The humans have insinuated that I am grouchy today. In fact, they haven't just insinuated it, they have actually come right out and said it to me. I feel that my grouchiness is justified (kind of like the television program, Justified, where the leading character gets to kill someone in every expisode, but the killing is justified so it is okay). Most of my grouchiness is directed at Angel Zoom Smokey, and if you had to live with her, you would be grouchy too. She is always eating my food, taking my toys, sleeping where I want to sleep and breathing my air. I think the humans have spoiled her by letting her think that she is supposed to get food and toys just like me, but I have told her repeatedly that all food and toys in the house are MINE, MINE, MINE!!! You would think that she would understand that I run things around here--not the silly humans. Anyway, they have even referred to me as Oscar like Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street. I don't think this is a fair reference since Angel Zoom Smokey is the problem. I might add that Oscar is wrong to be grouchy. He gets to live in a garbage can with the garbage. He should be the happiest creature on Earth. Any dog would be proud to hang out in a garbage can! In fact, in one episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Frank and Charlie were hanging out in dumpsters because they found so many treasures in them so even some of the humans appreciate garbage.
Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Grouch)