Why Hope for Life on Mars?

I have had the honor of being chosen as a diary pick on http://www.dogster.com/ today. I have been writing on that site for many years. It is a great social network site for dogs and cats (cats have http://www.catster.com/).



I'm sure that I, like most dogs, sometimes wonder about the humans and their lack of sense. There was actually a news item today that said, "hope for life on Mars". If you ask this dog, I think it would be better if Mars has no life on it. It isn't like Mars has human like life or even dog like life. What are they hoping for: bacteria? What if Mars has some kind of killer bacteria? Don't we have enough problems with low life bacteria here on Earth without hoping it exists on other planets? Would they get excited about finding a new species of fleas on Mars? I bet they would. If you ask my opinion, they could round up every flea on Earth and send them to live or not live (which would be my preference) on Mars and this dog would be thrilled! If the big news agencies paid attention to the tabloids, they would know that according to the Weekly World News, aliens from the Planet Zeeba have set up bases in Antarctica from which to attack Earth. Do we really need to worry about Martians too? Perhaps there are human like Martians on Mars which we can't see for whatever reason (maybe they have advance technology which employs a cloaking device), and they are waiting to take over Earth. Obviously, the scientists who "hope" for life on Mars have not seen the many sci-fi movies where the aliens are annoying reptile like creatures who are disgusting.

Another upsetting item from the Weekly World News is about scientists making a alligator-chicken. I eat a lot of chicken, and I don't think I know of any dog who wants our chickens mixed with alligators. I am personally glad that I don't run the risk of running into an alligator when I go outside which is something that not all dogs can say. A dog in Florida might run into a gator anytime it goes outside. If you ask me, the scientists could be doing something more useful--like building spaceships to take all the fleas on planet Earth to Mars.

Demon Flash Bandit (Aliens Could be Trouble)

Dirt: It Loves Dogs

I was watching a video that was posted by one of my fellow bloggers, Gone to the Snow Dogs, and in this video, the dog, Shelby, had some dirt on her paws and mouth. Of course, the human jumped to the conclusion that Shelby had been a "bad dog". I am here to relate the story from a dog's point of view since I have seen this kind of thing happen many times in my lifetime. The human lets the dog go outside. The dog is innocently walking around the yard, maybe taking care of some kind of important doggy business, and making sure the neighborhood is safe. We dogs are always working at protecting our humans and what do we often get for our efforts? Humans telling us to quit barking is usually the outcome. Yeah, we are protecting them from every possible danger, and all they want is quiet. Don't blame the dog is a butterfly gets into the house and strangles a human in their sleep--we tried to warn them, but they wanted quiet. Anyway, the dog is just walking around the yard minding his or her own business when dirt attacks!!!! Yes, the dirt attacks the dog. The dog has nothing to do with it. It gets in the dog's mouth, it gets on his or her paws, and sometimes it even gets all over the dog's body. We dogs enjoy dirt so we understand that it is just trying to be pals with a dog so we don't want to get the dirt into trouble so we do what the humans ask us to do and keep it quiet. The dirt even jumps out of the Earth causing a hole so it will look like we have been digging. Humans, being of limited intelligence, always believe the dog was involved.

I might add that sometimes a dog does dig because a dog has farming to do. I myself have planted several bones, and when they grow into cows and pigs, there will be some good eating around here. Angel Zoom Smokey has a garden planted with chicken bones because chicken is her favorite food. If Burger King burgers had bones, I would definitely plant some of them. It would be great to go out and harvest my own burgers when I'm hungry.

I hope that other dogs and dirt are not mad at me for telling the true story of what happens when we go outside. I think it is about time it was told.

Demon Flash Bandit (Informer)

Doggy Inspired Flavored Water

Today's blog is about water, specifically bottled water which has become so popular with the humans in recent years. There was a time when most humans literally drank water right from the tap, but now most of the humans buy the water that they drink from companies that bottle the water. This would be an insane concept since most of those companies are probably getting the water from their tap except for the fact that, if you have tasted the water from the tap around here, you would pay extra for bottled water too. Sure, theoretically, the water from the tap at this house is free since it comes from a well, but it is also "hard" water that has iron in it, and unless you are hoping to become Iron Man from the inside, you will choose not to drink it. Angel and I get bottled water in our watering dish. Mommy suspects the main reason we never drink out of the big porcelain watering bowl is because it has the well water in it. Sure, some humans are lucky. When Mommy was growing up in Georgia, the humans had a well there that had "soft" water from an underground spring which was better than much of the bottled water, but I suspect you just have to get lucky to live in an area that has the tasty water. This brings me to today's topic. Stores sell products you can add to water like Kool Aid and Crystal Light to flavor the water. They also sell water with vitamins--YUCK at the thought!!!! Mommy bought some doggy bottled water with nutrition packed inside, and both Angel and I refused to drink it. We could smell the nutrition and wanted no part of it. Anyway, if these companies want to make money on doggy water, why not sell flavored water that dogs will like? Kool Aid would not have survived if it had marketed liver flavor water! Most humans don't even want to eat liver. It is disgusting. I think a company should market dog water with flavors like Burger King Burger flavor water, chicken water, Yummy Chummy water, dingo bone water, and root beer water--I used to love root beer Icees when I was a puppy. Then White Castle switched flavors, and I couldn't get them anymore. I never liked the burgers much, but I loved the root beer. The fact that it was like a cold day in Alaska didn't hurt any. If you own a water company, you have my permission to use my idea, but it would be nice if you made sure that Angel and I were welcome to a free lifetime supply of the flavored water.

Demon Flash Bandit (Idea Dog)

Aliens Love Earth Food

For several days, there has been a news video on AOL Internet news that shows a UFO over China. Of course, as usual, the humans speculate on whether it is an alien spaceship, a military experiment, or even a hoax. The most obvious reason is never mentioned. The pilot, Teska, was hungry and he dropped by China for some dinner--almond chicken. Next week, you may very well see a UFO over Italy when Teska decides he is in the mood for pizza. You might wonder how I know this information, and there is a simple explanation for my knowledge. I was introduced to Teska by a mutual friend, Rover 1, who is from Sirius, the Dog Star. Teska often drops by Earth to pick up food when he is hungry. It seems that the other planets do not offer a large choice of restaurants so Teska comes here when he gets hungry. Because he doesn't want to cause a big crowd at the restaurant which would make it take longer to get his food, the advanced technology of his space ship can turn the ship into a human looking car when it lands to approach the restaurant. Usually the humans never see it in the air, but sometimes they do get a glimpse of the ship, and then they get excited because they don't know what the ship happens to be. If I told them it was just Teska getting some Chinese food, I doubt that they would believe me, and I'm sure someone will decide it is some kind of conspiracy to get our best human recipes to take back to their home planet. Would it really matter is Teska's planet has an Outback Steakhouse? It really won't be competition for our planet's food since we can't jump into a space ship and run to their planet to get dinner. I think the humans should let Teska get his dinner and leave quietly. He prefers not to be in the limelight since he is just a regular guy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Aliens Love Our Food)