Movie Review: Gladiator

I have decided to do a movie review of a movie that is not recent, but it is a good movie none the less. That movie is Glad I Ate Her (or Gladiator). This movie is about a dog who met a chicken. The chicken was, as is true of most birds, highly annoying and also a villian. The dog tried to be nice, but sometimes you just can't get along with a chicken. The chicken kept strutting around the chicken coop saying things like "I'm a bird, deal with it dog", and also, "my feathers are cuter than your fur". However, the dog reached the limit of his endurance when the chicken threatened to tell the humans that the traditional Sunday dinner is not chicken, but dog. That was the last straw so the dog killed the chicken and ate her. Of course, this is how the movie got its title, "Glad I Ate Her". I give this movie 4 paws up, a tail way and some kisses. It was so good it won the Colonel Sanders Award of Excellence. The movie gets a 10 out of 10 on the human movie scale. If you haven't seen it yet, get it on blu-ray or dvd. You'll be glad you did, and I suggest you go out for dinner afterward...KFC would be a perfect choice!

Demon Flash Bandit (Glad I Ate Her--The Stupid Chicken)

Go Out to Eat and Buy a House

IKEA, the restaurant that allows you to buy furniture when you go out to eat has now made life even more convenient for its customers. Now you can buy a pre-fab home when you go out to eat. For a mere $85,000, you can buy the house to put the furniture they sell in. I think this has to be the ultimate in convenient shopping. So many stores don't have this kind of dedication to making their customers' lives easier. I only hope they can keep up with the orders. I know when I got out to dinner, I usually carry $85,000 with me because you never know when you are going to want to buy a house at the restaurant. Of course, I'm guessing they have payment plans, but I've actually never been to an Ikea store so I have no idea what they have. There is one near where Mommy used to live, and it is about an hour away, but Mommy has never bothered to go there. Mommy's taste in furniture tends to be more traditional than what Ikea carries. I have seen their sales ads, and their stuff is okay. For those who want to have dinner and get a house, be sure and go to the nearest Ikea. You will not be disappointed.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Ikea)

Road Kill Cafe

Today I am writing about a cafe in Arizona which I have never been to personally, but I am choosing to write about it because I like to write about places that aren't the same everywhere you go. I think there are others who share my taste for the unusual so this blog is for those dogs. I have heard of the Road Kill Cafe. I've seen a menu and I've seen t-shirts with the name, but I thought it was just a joke. Imagine my surprise when I found that there really is a Road Kill Cafe in Arizona. Personally, as a dog, I find it pleasant not to have to go out and hunt varmints myself...it is so much nicer just to wait until a car hits the varmint and then...DINNER! I have to admit that I have never had road kill even though 2 deer have died in my yard thanks to cars, but my Mommy would not let me eat them. My humans wouldn't eat them either. Anyway, this cafe sounds like a fun place to visit, but knowing my humans, they probably would just stop by the general store and not eat there....yeah, they tend to be very undoglike in their thinking. For those who want to find out more about this super cool place, here is the web address:
http://www.route66seligmanarizona.com/The_Roadkill_Cafe.php

If you go there, tell them Demon Flash Bandit sent you. I love saying that!

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About the Road Kill Cafe)

Dogs Choice of Fish for Dinner

I was just wondering....some homes have aquariums filled with fish. I have to assume that even the humans realize that you can't pet a fish since they have to live underwater so they can't be "pets" by the very definition of the word, pet. However, there must be some reason why the humans have fish in their homes because it takes some trouble to set up an aquarium, and it costs money to feed the fish and take care of them. Since they aren't pets, why would the human go to the trouble and expense of having them in the first place? I have the answer to that question. I have watched television enough to know that when you go into an elegant seafood restaurant, the customer picks out the "live" lobster that he or she wants to eat. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that the aquarium is set up in the house so dogs and cats can choose which fish they want to eat. That is the only logical reason for having an aquarium in the home. It is particularly welcome for cats since cats really love seafood, and they like to see the food try to get away before it is caught. This brings me to my next point. When the humans have a bird in a cage, is that also for the dog or cat to choose as dinner? Personally, I think it would be a great idea. I would not mind getting to choose a bird for dinner. I'm sure they taste delicious!

Demon Flash Bandit (Fishes are For Eating)

Leonardo Dicaprio Breaks up With Girlfriend

Perhaps you saw the story about Leonardo Dicaprio breaking up with his super model girlfriend, Bar Refaeli. The media didn't tell the entire story of how it happened, but as usual, you can get the whole story from my blog. I have to admit that I am responsible for their breakup. I was visiting Leo at his home. I might add that Leo is not green and has outgrown that awkward mutant turtle stage nicely. Leo and I were having a great time together. He had arranged to have his assistant pick up some whoppers from Burger King for us to eat. They were delicious and we were chowing down on our tasty meal when the telephone rang. It was his girlfriend. Since Leo was in the magnificent presence of Demon Flash Bandit, and we were eating whoppers, he should have let it go to voice mail. Instead, he proceeded to take the call. As you can imagine, I was outraged because this interrupted my dinner.

This is when I realized that I needed to break up this couple for Leo's own good. This was easier to accomplish than you might think. I showed him a photo of Angel Zoom Smokey. she is one "smokin' hot" girl husky, thus the name Smokey. I arranged a meeting between the two and the rest is history. The next time Leo and I share a whopper, there will be no interruptions. I do feel sorry for Bar Rafaeli. When compared to a dog, she is always going to lose.

Demon Flash Bandit (The Truth Behind the News)

Goldie and the Three Dogs

Once upon a time there was a little blond human girl who was wandering through the forest. She was in the forest because she was such a brat that when she went out to play, her parents moved away. They had a mobile home so they took the home with them leaving her homeless.

Meanwhile a family of 3 super nice dogs decided to leave their house and go for a walk. Goldie (that was the girl's name) found the house and the let herself in. As I said, she never followed proper protocol--she didn't even knock. She was hungry and she saw some food on the table. She tried the first dish, and she thought it was too spicy. (It was the Daddy Dog's dinner.) Then she tried the second dish, and it was too plain. (It was the Mommy Dog's dinner.) Finally she tried the third dish, and it was just right so she ate all of it. (It was the Puppy's dinner.)

Then she decided to watch television. She watched the one in the living room which was the one the Daddy Dog liked to watch. It's volume was too loud. Then she tried the one in the master bedroom which the Mommy dog liked to watch, and she could barely hear it. Then she tried the one in the Puppy's bedroom and it was just right--so she loaded it on a cart to take with her.

Then she decided to take a nap. The Daddy Dog's Bed was too big. The Mommy Dog's bed was also too big, and the Puppy's bed was just right so she took a nap and then loaded it on the cart along with the television.

The dogs came home from their walk and they noticed that their stuff had been tampered with, and the Puppy was very upset because all his stuff was gone. The dogs called the police, and they found Goldie trying to pawn the Dog Family's stuff and now Goldie is serving a prison sentence for being a thief.

Finally, a good fairy tale told from the point of view of a family of dogs!

Demon Flash Bandit (Crime Does Not Pay)

Aliens Love Earth Food

For several days, there has been a news video on AOL Internet news that shows a UFO over China. Of course, as usual, the humans speculate on whether it is an alien spaceship, a military experiment, or even a hoax. The most obvious reason is never mentioned. The pilot, Teska, was hungry and he dropped by China for some dinner--almond chicken. Next week, you may very well see a UFO over Italy when Teska decides he is in the mood for pizza. You might wonder how I know this information, and there is a simple explanation for my knowledge. I was introduced to Teska by a mutual friend, Rover 1, who is from Sirius, the Dog Star. Teska often drops by Earth to pick up food when he is hungry. It seems that the other planets do not offer a large choice of restaurants so Teska comes here when he gets hungry. Because he doesn't want to cause a big crowd at the restaurant which would make it take longer to get his food, the advanced technology of his space ship can turn the ship into a human looking car when it lands to approach the restaurant. Usually the humans never see it in the air, but sometimes they do get a glimpse of the ship, and then they get excited because they don't know what the ship happens to be. If I told them it was just Teska getting some Chinese food, I doubt that they would believe me, and I'm sure someone will decide it is some kind of conspiracy to get our best human recipes to take back to their home planet. Would it really matter is Teska's planet has an Outback Steakhouse? It really won't be competition for our planet's food since we can't jump into a space ship and run to their planet to get dinner. I think the humans should let Teska get his dinner and leave quietly. He prefers not to be in the limelight since he is just a regular guy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Aliens Love Our Food)