Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Fried McRib Sounds Delicious!

I'm ready to take a trip to Austria. I'll have to ask my pal Raja who travels all over the world if a dog needs a passport or not. You might wonder why I want to go to Austria so much so I'll explain. McDonalds in Austria is offering for a limited time a fried McRib sandwich topped with bacon and pepper jack cheese. I would prefer a different cheese, but the rib and bacon sounds like McDonalds has finally gotten intelligent and hired a dog to tell them what to serve. This little bit of heaven probably won't be offered in the United States, and that is probably because the humans are always against good food. Yeah, I know it is silly. I have yet to meet another dog who is worried about calories or diet. We eat what we like, and let me tell you, it is wonderful. The only dogs on diets are put on them by the stupid humans. I think this is silly anyway because some humans have no health problems to keep them from eating the good stuff, and as long as it is an occasional indulgence, I think the humans are okay eating what they like. Some humans never develop the problems that the humans worry about so much no matter what they eat. I say bring on the ribs and bacon. This dog wants to try them without having to go to Austria which is a long way to go for dinner. Fot those who want to see what the sandwich looks like, go to this site:

Demon Flash Bandit (Fried McRib Sandwich Sounds Delicious)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Hank the Cat: Running for Senate Seat in Virginia

Since all the candidates who are planning to run for major offices in the United States government are beginning to do some campaigning, I have learned that political commercials on television are a fact of life until it is over. I have yet to see one that really got me excited until today. Hank is running for a senate seat in the state of Virginia. I know a lot of people run for senate, but the unusual thing about Hank is that Hank is a cat. I'm sure a dog would do a much better job, but I think the cat will still do a splendid job over that of a human. I do not live in Virginia so I can't vote for Hank, but he would have my vote if I lived there. Finally, someone who deserves to be a senator! I would also prefer to have a cat in the senate because I am thinking of running for President. I have not fully decided yet, but I think maybe the humans need the logical thinking of a dog in the White House. Here is the web address so you can read all about Hank the Cat yourself.
I am also following Hank on Twitter. For those of you who are wondering how to follow me on twitter, my name on there is demonflashhusky.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Would Vote for Cat as Senator)

Monday, February 27, 2012

Uggie the Dog Wins Oscar for Best Actor!

The Oscar awards were last night, and as usual, I did not watch the show. I have better things to do, and very often, the movies that win awards are not always ones I even particularly liked. However, from the Internet news this morning, I see that this year the Oscars have finally been chosen wisely. The Artist has captured a lot of Oscars. I have to admit that I have not seen The Artist yet, but I know that Uggie, the dog was the star so I was finally glad to see a dog win the Oscar for best actor. My humans said I should check the list of winners, but that would be a waste of my time....I know Uggie won. I even saw a photo of him at the ceremony wearing a gold bone. Yes, Uggie has finally won an Oscar for all the dogs who have gone before him that should have won an Oscar, but didn't...Uggie is our hero!!! I went to the, and I was very annoyed to see that the credits didn't even list Uggie, but I know that is going to change in future movies. The dogs will be in the credits because they are probably the ones who will win the Oscars. Conpawtulations Uggie! You are one special Jack Russell Terrier! Since this is such big news, I am going to share the story, and the photo of Uggie wearing his gold bone to the event.

Demon Flash Bandit (Glad to See a Dog Win Best Actor Oscar)

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Movie Review: Big Miracle

It is time to give a movie review of Big Miracle. This movie starred Drew Barrymore, and John Krasinski (from "The Office"). This movie takes place in a small town in northern Alaska. Three gray whales get trapped by ice and can't get to the open sea due to the ice. A reporter who was in the town from Anchorage broke the story which captured the imagination of people all over the world. A lot of effort and money was spent to try to help the whales get to open sea. This dog wondered why they didn't just get the whales some scuba gear, but evidently, the humans didn't think of that. There were even a couple of teams of sled dogs in the film, and one very beautiful black and white dog with blue eyes (it was not me). I want that dog on a poster in my room-unless it is a male, and then, this sentence was never written. It was an excellent movie. I loved looking at all the ice and snow, and I think the people and dogs who live there are super lucky. Of course, my humans do not share my love of ice and snow, but I am a Siberian Husky and that is what we like. I was disappointed that the whales were not listed in the credits because, in my opinion, they were the actual stars of the movie. It would also have been nice if they had listed the dogs in the credits too. I would like to write a fan letter to that one dog. Anyway, I give the movie 4 paws up, a hyper wagging tail, kisses, and a kiss that knocks down the humans. This would be a 9 out of 10 on the human movie rating system, which is you ask me, makes so little sense. The dog rating system is superior, but then again, dogs are superior to the humans in every way!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: Big Miracle)

Friday, February 24, 2012

Aporkolyspe Festival: Sounds Fun!

There is an Aporkolyspe Festival in New York tomorrow. Chefs will be given entire pigs that they will prepare in different ways for eating. It makes this dog's mouth water just thinking about all that delicious meat that will be available. They are also featuring many different craft beers that are made by small brewers. Personally, I don't care about the beer, but I would love to attend for the meat. Before you get your taste buds ready to rush to New York to the Festival, it is sold out. Yeah, I am bummed out over it. Just when a dog finds something interesting to do on a Saturday, you find that others who have known about it longer have already bought all available tickets. I'm not quite sure that my humans would have taken me to New York for a festival anyway, but a dog can hope. Anyway, maybe there will be one next year, and this dog will be watching because I think I could eat an entire pig myself. I just hope it isn't that Miss Piggy character because she seems nice. For those who want to find out more about this event, and hopefully, be watching for it next year if they have one, here is the web address:

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants to Attend the Aporkolypse)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Road Kill Cafe

Today I am writing about a cafe in Arizona which I have never been to personally, but I am choosing to write about it because I like to write about places that aren't the same everywhere you go. I think there are others who share my taste for the unusual so this blog is for those dogs. I have heard of the Road Kill Cafe. I've seen a menu and I've seen t-shirts with the name, but I thought it was just a joke. Imagine my surprise when I found that there really is a Road Kill Cafe in Arizona. Personally, as a dog, I find it pleasant not to have to go out and hunt varmints is so much nicer just to wait until a car hits the varmint and then...DINNER! I have to admit that I have never had road kill even though 2 deer have died in my yard thanks to cars, but my Mommy would not let me eat them. My humans wouldn't eat them either. Anyway, this cafe sounds like a fun place to visit, but knowing my humans, they probably would just stop by the general store and not eat there....yeah, they tend to be very undoglike in their thinking. For those who want to find out more about this super cool place, here is the web address:

If you go there, tell them Demon Flash Bandit sent you. I love saying that!

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About the Road Kill Cafe)

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Bacon Festival--A Wonderful Event!

Today's blog is about an event in Des Moines, Iowa, called the Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival. This event occurred last Saturday and had all tickets sold out. This event sounds like a dream come true to me, and I'm sorry I missed it!!! I bet every dog in the world would have enjoyed attending the big bacon event. There were lectures about bacon, songs about bacon, and (I certainly hope) bacon for eating! I can't think of a better thing to have a festival over than bacon. Personally, I love bacon, and I could eat bacon morning, noon, and night. You would think that no one could find any fault with such a great event, but the "Bacon Police" (The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine) had the nerve to try to put a damper on such fun by saying that bacon is bad for you. Yes, the baconistas!!! What do they know? I bet there isn't a dog among them! Besides, if bacon really is bad for the humans, why would the doctors not encourage the others to eat it? Are they trying to end up on the unemployment line? Doctors need sick people or they won't make money so you know that they would not be discouraging bacon if it really were bad for the humans. I suspect it is actually good for the humans and the doctors don't want the humans to know it. Thank goodness, we dogs know when the humans are scamming us, and we will continue to eat bacon--as much of it as we can get our paws on because bacon tastes good!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Bacon!)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dog Gone Fishing

A dog gets bored doing the same thing everyday. Although I do enjoy my naps, sometimes a dog needs to get up and do something different which is why I decided to go fishing. Fishing is quiet, and you get to sit around on the shore or in a boat, and you hold a rod in your paw, and wait for a fish to bite the bait. Having learned a few things from experience, I plan to share those tips with my readers. First of all, do not use hamburgers as bait. I can't say that fish won't eat them, but why would you feed something tasty like that to the fish when you can eat them yourself? I would rather have a hamburger than fish anytime! Unless you are a dog who enjoys water, try not to fall into the water. Being wet is something that many dogs do not enjoy--including ones like myself who don't care for baths. Remember, just because you are "fishing" does not mean that you can't leave the rod temporarily if you see something interesting like a squirrel. Squirrels expect to be chased by a dog, and would have hurt feelings if you sat there fishing once you have spotted one. If you see a black and white cat with a stripe down its back, you can go home with an interesting smell which won't be appreciated by the humans. Don't worry about it. To a dog, a smell is a smell and all are the striped cat too. You can get back to the fishing when you are done with the chase. If anyone is playing ball in a nearby park, be sure and get involved, no self respecting dog can resist a game of ball. Chances are good that you will have a human with you anyway. Let them do the work of fishing. You are a dog and as such, should not be expected to work. I am going to share a link with you about a man who has taken his dog with him on fishing trips. Keep in mind that his veiwpoint is that of a human; and is therefore, stupid.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Gone Fishing)

Monday, February 20, 2012

Aliens Shooting Down Evil Birds in Maryland!

In the past, I have written blogs about space aliens coming to Earth, but today I discovered an article in the Weekly World News that makes this dog feel good about the aliens. This article is about UFOs shooting down birds in Maryland. As a dog who has warned the humans many times about birds and their evil plot to take over the planet, it made this dog feel good to see that the birds are not fooling the aliens any, and the aliens are taking action against the evil birds. The humans may not be intelligent enough to see through the birds evil plans, but thankfully, the aliens are an advanced civilization that understand that birds need to die. Obviously, these are good aliens who are watching out for us "Earthlings" because they know that the human Earthlings don't have enough sense to watch out for themselves. I'd like to thank the aliens for getting rid of so many annoying birds. We dogs appreciate your efforts. For those who would like to read the article in the Weekly World News, here is the link:

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Knows That Birds are Evil!)

Sunday, February 19, 2012

I Scored a Snickerdoodle Cookie

Today's blog is for the adventurous dogs like myself who know how to go after what they want. I was doing some counter surfing today--counter surfing is when you put your paws up on the counter or table, and check for tasty human food. I scored a snickerdoodle cookie. It is a delightful cookie that kind of tastes like a sugar cookie with cinnamon added. It is delicious. I think most dogs will enjoy it. In case you are wondering if I got into trouble, of course I didn't. My humans left it for me so that I could enjoy it. Sometimes they give me the cookies directly, but sometimes I enjoy "working" for the cookie. I enjoy a good human cookie although I have nothing against milkbones either. I have found that the food the humans enjoy is usually better than the food made for dogs. I know this isn't fair, but that is why a smart dog always goes for what the humans are eating. Speaking of cookies, I have read that some websites leave cookies on your computer. I am very annoyed because I have looked on the computer many times and not one time have I found a cookie. I wonder if the humans are eating them before I can get them.....

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Cookies)

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Movie Review: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Today I am going to give a movie review of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. This is the story of a young man named Oskar whose dad died on 9-11. Oskar was close to his dad, and his dad was always planning "adventures" for him to take which involved mysteries that he had to solve. When Oskar found a key in his dad's closet, he set out to search for the lock that the key would fit. He thought of it as a last "adventure" from his dad. The movie is about all the people he met along the way and his experiences. Personally, this movie bothered me because Oskar was only 9 years old, and this dog does not think a 9 year old should be going all over New York City by himself. He was accompanied by an adult later on, but in the beginning of the search, he was alone. I can't imagine a responsible parent allowing a 9 year old to take off and travel all over such a large city by himself. Whenever there is a tragedy like 9-11-or even just the loss of someone naturally, there will always be a sense of loss for the people involved. It is sad that so many people were left with losses after 9-11, and those losses will never be forgotten by those left behind. My doggy rating system gives it a tail wag, but that is it. I give this movie a 4 out of 10 with 10 being the best and 1 being the worst on the human scale. I would have rated it better had the boy been 15 or 16, but a 9 year old is just too young to be out on his own in the city so it made the movie very unbelievable for me.
Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Friday, February 17, 2012

Purpose of Stonehenge

It turns out that one of the humans thinks that he has the answer to why Stonehenge was built in Great Britain. He says it has to do with sound. Here is the article for those who want to read about it:

This dog knows the real reason that Stonehenge was built. Many years ago, the humans got together and tried to come up with an idea to make life more interesting. Of course, they had to get some dogs to lead the meeting because everyone knows that dogs are the ones with the genius ideas--not the humans. The dogs suggested that they make a big park, but add some giant rocks. The rocks would make interesting scenery, and also be great to pee on. We dogs do get tired of peeing on trees. In addition, the stones, being big and unusual, would make a great tourist attraction, and bring added money into the local economy. Obviously, the dogs had a great idea because those rocks are still attracting tourists from all over the world. Without the rocks, Stonehenge would be just another field full of grass. For those of you who have been to Stonehenge in person, thank the next dog you see because, without dogs, there would be no Stonehenge.

Now that you have heard both sides, you can now make your decision on the real purpose of Stonehenge, and if you are intelligent, you will choose the dog's side of the story!

Demon Flash Bandit (Relating the Story of Stonehenge)

Thursday, February 16, 2012

I'll Take Some Flying Burgers, Thank You!

Humans in South Carolina saw some bright lights in the sky a couple of days ago. The lights have been explained as a bolide. This dog is not falling for this explanation partly because I have no idea what a bolide is. I've asked other dogs, and they have never heard of it either. Therefore, the "head humans" may fool the other humans giving silly names to things, but we dogs know that the aliens were here. They were probably getting a snack from a local restaurant. Many aliens are very fond of Earth food, and they stop in occasionally to pick up a carry-out order. I know when I go for a ride, I like to stop and get food so I'm going to assume that aliens think the same way since they are obviously an advanced civilization.

In other news, there was an incident of flying Cheetos at Lafayette High School in Indiana. This incident is good news for the aliens. If they can get food to start flying to them, they won't have to come to Earth to pick it up. Whenever they come here to pick up their food, it always excites the humans. I personally would love it too. I could sit here and call McDonalds and tell them to have a burger fly to my house when I am hungry. It beats having to go and get it!

Demon Flash Bandit (Flying Food Delivery)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Chicken Little Says the Sky is Falling!

Today's blog is considered a fairy tale, but all us dogs know that it really happened. For years, chickens have been calling it a fairy tale so they don't look so stupid. Many years ago, a little chicken who was named Henny Penny or her nickname, Chicken Little, was hanging out with some chicken pals, and an acorn fell from the tree and hit Henny Penny on the head. Henny Penny immediately came to the conclusion that the sky was falling mostly because Henny Penny was an idiot--as are most members of the chicken family. Some dogs were watching and they were laughing and laughing because Henny Penny was running around telling everyone that the sky was falling. The other chickens were in a state of panic over their impending doom. The dogs, being resourceful and intelligent suggested to Henny Penny that she and her chicken friends could hide in the nice metal thing with the top that would protect them from the falling sky. That metal thing was called a grill. Once all the chickens were inside the grill, the dogs turned it on, and they enjoyed barbequed chicken for dinner. I suppose Henny Penny was right after all....the world did end for all the chickens that day! This is also why dumb people are called "bird brains"--it is because birds are stupid!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Story of Chicken Little and the Sky Falling)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Santorum"s Solutions: Get a Job

I will probably write another blog later today, but I had to write this one early when I saw the news because I found it so funny. Santorum, who is running as a Republican candidate for President faced the humans at the Occupy movement and told them to get a job. I laughed my tail off until I realized that there are humans who take him seriously. I'm not going to get into whether or not he would be a good President (I don't think so myself), but many of the Occupy people do have jobs...they protest in their "spare time". I am hoping that his "job" is not to run for political office. I am going to assume he has worked in his life, but that running for office is something he is doing in his "spare time". It sounds to me like this guy has simple answers for all problems. Tell the blind humans to start seeing, the ones who can't walk to start walking, and the ones who are sick to get well. Yes, there are lazy humans who don't want to work, but there are also plenty who are looking for work and can't find jobs so I think this Santorum guy must be quite out of touch with regular humans. I do find it funny though. Surnames are generally given because of an ancestor's profession, name, or the place they lived. Since Santorum sounds like a Sanitarium, and sanatoriums are often used to describe places where insane people are sent, it makes sense that he is out of touch. It is probably a place where his family has been sent to live for generations which is how he got the name Perhaps a candidate should come up with some real answers if he wants to be taken seriously.

Demon Flash Bandit (Santorum Not Coming Up With Real Answers)

Monday, February 13, 2012

We Don't Need Any Chicken Robots

My humans were watching a television show called Robot Chicken, and this show is a major concern for me. As my regular readers are aware, I am not a fan of birds, and a chicken is a bird. In fact, it is a intellectually challenged bird because it can't fly. This makes them easier for a dog to catch so it is actually a good thing for a dog who is in the mood for barbequed or fried chicken. However, this robot chicken concerns me. I don't see the need for a chicken robot, and robots do not make good eating so what is the point of making a chicken robot? I think there is a better use for robotics--like robot sled dogs so huskies like myself can nap and have snacks instead of pulling a sled. Some of you might say that the humans could just use one of those snow vehicles, but those snow vehicles do not have cute tails to watch as you are riding along. It is like the caboose on a train--the humans always used to wait to see the caboose. It was the best part of the train--partly because the caboose meant that they didn't have to wait any longer for the train to quit blocking the roadway. Anyway, the Robot Chicken program is funny, but this dog would prefer it wasn't a chicken or anything in the bird family. I really don't like birds!

Demon Flash Bandit (Chickens Don't Need to be Robots)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Major Airline Owned By Dog!

Once upon a time, there lived a dog who was adorable, sweet, and intelligent. All the humans loved him (this is beginning to sound like my story, but it happened a long time ago). The dog's name was Rover, and Rover had a special talent that few dogs possess. He could fix cars. Yes, Rover was an auto mechanic. Every engine that he worked on purred--not like a cat, mind you, but the way an engine is supposed to purr. Then one day, Rover was working on a car and he got an idea. He put wings on the car, and turned it into an "airplane". He was so happy with his new invention that he gave up his job as a mechanic to manufacture airplanes. This is how he became a successful airplane manufacturer and the owner of a major airline---Rover Roves. I'm sure everyone has heard of it because they fly all over the world. It does a dog good to see another dog who is so successful!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Rover's Story)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Multi-Talented Cows

Today I am going to write about our good friend, the cow. It isn't that I know any cows personally, but I am a fan of ice cream, and ice cream comes from the milk they provide. Cows, for the most part, are a friendly group. They spend most of their lives hanging around a pasture eating grass. When an animal can turn grass into something as tasty as ice cream and cheese, a dog has to admire their talent. They are easy to chat with as long as you can master saying moo, and there are breeds of dogs that enjoy herding them wherever the farmer wants them to go. Yes, life would be a lot more boring without delicious ice cream that I enjoy every night so the next time you see a cow when you are out shopping or enjoying a night on the town, be sure and tell them how much you appreciate them. For those of you who doubt that you would see them "out on the town", here is a dancing cow video for you to enjoy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Ice Cream)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Houses Making People (And Dogs) Fat

I can honestly say that I don't have a problem with being fat. I happen to be the right size. My humans can't say the same thing though. This is a problem with many of the humans, and I am happy to be able to solve this problem for them with this blog. I happened upon an article today on the Internet entitled, "Is Your House Making you Fat"? This means that it isn't the humans' fault when they are fat....we now know that the house they are living in is to blame. I have long thought that there is a conspiracy involving houses and other buildings causing problems for the humans, but this is the first time anyone has had the guts to say it. It makes perfect sense to me. I personally have known people that can eat everything in sight and they are thin. Some of the fatter people eat far less than those thin people, and yet they are fat. Now they know that it is their house causing the problem for them. I think that the humans need to sit their houses down and tell them to quit making them fat. Houses know they can get by with it because, up until now, no one suspects that they are the problem. Now that we know, we can make the houses get with the program and quit making the humans (and dogs) fat. I don't think we should stop at houses. If houses have to stop making the humans fat, then other buildings will try to take over. It is about time we tell those buildings that they are in big trouble, and we know what they are up to. I'm glad I am able to stop this problem. Here is the web address so you can read more about houses making people (and dogs) fat:

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Won't Let Houses Get By With Making Humans and Dogs Fat)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I'm Not a Grouch, But If I Were, it Would be Justified

The humans have insinuated that I am grouchy today. In fact, they haven't just insinuated it, they have actually come right out and said it to me. I feel that my grouchiness is justified (kind of like the television program, Justified, where the leading character gets to kill someone in every expisode, but the killing is justified so it is okay). Most of my grouchiness is directed at Angel Zoom Smokey, and if you had to live with her, you would be grouchy too. She is always eating my food, taking my toys, sleeping where I want to sleep and breathing my air. I think the humans have spoiled her by letting her think that she is supposed to get food and toys just like me, but I have told her repeatedly that all food and toys in the house are MINE, MINE, MINE!!! You would think that she would understand that I run things around here--not the silly humans. Anyway, they have even referred to me as Oscar like Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street. I don't think this is a fair reference since Angel Zoom Smokey is the problem. I might add that Oscar is wrong to be grouchy. He gets to live in a garbage can with the garbage. He should be the happiest creature on Earth. Any dog would be proud to hang out in a garbage can! In fact, in one episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Frank and Charlie were hanging out in dumpsters because they found so many treasures in them so even some of the humans appreciate garbage.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Grouch)

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Movie Review: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Today I am going to do a movie review of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. The movie is about a British intelligence agent who came out of retirement to help catch a Soviet Spy during the Cold War. I will warn you that there are no dogs in this movie so the humans have to carry the movie on their own. I thought this was a boring movie. George Smiley (played by Gary Oldman) mainly stood around looking out the window or sitting around smoking cigarettes. It would have been a great ad for a cigarette company if they had George occasionally tell the audience which brand he was smoking and how much he liked them. I'm sure this is probably a more realistic portrayal of what it is like to be a spy than most movies involving James Bond. I have often made fun of Bond jumping from rooftop to rooftop without ever as much as yelling in pain---which does not seem at all realistic. However, by the time this movie was over, I was hoping that someone would do some rooftop jumping just to put a little life into the movie. I'm guessing that the next movie this director plans to do involves showing a realistic factory assembly line so that he can capitalize on boring jobs. I give this movie 1 paw up which is about a 3 on the human movie scale of 1 being bad, and 10 being excellent. To be fair, I am not a big fan of spy movies so if you like most spy movies, you may like it better than I did. Personally, I would have been happier staying home and watching Snow Dogs--the greatest movie ever made!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)

Monday, February 6, 2012

New Product: Fortune Cookie Machine

Occasionally, I enjoy sharing with my readers new products that are sure to make a big difference in everyone's lives. Today I am excited to introduce a fortune cookie machine. I happen to LOVE fortune cookies. In addition to my fortune, I get to eat a very delicious cookie. Of course, you can buy them ready made, but what if you can have your humans baking them for you at home anytime you want them? It sounds like a dream, but it is now a reality. I'm sure dogs could use the machine too, but it is much easier to have the humans do it for you. I think this is a product that should have been invented decades ago. I'm amazed that the humans have survived without this product. I am going to share the information about it with my readers. I'm sure all of you who see this blog will want to rush out and buy yourself one--and if it is a human reading it, buy it so you can make these delicious cookies for your dog. I think I would like to try one dipped in peanut butter. Here is the web address:

I saw this product at my local Target store last week. I'm sure it will be available in other stores soon since it is due to be out in spring of 2012.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Fortune Cookies)

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Drunken Shopping Carts

Personally, I don't know what all the fuss over the Super Bowl is for. I don't want to sit and watch other people play football. I have my own football (doggy size), and I like to play it myself. My humans aren't interested in watching at all, but many of the humans are very excited over the prospect of watching the game. Many of them are going to Super Bowl parties where they will eat lots of food, and many of them will drink a bit too many beers (and other alcoholic beverages). Until today, I thought it was only the humans who took part in these kinds of behaviors, but that was before I went by the store today. There was a shopping cart that was sitting on its side in the parking lot. Obviously, the cart had started celebrating early, and had already had a few too many beers. After the beers, the cart couldn't even stand up anymore. I plan to stay home the rest of the day. When shopping carts are getting drunk, it is not a good idea to go out know the humans will really be plastered! Besides, I plan to watch a better game: The Puppy Bowl!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Commenting on Drunken Shopping Carts)

Saturday, February 4, 2012

A Tail of Dogula!

Once upon a time, there lived a count whose name was Dogula. Dogula was a dogpire which means that he was one of the undead--a dog who would live forever. The only catch was that he could not go out in sunlight, and he could not eat garlic which was okay because he wasn't big on garlic anyway. Dogpires live by sucking the blood out of birds so they are good creatures because they rid the world of evil birds--and all birds are evil. Dogula lived in a castle, and the humans and dogs in the village were all very proud of him for ridding their area of evil birds. Dogula enjoyed a good bone, and he was always watching out for his neighbors. One day, the castle was attacked by a rival country--filled with birds. Dogula managed to win the battle, and there was peace and happiness in his kingdom from that time until now. Dogula was truly a good dog and a great leader!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogula--Good Dog)

Friday, February 3, 2012

Early Dogs as Pets

Once upon a time, back when the dinosaurs still roamed the Earth, there was a man named Hookey Bookus, but, to protect his identity, we will call him Fred. Fred wanted a companion--a pet that would hang out with him, but this was before men had pets. He wasn't sure what animal to get--he thought about getting a tyrannosaurus rex, but decided that a t-rex would not make a good pet, and would probably eat him for dinner. Then he considered a mastadon, but the mastadon was too big to fit into the cave. He bought a cage thinking he might get a birdasaur (early man did not realize that birdasaurs were evil), but the dinosaur birds of the era were too big for the cage. Then he thought about a saber tooth tiger, but cats were too picky about their food for Fred's taste! Finally, he found a wolfasaur, and the wolfasaur became a perfect pet, and as time went on, evolved into a dog. Of course, we dogs are the ones in charge, but we let the humans think we are their pets. It keeps them happy--it takes so little to keep the humans happy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Beginning of Men's Alliance With Pets)

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Art Subject: Birds

I was trying to decide how to get the message out that birds are evil so I took matters into my own paws, and "drew" a "photo" of a bird and what he was saying. You can trust me to draw an exact duplicate of real life. They don't call me Da (Vinci) Demon for no reason. Now all I have to do is persuade my humans to put this on t-shirts for the entire world to see. I am now negotiating with several museums who want to display my art work. It would be nice to allow the Metropolitan Museum in NYC to have it, but I might let it stay closer to home at the Detroit Institute of Art. Then I would be able to go and see it when I'm in the mood. I do understand why the museums are so excited since most dogs aren't into art unless it is lawn art. I hope this real life drawing makes the humans realize that birds are evil and must be stopped before it is too late!!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Artist)

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Movie Review: Hugo

I went to see a movie yesterday, Hugo. The movie takes place in 1930's Paris-this is shown by playing the typical French music they play as a background in most French films. You can also see the Eiffel Tower from the train station which means that the movie is supposed to take place in Paris or Las Vegas, Nevada. Since the people in the movie aren't getting on the train looking broke, you know it isn't Las Vegas. The young orphan boy, Hugo, likes to fix things. He lives in a train station, and is working on a robot his dad was trying to fix before he died. This robot leads him to adventure, but I don't want to say anymore about that because it could spoil the movie for those who have yet to see it. It was a good movie-and it was different. The thing that really made it good was that there were 3 dogs in the movie with good parts. Personally, I thought they were the stars, but the humans will think it is the humans who were the stars. Please....the dog had more talent in one paw than the humans had in both legs! I give this movie 4 paws up which is about a 8 out of 10 on the human movie scale.