Angry Birds Hat Inappropriate Hat for Prince Harry

I hate to have to write this since I am not British, but I think the royal family has finally crossed the line and should not be allowed to continue to rule. How did I come to this conclusion? It is a very simple answer.....Prince Harry was seen wearing an angry birds hat. I have written in past blogs about how the royal family seem to enjoy wearing silly hats. Up until now, it is just merely a showing of bad taste. However, birds are evil and are planning to take over the planet so wearing a bird on one's head is highly inappropriate behavior. When a Prince does this, he is giving the message, "birds are okay"-nothing could be further from the truth. Birds are evil varmints that should be killed upon sight. Even cats know this fact, and all dogs know that cats are not geniuses. Yet you have a human who is part of the royal family who is essentially telling his subjects (or his grandmother's subjects-we dogs don't tend to keep up with royal protocol or royal talk) that birds are wonderful and even make a great theme for a hat. Why didn't he just wear a hat with bananas and papayas on it? I would not suggest tomatoes because tomatoes have been known to kill people. (I refer you to the Killer Tomato movies.) If I were British, I would be calling for an end to royal rule due to the family not showing the proper hatred for birds. Here is the link so that you can see for yourself that I am not making this up...he really did wear an angry birds hat:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/06/prince-harry-angry-birds-hat_n_1748492.html?utm_hp_ref=style

On a totally unrelated subject, today is zucchini day which is a stupid day in my opinion. Why not just change it to bacon day? If bacon already has a day, it doesn't matter. Bacon is so delicious, it deserves 2 days.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Angry Birds)

Stupid Policeman In Austin, Texas Kills dog at Wrong Address

Today I am writing about a subject that has made me very angry. In Austin, Texas, a dog was shot by a policeman who was responding to a domestic violence call at the wrong address. The dog was minding his own business and when the policeman came up, the dog barked at him.....if anyone knows anything about dogs, that is what we do. In this case, the policeman shouldn't have been there in the first place...as I have pointed out, he was at the wrong address. I think this policeman should be fired and possibly have animal cruelty charges brought against him. Even if he knew nothing about dogs, and was afraid the dog was going to bite him; there are other ways to deal with it. He did not have to shoot and kill the dog! I have a solution to this problem that would work great in Texas. Since Texas has more guns that people, I say arm the dogs and teach them to shoot. The next time some idiot policeman comes to the wrong address and threatens to kill a dog; the dog can shoot first and ask questions later...just like the policeman did in this case. There have been way too many cases of policemen killing dogs in recent months, and I think this is ridiculous. If a policeman can't even deal with a dog, how are they supposed to deal with criminals whose behavior tends to be a lot worse than that of dogs? Most dogs don't attack unless they are protecting their home and loved ones. When did the police forces start hiring such idiots? I know some intelligent policemen, and these idiots make them all look bad which I think is wrong because humans and dogs should like the police and trust them---not wonder if they have enough sense to come in out of the rain. Here is a link to the article:


http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/04/17/11250094-officer-shoots-mans-dog-after-911-caller-gives-wrong-address?lite





Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Stupid Policeman in Texas)

We Don't Need Any Chicken Robots

My humans were watching a television show called Robot Chicken, and this show is a major concern for me. As my regular readers are aware, I am not a fan of birds, and a chicken is a bird. In fact, it is a intellectually challenged bird because it can't fly. This makes them easier for a dog to catch so it is actually a good thing for a dog who is in the mood for barbequed or fried chicken. However, this robot chicken concerns me. I don't see the need for a chicken robot, and robots do not make good eating so what is the point of making a chicken robot? I think there is a better use for robotics--like robot sled dogs so huskies like myself can nap and have snacks instead of pulling a sled. Some of you might say that the humans could just use one of those snow vehicles, but those snow vehicles do not have cute tails to watch as you are riding along. It is like the caboose on a train--the humans always used to wait to see the caboose. It was the best part of the train--partly because the caboose meant that they didn't have to wait any longer for the train to quit blocking the roadway. Anyway, the Robot Chicken program is funny, but this dog would prefer it wasn't a chicken or anything in the bird family. I really don't like birds!

Demon Flash Bandit (Chickens Don't Need to be Robots)

Angry Birds and Angry Dogs

I know this is hard for me to report, but a lady wore an "Angry Birds" dress to a big event. This made me an angry dog. As my regular readers are aware, I dislike birds. Besides trying to take over the planet, they spend much of their time annoying dogs. This is how the birds infiltrate human society. They invented a video game, and then, once they get the weak minded humans playing it, they take over by having Angry Birds tshirts, and now dresses worn to big occasions. I have even seen Angry bird dog toys--like I want to play with a toy that has an angry bird on it. Sure, dogs are smart enough to see the birds plans,, but the humans are so easily fooled that I am very worried that the war with the birds will be settled in the birds' favor.

Another thing that I want to mention....several customers at a Walmart in Atlanta, Georgia have been poked by needles that are in the clothing sold at Walmart. The customers are complaining about it, but Walmart does advertise that it gives you better value for your money--this time, they are throwing in needles at no extra charge. Personally, I think there could be an angry birds connection with both these stories. I think the birds are putting the needles in the angry birds clothing line in a feeble attempt to give the humans more for their money. This will fool the humans because humans are idiots! I suppose it could be worse--they could be leaving their bird bombs in the clothing.

I will continue to watch for these news items and share them with my readers. When dealing with birds, a dog cannot be too vigilant!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Angry Birds)

Birds Do Not Belong on Tshirts

Birds are evil creatures who cause global warming, and are in a massive plot to take over the planet. Most dogs learn this as puppies. Even most cats know this and want to have birds as snacks. Humans just never seem to learn. It is bad enough that they build birdhouses for them, and set out bird feeders filled with bird seed to "take care of the cute birds". In addition, they have invented a video game called Angry Birds. However, when I saw a tshirt being worn by a human that had the face of an "Angry Bird" on it, I got annoyed. Once again, the humans have not been listening to their dogs wisdom. We tell them to destroy all birds, and they act like birds are harmless little creatures. Now some of them are even wearing tshirts that seem to honor birds. When will the humans listen to their dogs and use some sense?

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Dislikes Birds)

Only Real Enemy: BIRDS!!!

Today marks the 150th anniversary of the start of the Civil War in the United States. Of course, tension had been building up for a long time prior to the shots fired at Fort Sumter. The fort had been under siege-like conditions for months prior to the attack. The south wanted to secede from the United States, and the north wanted to keep the union intact. Before the whole thing was over, a lot of people died and many people were wounded. If you ask my opinion, the whole thing was a waste. This is why I think that all warfare should be directed at the real arch enemy of the planet--BIRDS!!! I don't like them, and I think they are only useful as snack food. Once again, they have stolen my snow. Just a few months ago, a dog could go out and enjoy a yard full of lovely, white, cold snow. Now the birds have stolen it yet again and are singing about their triumph as I write this blog. I speak fluent bird, and their main song is "ha ha, I stole the dogs' snow". I can't even go and bite them because my humans (typical of their species) don't appreciate how horrible the birds really are. They think they are cute and sing sweet songs. I only wish the humans could speak bird as I do. Then they would not be fooled by the birds and their songs. However, on the original topic of the anniversary of the Civil War, it is sad when the humans decide to fight each other no matter where they are or what it is about. Maybe one day they will realize that and learn to get along with each other. If a dog and cat can get along, then there is hope for the humans. Demon Flash Bandit (War is Stupid)

Geese: Humans Mad at Them for the Wrong Reason

There is a school in Missouri that has had a problem with allowing children to play outside on the playground because geese have been hanging out there and leaving behind their poop. Sure, this dog thinks school is a waste of a dog's time. When you take the humans to obedience school, they take forever to learn anything because humans don't think they have to listen to a dog. It takes a long time for them to understand that a dog is supposed to be in charge. Anyway, the humans have found a way to solve the problem. They put a cutout of a coyote who looks like he has a goose in his mouth and it has solved the problem--or so they think. If I know anything about the evil birds--and I do. There will be more trouble in the future. I would venture a guess that the geese are busy forming a geese army and preparing their weapons to do battle with that coyote. When they discover that the coyote is a decoy, there will be trouble. The school should skip the fake coyote and go with dogs. We know how to fight the evil birds, and we could keep them away. Of course, knowing how silly the humans are, they would probably start complaining that there is dog poop on the playground. Sometimes you just can't please the humans. They are odd. Personally, I don't see where poop is a bad thing; but as usual. the humans have bad taste.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Knows Birds Are Evil)

Star Trek: The Avian Factor

I just watched a video which shows my warnings about bird takeover are real. The video is a clip in which the crew of the Starship Enterprise (Next Generation) have become addicted to a video game called Angry Birds. It is called "The Avian Factor". This addiction is an attempt by aliens to take over Star Fleet. The video can be viewed at http://www.urlesque.com/ . I hope that people will begin to listen to my many warnings about the birds and their plans for world domination. I'm sure that, once the aliens have conquered Star Fleet, the birds will then go after the aliens that are "helping" them now. Birds cannot be trusted!



According to the Internet news, the royal wedding invitations have been mailed. I think being the Queen does have its advantages. The invitation says "The Lord Chamberlain is commanded by the Queen to invite....... The Queen Lady has almost as much power as a dog. I know I often command my humans to do things which they do because I told them to. I already know that I am invited since the Queen Lady and I are such close pals. However, I do think it was unwise not to invite the Obamas and Bo, the first dog. I'm sure the Obamas are okay with not going, but I think the Queen should realize that leaving out a very powerful leader of a country with which her country is a friend could have some serious repercussions with the citizens of that country. Sure, I'm happy she invited me, but if I had known she was leaving out our President, I doubt that I would have accepted the invitation. Since I have already given my word that I will be there and I'm a dog of honor, I will still go. However, you can be sure the Queen Lady will be getting a "barking at" when I get there.



Demon Flash Bandit (Birds Are Evil)

Ken And Barbie--Hope They Get Back Together!

Celebrity couples breaking up is hardly news, but this dog was saddened back in 2004 when Barbie and Ken broke up. They had been dating for 43 years so you would think that they would stay together after investing all that time in each other. Mommy happens to be fond of Barbie. I agree with her. Both of us couldn't believe that her "rival" the Bratz doll, would even leave the store shelves. Mommy said the doll was ugly, and I have to agree with her. Anyway, at least we know that Ken didn't leave Barbie to go after one of those dolls. Then a couple of days ago, I read some good news. Ken plans to win Barbie back by Valentine's Day. I hope he can do so because it would be good to see Ken and Barbie back together again. It will probably be hard for Ken though because, from my observation, Barbie is used to being spoiled so it might take a lot to win her back. Good luck, Ken. If you need some advice, I'm available, and I happen to be very popular with the girl dogs.
In other news, Henry Cavill has been chosen to play Superman in the reboot of the movie. This dog was okay with Routh playing the part again, but I think Cavill will do a good job. There is only one problem I have with Superman. You know when they say, It's a bird, it's a plane.....I don't care for the bird part. If Superman were a bird, Lex Luthor wouldn't be the only one exposing him to kryptonite. Demon Flash Bandit would be sending Superman the gift of kryptonite too. The last thing we need on Earth is an alien bird!
Demon Flash Bandit (Offering Advice to Ken)

My Comments on Various Topics

In Crystal Lake, Illinois, a 4 pound chihuahua was almost taken by an owl when out for a walk with the dog's human. How many times do I have to warn the humans of bird treachery before they listen? Now there is talk of making the Angry Birds game into a television show. The world does not need a television show about birds unless it is bird recipes.

Speaking of television shows, I'm not a fan of reality shows, and neither are my humans, but I am really wondering why they have one called the Real Housewives of OC. I'm sure these women can't help having obsessive compulsive disorder, but I hardly think it is worthy of filming a television show about them. Do the humans really enjoy watching other humans clean excessively. I bet their dogs are miserable. Dogs enjoy dirt, and most obsessive compulsive humans do not--unless you get one that is compulsively messy. In that case, the dog is in doggy heaven.

Am I the only dog who thinks that Cesar Milan should be called the Dog Shouter instead of the Dog Whisperer? I know if he came to my house to try to train me, he had better start yelling because if he is only whispering, this dog isn't listening. If a dog can't hear the "instructions", he can't be expected to follow them. I would have him on a technicality.

It is nap time and nap time is always super important to me. Come back tomorrow for more of my words of wisdom.

Demon Flash Bandit (Commenting on Topics)

Zombieland

Angel Zoom Smokey and myself finally got to see Zombieland. Since we aren't allowed in theatres due to us being dogs, we always have to wait for things to come out on dvd before we get to see them. I have already complained in the past about silly rules not allowing dogs in public so I will refrain from repeating the complaints in this blog. I enjoyed the movie. Of course, I didn't see much difference in the humans and the zombies. Zombies were running around like they were in a daze, and that is how most humans act so a dog could have a bit of a problem trying to distinguish the difference. I am very glad that Mommy upgraded to a new hd television in her bedroom and got the bluray player for it. This meant I was able to watch Zombieland in high definition. Believe me, when you watch zombies with oozing sores, you want to see it clearly. When the human in the movie found the yellow Hummer with the arsenal of weapons in the back and he said, "Thank God for rednecks", this dog got all choked up. Normally, I think guns are not really necessary to have around, but I suppose the National Rifle Association has a point when they say, "what if we get attacked by zombies?" Finally, I could see the logic of their argument. Sure, I know that zombies aren't supposed to exist, but if you have one planning to eat your brain, it is a bit late to wish you had listened to the humans who said they do exist. Anyway, this dog will be more careful in the future when I go out....killer tomatoes, zombies, birds....what other dangers lurk outside the door? If I wasn't such a big, brave dog, I might be afraid to leave the house.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend, and watch out for zombies!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Zombies)

Corporate Greed--Not Global Concern

Some of the humans are concerned about global warming. This is a serious problem that might be fixed if only they listened to my words of wisdom and eradicated birds from the planet. Those little snow stealing varmints are the reason for global warming. Just think about it, what happens in spring when they start singing? The snow disappears. You don't honestly think it just vanishes, do you? It disappears because the birds steal it. I have mentioned this often, but the word is still not out in the human community. The humans think they can fix the problem by conserving and "going green" which brings me to today's topic. When companies "go green" how many of them are trying to help the planet (which can only be helped by getting rid of birds) or are they just using the whole concept to their advantage? Case in point: some hotels now don't wash the linens everyday because they are doing their part to conserve water and resources. Am I the only dog who thinks that they are being lazy and cheap? By cutting back on employees and the cost of laundering the linens, they save money. I know bedbugs are not caused by a lack of cleanliness, but it is an odd coincidence that when many hotels are not washing their linens as much, you start reading stories on the Internet about hotels having bedbugs? These bugs have all but disappeared for decades, and then suddenly, they are back. You know the bugs are lazy because they hang out in bed all day so getting rid of them shouldn't be that difficult. Probably all you need to do is offer them a job and they will be out of your life. Dirtier linens and possible bed bugs--not exactly a combination that makes a dog want to stay in a hotel.

Another corporate trend in the retail world is self check out in stores. Why would a human want to bother checking himself out so that the store can save money by cutting back on cashiers? It isn't even like they offer you a 1% discount for doing the work yourself or anything. You still pay the normal price, and the prices have not gone down in the stores that have them. The customer just gets the added work of checking out his or her own items. The humans will put up with most anything, won't they? My humans still go to the cashiers to check out. They said they will not be a part of adding more humans to the unemployment line so some family like the ones who own Walmart can buy another airplane. I am very proud of my humans because they think like dogs at times. I have trained them well.

Demon Flash Bandit (Corporate Greed is Not Good)

Guest Blogger: Angel Zoom Smokey!!!!!!

Howdy everyone! My name is Angel Zoom Smokey. I am Demon's sister and, from time to time, mortal enemy (aren't all siblings?). Anyway, Demon is having me write this blog because his secretary (code name: mommy) is in the hospital at the moment. If everything goes fine, she should be out in a couple of days. Demon just felt that the world might end without some "husky wisdom" everyday so he wants me to blog today since he refuses to allow the likes of Jeff to write his blog. Demon can be impossible at times.

Anyway, everyone here hopes mommy feels better soon so she can return to her dogs! Demon told me that mommy has some writing to catch up on. Demon is always so thoughtful. Demon is a typical guy though. I am a lot more thoughtful, I just want to make sure she brings home a lot of grilled chicken from the hospital. They give out grilled chicken as a prize for escaping the hospital, don't they? If they don't, they should, more people would go to the hospital just so they could leave and get chicken.

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of my views with Demon's blog readers today. First of all, I actually like birds...in my stomach. When it comes to birds not in my stomach, I pretty much agree with Demon one hundred percent that they should all die (so we dogs can eat them). I enjoy eating gourmet food, such as chicken or any other birds (turkey will more than do as well). I like Mexican style food and enjoy Taco Bell very much. Demon doesn't care much for it, but I don't mind a few tacos here and there mixed in with my chicken (plus, Taco Bell has wonderful chicken tacos that are to mush for).

I ran as Demon Flash Bandit's running mate in the 2008 election (we didn't get as many votes as Obama/Biden but we got a lot more than McCain/Palin's 3 votes nationwide). Some of you may not know that Demon and I invented the Fur Party in politics. Next time, instead of voting for major political players, vote for a dog! You will thank me later.

The Fur Party promised more fire hydrants on the street for EVERYONE to pee on! We felt that making humans feel equal to dogs was important in bridging the species gap. We also promised to find alien life to bring to Earth so they could clean up the human's poop. Humans have to clean up their own waste. It must be disgusting and degrading. Demon and I felt that having some higher intelligence clean up their poop would not only help the humans feel more equal, but it would also create a great relationships with humans! What alien in their right mind would want to take over a planet in which the higher beings (dogs and humans) don't even clean up their own poop. Alien invasion successfully avoided thanks to us dogs.

Of course, I can't legally make anyone vote for a dog on election day...but I can illegally make someone, so just keep that in mind (wink wink). Seriously though, if you do vote for a dog in 2012, make sure it's Demon Flash Bandit and Angel Zoom Smokey! We would bark the roof off of Washington D.C.!

-Angel Zoom Smokey (Dog of the People)

Angry Birds are Really Stupid Birds

Birds have to be one of the most annoying varmints on Planet Earth. Now there is a popular iphone game called Angry Birds. I don't personally play video games much since my paws are a bit clumsy. However, just from the title, Angry Birds, I can tell that this popular video game is stupid. I watched the "trailer" for the game. It seems that the birds were so busy beating up a bug that landed on their eggs, that some pigs managed to steal their eggs while they busy with the bug. I know that the term "bird brains" is used in popular culture for a reason--birds are stupid little animals. Just the fact that many of them migrate south in the winter shows how stupid they are. Why not just stay where it is warm and there is food? Flying hundreds of miles is work--and they do it every year because no bird was smart enough at the start of spring to say to the other birds, "it is nice here, why are we leaving?" This is why it does not surprise me that the pigs could get the eggs--the birds are too stupid to watch over their eggs.

This brings me to another point I saw on the Internet news today. It seems that home schooling is becoming more acceptable. I can only hope that the homes where these children are being home schooled has turned the task over the the family dog. I do have to admit that it has to be frustrating for the dogs. It takes the human puppies so long to learn to do anything. Just look how long it takes them to learn to walk and talk--a dog puppy can do that very quickly. However, we dogs love our humans and we can summon up the patience to deal with the humans puppies if necessary. When is a dog supposed to get in his naps if you have children around bothering the dog? Most of us take our nap time very seriously. This is why I think children should go to school. Parents and dogs need a rest!

Mommy brought home a book last night--I Has a Hot Dog. She has been looking for the book and finally one of the stores she went to had it. She was ready to order it on Amazon. If you want to read a classically good book, this is the book for you. It has cool photos of dogs, and it has captions saying what the dog is thinking. This book should be a best seller if you ask me---it is a great piece of literature. If William Dogspeare had published a book of this quality, I might even say he is a good writer, but I don't think he ever thought of getting out his camera and taking photos.

I'm sorry about the lack of a blog yesterday--it was my humans fault. She took one of my brothers to the theatre, and then she was sick when she got home last night. I would fire her, but I could tell she was really sick, and Angel Zoom Smokey felt it was her job to comfort Mommy. I think she is just trying to worm her way into more treats. She isn't fooling me any. I will not stoop to that level just to get some Yummy Chummies. I have to go now and kiss Mommy. Some Yummy Chummies would taste good in my tummy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Catching up on Blogging)