Early Dogs as Pets

Once upon a time, back when the dinosaurs still roamed the Earth, there was a man named Hookey Bookus, but, to protect his identity, we will call him Fred. Fred wanted a companion--a pet that would hang out with him, but this was before men had pets. He wasn't sure what animal to get--he thought about getting a tyrannosaurus rex, but decided that a t-rex would not make a good pet, and would probably eat him for dinner. Then he considered a mastadon, but the mastadon was too big to fit into the cave. He bought a cage thinking he might get a birdasaur (early man did not realize that birdasaurs were evil), but the dinosaur birds of the era were too big for the cage. Then he thought about a saber tooth tiger, but cats were too picky about their food for Fred's taste! Finally, he found a wolfasaur, and the wolfasaur became a perfect pet, and as time went on, evolved into a dog. Of course, we dogs are the ones in charge, but we let the humans think we are their pets. It keeps them happy--it takes so little to keep the humans happy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Beginning of Men's Alliance With Pets)

Royal Yacht

Since the British tax payers do not want to pay for a new yacht for Queen Elizabeth that would cost $92 million, I have some ideas for the Queen to help her pay for the new yacht. I have offered her a job mowing my yard. I think I could find other odd jobs around here for her to do. However, my family does not have $92 million dollars so she might have to take on some tasks for other humans. Personally, I do not think the Queen really needs a new yacht. In fact, everytime I see her in photo shoots, she does not really look that happy. I think the Queen needs some time for fun--and not that royal type fun that looks annoying. I'm talking about real fun--like us dogs like to enjoy. Perhaps romping around the yard, and smelling some good smells. That makes me happy, and it does not cost $92 million dollars. In fact, both activities are free. I hope the Queen Lady finds some things to do that make her happy. I bet her dogs could teach her a bunch of fun things to do! Hey, I just thought of a great way for her to make extra money.....has she considered wearing a Walmart tshirt and having Walmart pay her to do so.....I bet that would make Walmart look a lot classier, and God knows they need help in that area if you have ever been to peopleofwalmart.com

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Fun Activities)

Collectible and Greeting Cards

I have noticed that some humans collect cards of varying sports and other of their interests. Yet I have not noticed any dog cards on the market. Personally, I would think that all the humans would want to collect Demon Flash Bandit cards. I have looked at the baseball cards and football cards, and I think my cards would be far more rewarding to collect. There could be cards depicting me eating, sleeping, chewing on a dingo bone, etc. The possibilities are endless. I know it I were a human, I would never be able to get enough Demon Flash Bandit cards.

Humans also send greeting cards to each other, and I am also wondering why there are no Demon Flash Bandit greeting cards. They have them for Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy. I think I should have my own line of greeting cards. I can't think of a better way for a human to say happy birthday to another human than with my face on the front of a card. Just seeing my handsome face would make the humans happy. For example, a congratulations to a graduate card would make that graduate know that they have done well if my face is on the card.

I am going to have to discuss this concept with my humans because most good ideas around here come from one of us dogs. Humans have those little human size brains that just aren't good at thinking outside the doghouse.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Cards)