Talkeetna Alaska Needs Dog Mayor--Not Stubbs the Cat

There is a town in Alaska that has a cat as the mayor. Talkeetna, which I think was the town in the movie Snow Dogs, has a cat named Stubbs as the mayor. Normally I would not mind a cat being the town's mayor except that this town is in Alaska, and as such, should have a dog as a mayor--preferably a Siberian Husky or an Alaskan Malamute. It is an insult to us sled dogs that a town that can use sled dogs has a cat running it. I have nothing against cats, but dogs do not like to be told what to do by a cat. It just is not natural for a cat to tell a dog what to do. If a cat wants to be the mayor of some town in California, I can see that, but you also don't see dogs pulling sleds in Los Angeles--at least not over snow and tundra. I think the people of Talkeetna need to have a recall and make sure a dog is put in as mayor. I would volunteer for the postition myself, but I am already running for President. Besides, I can't imagine my humans ever moving with me to Alaska. My Mommy complains about winter here in Michigan.

Demon Flash Bandit (Alaska Town Needs Dog Mayor)

Movie Review: Big Miracle

It is time to give a movie review of Big Miracle. This movie starred Drew Barrymore, and John Krasinski (from "The Office"). This movie takes place in a small town in northern Alaska. Three gray whales get trapped by ice and can't get to the open sea due to the ice. A reporter who was in the town from Anchorage broke the story which captured the imagination of people all over the world. A lot of effort and money was spent to try to help the whales get to open sea. This dog wondered why they didn't just get the whales some scuba gear, but evidently, the humans didn't think of that. There were even a couple of teams of sled dogs in the film, and one very beautiful black and white dog with blue eyes (it was not me). I want that dog on a poster in my room-unless it is a male, and then, this sentence was never written. It was an excellent movie. I loved looking at all the ice and snow, and I think the people and dogs who live there are super lucky. Of course, my humans do not share my love of ice and snow, but I am a Siberian Husky and that is what we like. I was disappointed that the whales were not listed in the credits because, in my opinion, they were the actual stars of the movie. It would also have been nice if they had listed the dogs in the credits too. I would like to write a fan letter to that one dog. Anyway, I give the movie 4 paws up, a hyper wagging tail, kisses, and a kiss that knocks down the humans. This would be a 9 out of 10 on the human movie rating system, which is you ask me, makes so little sense. The dog rating system is superior, but then again, dogs are superior to the humans in every way!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: Big Miracle)

Birds Must Be Stopped!!!!

I just read that humans (probably scientists) have concluded that there is no Loch Ness monster. I can only assume that "Nessie" was on vacation when they looked for her. For those who read my recent blog, Sea Monster in Alaska, written on July 20, 2011, I blogged about the sea monster that has been spotted in Bristol Bay, Alaska. My theory talks about the possibility of Nessie being in Alaska on vacation. Most of the humans enjoy vacations. Do they not think a sea monster wants to get away from time to time? I love to take vacations myself so I think it is something that is very common for everyone in the animal, sea monster kingdoms. Pay no attention to the "news" you read on the Internet unless it is written by Demon Flash Bandit, because I am the only one who reports the real news.

Now for some sobering news that I hate to have to write about, but it needs to be said. Some of the humans in the United States and its allies have been worried about terrorist attacks. Normally, I don't cover news of this sort since basically, I think most humans are good, and I like to concentrate more on the good things in the world. However, since I do speak fluent bird, and birds are evil, I feel it is important for me to keep the world aware of their treachery. The birds are now fortifying their birdseed with plutonium, and those white bombs they drop are going to become far more deadly than they already are. I feel it is my duty to warn all dogs and humans to be on the lookout for birds and their evil bird bombs of poop. I personally plan to do my best to stop the birds and thwart their evil plans. I would suggest that other dogs follow my lead and fire up the grill and cook these little monsters before they can take over the world. In fact, I suspect that is where the fire breathing dragons in the past came from--birds that ate stuff that would turn their breath into a weapon. I only hope that my warnings have alerted enough people so that the birds can be stopped. Their singing fools so many of the humans who think they are harmless little songbirds instead of evil creatures with an agenda to take over the planet.

Demon Flash Bandit (Birds Must Be Stopped)

Sea Monster in Alaska!

As a dog who enjoys a colder climate, I think Alaska is one of the few places in the United States that is an utter paradise for a Siberian Husky like myself. However, today I discovered that there is possibly a sea monster at Bristol Bay in Alaska. The sea monster is named Cadgorosaurus Willsi or nicknamed Caddy. There are videos of the sea monster, and he could be a relative of the Loch Ness monster, or maybe he is the Loch Ness monster vacationing in Alaska. If so, I wonder how he travels to Alaska.....does he take a cruise ship, does he fly, or does he swim? I wonder if he books the trip through a travel agency or takes his chances and does it himself. Does he return to the same place every year like the salmon and penguins or does he like to travel to different locations? I wish I could answer these questions for my readers, but despite my superior dog intelligence, I do not know. Yeah, I know it is hard to believe that there are facts that a genius dog such as myself does not know, but there is a first time for everything.

There is one thing that does concern me. I would like to meet Caddy one day, but being in Alaska can be dangerous because Sarah Palin lives there and she likes to shoot at anything that moves so I am concerned that Caddy might be in danger. Imagine how awful it would be if he were hanging on her wall as a decoration before I get the chance to meet him. I am hoping that he visits Alaska or, if he lives there, only hangs out when she isn't there. Having her there is just too dangerous for a sea monster.

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Caddy)

Email, Silly Hats, and Burger King

I have a few comments on the news that I feel are important. Sarah Palin's email correspondences while she was governor of Alaska have been released, and the amazing thing that has the Internet buzzing is that she can read and write. I know.... I was as shocked as everyone else!

The new Princess is going to get the silly hat award. How can she wear those Dog-awful hats and not cause everyone around her to crack up laughing is beyond me. Of course, I don't live in Great Britain, and I think they have a "don't make fun of the royal family's silly hats" law there. I suppose no one wants to risk their life to let her know that her hats look stupid. I suppose it is a lot like the story of the Emperor's New Clothes. Maybe one day she will get lucky and someone will finally tell her to lose the stupid hat. On St. Patrick's Day, my stunt double, Phantom Fast Snowman (you can purchase Phantom products from http://www.,silverscreenhub.com/) wore a hat that looked like a giant beer mug, and he still looked less silly than Kate. I would suggest that if she must wear a hat, get a free one at Burger King. At least BK hats look good.

I have some bad news about Burger King today. Mommy bought me Burger King yesterday at the Howell, MI Burger King. Mommy ordered my usual stacker's without cheese and sauce, and they had a new employee who refused to "allow" Mommy to buy stackers. The employee insisted they were hamburgers with bacon. What does the moron thing stackers are? They are hamburgers with bacon, cheese, and sauce. However, they are more expensive if they are ordered as hamburgers with bacon added, and then they messed up the amount of bacon I was supposed to get. Mommy may never order me BK again. What is a dog to do? Do I have to complain to the corporation myself? Mommy actually referred to letting the corporation know as a waste of time! Why do companies hire employees who think they should tell the customers what to do? Don't they know customers don't like to be argued with? Normally, I don't get upset over customer service issues until they affect a dog and his dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit (Burger King In Trouble)

I Would Prefer Guests Not Be Alligators or Snakes

Because I am a sled dog, I love a lot of snow during the winter. As I have mentioned in past entries, my human Mommy does not share that love of snow and winter. In fact, I have overheard her talking about moving to Florida so that she won't have to deal with snow and ice in the future. Of course, I have been doing everything I can to persuade her to quit thinking about moving. I think things are wonderful here in Michigan, and the only move that should even be considered would be to an even colder place--like Alaska. Today I found a news article from Florida that I had to make sure Mommy would see. I think this news item might make snow look a lot better to her.

The story is from Palmetto, Florida. Alexis Dunbar returned to her home to find an alligator occupying the guest bedroom. It is assumed that the alligator crawled into the house from the pond in the back yard and entered the house through the doggy door. I think the alligator did show that he was very polite because he could have stayed in the master bedroom, but he was polite enough to go to the guest bedroom which tends to be the smaller of the two rooms. Although he was a polite guest, I do understand that I would not want an alligator in my house either. They do have some big teeth, and they might decide to eat the host or the host's dog. I'm hoping that this news article will make Mommy realize that it is better to wake up to snow on the ground outside than to an alligator in your bedroom. Florida also has a lot of poisonous snakes, and if an alligator can get inside your house, it would be even easier for a snake to get in. I think snow will start looking better and better to Mommy, but it is hard to tell. As all us dogs know, humans aren't always as smart or practical as we are.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Alligators and Snakes)