavor. Those little corns can make a dog enjoy their dinner! Remember, buy them and eat them with every meal. You'll be taking a step toward a healthier life!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Candy Corn)

Modern Farming

Is it time for another blog already? These blogs are really eating into a dog's nap time. Today I am going to cover a serious topic since a dog sometimes has to use a blog to educate the humans. Today I am going to discuss farming, which is a good profession to hold because I have yet to meet a dog who doesn't like to eat. However, I have no idea why the farmers are always planting vegetables, of which I (and most other dogs) are not overly fond. Why not plant things we like? For example, dogs enjoy meat such as: chicken, steak, and hamburgers. Since these items cost more, you would think that the humans, even with their limited ability to understand complicated concepts would realize that it is smarter to plant the more expensive items like meat. If they planted meat, then perhaps they could dig a drive thru in the garden so they could just drive up and get the meat they want instead of having to harvest the crops the way they do now. This method of harvesting would make farming much easier. In fact, this is one reason that virtual farming is so much more popular than actual farming....the Internet makes it easier. I hope farmers will eventually learn to do things the easy way as I have suggested. It is a shame they have to work so hard now, and all they get is stupid vegetables!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Farming)

Make Mine a Diamond Shaped Egg

Astronomers have made the announcement that there is a planet that might be one big diamond. Jewelers are presently making plans to build a spaceship to go and get the diamond. I'm just wondering where they plan to put it because it would be one BIG diamond! I personally was not excited over this news. If they discover a planet made solely of bacon, then I will be interested in going there. Bacon happens to be delicious, but except for the dog I read about in the news yesterday who ate some diamonds, most of us dogs don't think diamonds taste that good. It is amazing just how much the humans will pay for shiny things. I even saw on the news that a jewelry store was robbed by a group of clowns (maybe it was that Joker character from the Batman movie). The joke was on the robbers since the jewelry they stole was fake. I bet when they got it home, they were not happy to find that out. If you want to read the details, here is the address:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/25/clowns-steal-fake-jewelry_n_936430.html

I have always refused to eat eggs, but I know a lot of dogs do like them (including Angel Zoom Smokey) so I like to share interesting things I discover while doing research for my blog. Today I found an egg cuber on Amazon.com which allows eggs to be square. I suppose it is to make them easier to eat, but who knows why the humans come up with some of these products? A dog would never waste time inventing a gadget like that since the dog would just eat the egg as is. We don't worry a lot about how the food looks-we are more concerned with taste. Anyway, if you want something that will make eggs square, be sure and go to the this address:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=egg+cuber&x=14&y=12 I think I might order this product and then stick the square egg under a hen. I bet that would be one really freaked out chicken.

Demon Flash Bandit (Diamond Shaped Eggs Would be Cool)

Han Solo Ice Trays

For those of you who are Star Wars fans, I have a product to share with you that is not only fun, but also practical. That item is a Han Solo ice tray. Yes, you can now have your drinks cooled with ice that looks like Han Solo frozen in carbonite. For those of you who are interested in this product, it can be found at this website among others:
http://www.geekalerts.com/?s=Han+Solo+ice+tray To see the product, you need to scroll down the page because there are other products listed on the page as well. This would also be a great gift item for the Star Wars fan on a gift list. There will also be a R2D2 ice tray for those who are fans of the little robot. This brings me to an important point. I know if I were buying a novelty ice tray, I would want it to be shaped like dogs--not like Star Wars characters. Perhaps that nice dog that starred in Pirates of the Carribean would make a cool ice cube tray. I know I would want to buy it if it were manufactured. I certainly would prefer dog shaped ice over stupid robot shaped ice.

News from the ComicCon is that there is going to be some new Star Wars toys released soon. I think that the humans who market the Star Wars toys deserve a lot of credit. They have been out for decades and they are still finding new ones to issue. In fact, I've heard some rumors that the action figures have been released for so long that the next group are going to have a nursing home playset and be dressed in hospital gowns. Judging from how long the toys have been marketed, those characters must be at least 100 years old by now. I've heard that the Millenium Falcon no longer goes over 10 miles per hour and the left blinker is usually left on the entire time. I like Han Solo, but he isn't a spring chicken anymore. Speaking of chickens, that is what I plan to have for dinner. I hope my human realizes this fact and gets busy roasting it for me. Otherwise, since it is in the freezer, I will be eating a chickensickle. I had to eat dog food yesterday, and had it not been a Beneful prepared meal, I would have went on a hunger strike.
What human invented dog food anyway? That human should be executed for crimes against dogs.

I hope all my readers are having a nice weekend, and remember, if you go to the website I suggested and place your order, you can watch Han Solo melt as you drink your next beverage.

Demon Flash Bandit (Practical Star Wars Item)

BK's Meat Monster--Sounds Delicious!

Burger King in Japan is introducing a new burger called the "Meat Monster". This burger has 2 pieces of hamburger meat, a chicken breast, 2 slices of cheese, 3 pieces of bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, and onions. Customers will be able to customize the burger by adding teriyaki sauce, an egg, a fish patty, or all of the them. The basic meat monster has 1,160 calories compared to 690 for a regular whopper. This dog has never asked how many calories any of my food contains, but it seems to be something the humans worry about. My personal observation is that the more calories, the better it tastes so I'm hoping that Burger King in the United States will add this burger to the menu. I would be honored if they called it the Demon Flash Bandit burger, but as long as it is on the menu, I don't care if they call it the Heart Attack Burger. This dog would love to try it. In fact, I know I would love it so it would quickly become a favorite of mine. Humans can be so silly. You would think that if they eat tofu, they will live forever which is never going to happen so you might as well enjoy all the good stuff while you can. This is what dogs do. We don't worry about it--we know what we like and we eat it. I would love for Burger King to make a burger with even more meat on it. I usually don't eat the buns anyway. For those who enjoy Taco Bell (like Angel Zoom Smokey), Taco Bell is experimenting with a taco shell made from Doritos nacho cheese flavor. It sounds like a good idea to me, but I don't eat Taco Bell. When my humans order it, I don't bother them for a taste. Demon Flash Bandit (Wants the Meat Monster Served at U.S. Burger Kings)

My Solution to All Economic Problems

I hope everyone had a nice New Year's Day. My humans had Arbys chicken sandwiches. Yeah, they really know how to live it up. Then I found out how to solve all financial problems and make sure that everyone in the world is prosperous. I overheard my Mommy telling my human brother Jeff that when she was growing up, her Mother always had ham on New Year's Day. Why did they have ham? Because if you eat ham on New Year's Day, you will live high off the hog all year. If you eat chicken, you will be scratching for a living. This made me wonder about my humans because they ate chicken sandwiches, but they were cordon bleu so that means they were chicken with ham. Do they cancel each other out and make it a moderately successful new year or do you count one or the other? You would think that, with this kind of knowledge available to Mommy, that she would not have taken such stupid chances with dinner yesterday. She also said that black eyed peas are supposed to be served for good luck. Of course, the humans didn't eat them either. I am not quite sure how peas who were unlucky enough to be given a black eye can be lucky, but perhaps even if they aren't lucky themselves, they have the power to give good luck to humans. Personally, I think eating Burger King on New Year's Day means that you will be living royally all year. Guess who had Burger King yesterday? Yes, it was me. I do love Burger King. This means that I will be King for the rest of the year. This dog does not take chances with ancient superstitions.



With the world economy not doing well, it would have been nice if I had known these dinner facts in advance. I could have told everyone to eat ham yesterday, and everyone would have had a prosperous new year. I called Bo Obama today to let him know how simple the solution to everybody's economic problems happens to be. I hope next year, we can make sure everyone has ham for dinner except for us dogs--we can eat Burger King.



Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing a Solution to World Economic Problems)

Today Is My Birthday!

I'm a bit later writing today than usual because I have been celebrating all day. Today is my birthday, and I have been having a great time. I got a toy chicken with 2 squeakys, and I love squeakys. I also got some dingo bones filled with chicken. I had Burger King for dinner, and I will get more presents tomorrow. Angel Zoom Smokey is happy too because Mommy gets her the same stuff so she won't be jealous. I have also been engaging in one of my favorite past times. If you are assuming I was taking a nice long nap, you would be correct. Napping is a hobby of mine.

I was looking through some ads, and I see that computer companies have finally made a computer for dogs called a netbook. I know it is for dogs because it is smaller than the human computers so that it is easier for a dog to carry with him when he goes places. This is very a very exciting thing for us dogs. We no longer have to depend on the humans to do our typing for us. Of course, I will continue to use Mommy as my typist because she works free, and it saves me a lot of work. However, it is still nice for me to have my own computer.

I was checking over the groceries that came into the house yesterday, and I'm a bit confused. There was a turkey. Now I am wondering if we are going to have our traditional Thanksgiving pizza or if there will be turkey. I guess it will be a surprise!

I plan to get back to my birthday celebration, and take a nap. I hope everyone had as nice a day as I have had.

Demon Flash Bandit (Birthday Dog)

Guest Blogger: Angel Zoom Smokey!!!!!!

Howdy everyone! My name is Angel Zoom Smokey. I am Demon's sister and, from time to time, mortal enemy (aren't all siblings?). Anyway, Demon is having me write this blog because his secretary (code name: mommy) is in the hospital at the moment. If everything goes fine, she should be out in a couple of days. Demon just felt that the world might end without some "husky wisdom" everyday so he wants me to blog today since he refuses to allow the likes of Jeff to write his blog. Demon can be impossible at times.

Anyway, everyone here hopes mommy feels better soon so she can return to her dogs! Demon told me that mommy has some writing to catch up on. Demon is always so thoughtful. Demon is a typical guy though. I am a lot more thoughtful, I just want to make sure she brings home a lot of grilled chicken from the hospital. They give out grilled chicken as a prize for escaping the hospital, don't they? If they don't, they should, more people would go to the hospital just so they could leave and get chicken.

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of my views with Demon's blog readers today. First of all, I actually like birds...in my stomach. When it comes to birds not in my stomach, I pretty much agree with Demon one hundred percent that they should all die (so we dogs can eat them). I enjoy eating gourmet food, such as chicken or any other birds (turkey will more than do as well). I like Mexican style food and enjoy Taco Bell very much. Demon doesn't care much for it, but I don't mind a few tacos here and there mixed in with my chicken (plus, Taco Bell has wonderful chicken tacos that are to mush for).

I ran as Demon Flash Bandit's running mate in the 2008 election (we didn't get as many votes as Obama/Biden but we got a lot more than McCain/Palin's 3 votes nationwide). Some of you may not know that Demon and I invented the Fur Party in politics. Next time, instead of voting for major political players, vote for a dog! You will thank me later.

The Fur Party promised more fire hydrants on the street for EVERYONE to pee on! We felt that making humans feel equal to dogs was important in bridging the species gap. We also promised to find alien life to bring to Earth so they could clean up the human's poop. Humans have to clean up their own waste. It must be disgusting and degrading. Demon and I felt that having some higher intelligence clean up their poop would not only help the humans feel more equal, but it would also create a great relationships with humans! What alien in their right mind would want to take over a planet in which the higher beings (dogs and humans) don't even clean up their own poop. Alien invasion successfully avoided thanks to us dogs.

Of course, I can't legally make anyone vote for a dog on election day...but I can illegally make someone, so just keep that in mind (wink wink). Seriously though, if you do vote for a dog in 2012, make sure it's Demon Flash Bandit and Angel Zoom Smokey! We would bark the roof off of Washington D.C.!

-Angel Zoom Smokey (Dog of the People)