Movie Review: The Artist

This is the movie review that everyone has been waiting for me to post--my review of The Artist! Yes, the movie that stars the dog, Uggy. The movie that won an Oscar because of Uggy....this is truly a revolutionary movie. It is revolutionary, not just because it starred a dog, but also because it was a silent movie filmed in black and white. In the future, when you hear of a movie being filmed in black and white that is silent, you will know that the studio has faith in the movie. This is obviously the wave of the future--not more stupid humans talking throughout the movie, except of course, for the two oldsters who did a running commentary throughout the movie in Brighton, Michigan where I saw the movie. Yes, 2 people whose commentary was very important because it only took them an hour to realize it was a silent movie. I suspect that these 2 couldn't resist commenting because of the excitement of seeing a new silent movie when they hadn't seen one since they were middle aged. I might add that the MJR Theatre in Brighton did not disappoint because the orchestra they hired to sit in the front of the theatre while the movie was playing was very cool, and the 6 people that were watching the movie were very impressed with the orchestra. To quote my human brother, Jeff, talkies are dead--shut uppys are the future. Being in his twenties, he was very impressed with the new technology which makes his stupid 3D television in his room look silly by comparison. Jeff did enjoy the movie, but I think it was because of the cool 3D effects in The Artist.

The Artist is a good movie, but it relies on an interesting story which is unusual for Hollywood. The "Artist", George Valentin, is a silent movie star who could not adjust to the talkies, which happened to several big silent movie stars in the past. There was tapdancing in the movie so you know it was a super cool movie--even though they did not have the good sense to have a cane to help with the dancing. There was a lot of cool music like Pennies From Heaven which made me want to get my ukelele out to play along. It is a shame that the humans who wrote that song didn't seem to realize that the song makes God seem cheap....why not dollars from heaven? Dollars also don't hurt when a couple of hundred fall on you. Besides, pennies cost more to mint so it would be cheaper to send down dollars. Evidently, in the early part of the 20th century, the theatres did not have to deal with as many smart alecs as there are now. Of course, back then a penny could also buy things. Now it won't even buy a piece of gum.

Uggy should have gotten top billing because he was the real star. In fact, if not for Uggy, the stupid human would have died before the movie was over. The dog had his work cut out for him watching out for Valentin. Jeff said the title of this movie in a redneck area is "Stupid French Guy Who Can't Speak American Good.

I actually wish I could have recorded the commentary of the 2 humans in Brighton for those who aren't up on their history. When the movie flashed the year of the stock market crash, they said it was the big stock market crash. If you saw this movie without their commentary, you might not have been able to surmise that it was the year of the big crash merely from the newspaper headlines, "stock market crashes". I feel so bad for the humans who don't have intellectuals in the audience to give them these bits of wisdom. I don't know how you could ever watch the movie and understand what is going on unless you have those bits of wisdom.

I give this movie a tail wag, 4 paws up, several kisses, a big hug, and a heartfelt thank you for Uggy from me. I liked this movie very much, and look forward to all the new silent movies that will be forthcoming from the studios. I am hoping for a sequel....maybe when the talkies go from black and white to color. This is a 10 out of 10 on the human movie scale. This is truly a good movie, and I enjoyed it very much!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: The Artist)

Words of Wisdom From Yogi Who is Smarter than the Average Bear

The humans went to see the 3D version of Yogi Bear yesterday. Yogi is a talking bear who lives in Jellystone Park, and he is smarter than the average bear. The mayor of the city near Jellystone has run the city government into bankruptcy, and Jellystone Park is being threatened by loggers. Meanwhile a documentary film director is filming Yogi and Boo Boo because, evidently, talking bears are a rare commodity. The humans said the movie will keep you on the edge of your seats wondering if Jellystone will survive or not. Yogi, who happens to be a bear genius, devises so many clever ways to steal pic-a-nic baskets that Yogi should get a Nobel prize for pic-a-nic basket theft. In fact, Yogi should get a nomination for an Oscar as best actor. Few bears can act as well as Yogi. Boo Boo should get the nod as a supporting actor. Yogi is not only highly intelligent, but he also possesses excellent taste. He points out that one of the things he knows in life is that real mayonnaise tastes better than low fat mayonnaise. Truer words have never been spoken--by human or bear. Jeff was teasing Mommy about how she laughed over that line, and Mommy said that you seldom see bears who make mayonnaise comparisons, and Jeff said you seldom hear bears make comments on anything because most bears don't talk. Jeff should realize that Yogi is not just any ordinary bear. He has been talking for years! This is why he is smarter than the average bear!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review of Yogi Bear)

3-D Televisions

Mommy went to see the movie, Dinner for Schmucks, and she said it was a very funny movie. I think this movie is going to be very popular with cats when it arrives on DVD since one of the characters dresses dead mice. I think a cat would probably find it interesting to eat a mouse that is wearing a suit. I wonder--do you think the other cats who haven't seen the movie will believe him?
Charles the Cat: I ate a mouse yesterday who was wearing a tuxedo and top hat. Ginger the Skeptical cat: Sure you did, and I ate one wearing pajamas.
Of course, Ginger did not eat a mouse wearing pajamas, but there is no way she is going to look like she is eating ordinary mice when Charles is eating high class mice.

My subject for today is movies made in 3-D. Since 3-D is becoming very popular, and many movies are being made in the 3-D format, it makes this dog wonder if the humans are going to spend the money to buy the new 3-D televisions that are on the market now. Personally, this dog prefers the old technology where you don't need to buy a new television, but the humans have to wear really silly looking paper glasses that make their dogs laugh and laugh. It also makes me wonder if humans like my Mommy will be willing to wear the glasses if she bought the television. Mommy hates to wear reading glasses and most of the time she doesn't wear them which explains why there are missed typos in my blog because she won't wear the reading glasses. It also makes me wonder about dogs. Can we see the movie in 3-D if we wear the glasses? I'm not sure I would like to wear glasses. I think I might have the same attitude as Mommy. Will they even manufacture 3-D glasses that will fit dogs? It is sad that I can't see Snow Dogs or Eight Below in 3-D. I think those are both wonderful movies.

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About New Technology)