I'm sorry I haven't written in a couple of days. When you have to depend on the humans to do your typing for you, it is only natural that they will, on occasion, not get things done. I guess if I want to make sure that the blog is written each and EVERY day, I will have to start typing it with my own 4 paws.
In my blog written on Friday, June 22,2012, I did a movie review of the movie Prometheus. I have found a parody which explains why so many of the scientists kept doing such stupid things. I just assumed it is because they were humans, but this video explains why they were taught to do such stupid things. Here is the link:
http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/rorschachsrants/news/?a=62296
If you have already seen the movie, the parody will explain a lot, and if you haven't seen the movie yet, I think you will enjoy the parody anyway. I hope all my readers are having cooler weather than we are having around here. It is way too hot for my taste here today!
Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Video Parody)
Showing posts with label scientists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scientists. Show all posts
Friday, June 29, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Dogs: More Talented Than Humans!
An article on aol news today says that scientists have found flutes made from bones that date back 40,000 years. The article states that it shows that humans created a musical instrument farther back than previously thought. For those who want to read the article, here is the link:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/bone-flute-music-instruments_n_1544417.html?ref=science
As a dog, I find this article to be highly annoying. First, why did they assume it was a human who made the instrument? Bones are something us dogs spend a lot of time working with, and I think if anyone created a musical instrument from a bone, it would be a dog. As the lead howler of the Howling Huskies, I am insulted that the scientists would automatically assume it is a human who made it. I think a dog made a flute from a bone, and after putting on a show for the other dogs, he sat down and ate the flute. That is what any dog would do with a bone. You can always make another flute from the next bird you kill, and killing birds is something dogs enjoy doing. I suspect that if a human ever played it, he probably stole it from the dogs. In fact, I doubt that he played it as well. Humans never do anything as well as us dogs. The next time you read about some archeaological discovery, remember that, no matter what the scientists say, if it is something intelligent, it was invented by a dog!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs: Smarter than Humans)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/bone-flute-music-instruments_n_1544417.html?ref=science
As a dog, I find this article to be highly annoying. First, why did they assume it was a human who made the instrument? Bones are something us dogs spend a lot of time working with, and I think if anyone created a musical instrument from a bone, it would be a dog. As the lead howler of the Howling Huskies, I am insulted that the scientists would automatically assume it is a human who made it. I think a dog made a flute from a bone, and after putting on a show for the other dogs, he sat down and ate the flute. That is what any dog would do with a bone. You can always make another flute from the next bird you kill, and killing birds is something dogs enjoy doing. I suspect that if a human ever played it, he probably stole it from the dogs. In fact, I doubt that he played it as well. Humans never do anything as well as us dogs. The next time you read about some archeaological discovery, remember that, no matter what the scientists say, if it is something intelligent, it was invented by a dog!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs: Smarter than Humans)
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Birds Part in Evolution
Some scientists say that birds evolved from dinosaurs. On the other paw, some of the humans think evolution did not happen and some don't think dinosaurs ever existed. I can only imagine life without birds which would be a utopia. However, since birds do exist, if evolution is correct, then birds are some kind of evil hell spawn, and should be killed. I am ready to do my part to rid the world of the evil birds. I just wish the humans would quit helping them by feeding them. The humans should listen to us dogs when we tell them that birds are evil!
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Birds)
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Birds)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Metric System Too Logical For Humans!
How many of my readers are aware that standard measurements are not the same all over the world? I had to go to the store the other day to get some vodka for my stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman, and the bottles were not in ounces, pints, quarts, or gallons, but in something called liters. I didn't buy them because how is a dog supposed to know how much he is getting for his money when they aren't measured properly? Sure, this upset Phantom, but I had to tell Phantom that some things are more important than his alcoholism. Sometimes a dog has to take a stand, and not buy things that aren't properly marked. I know that the United States is only one country, but it is a country that is powerful, and happens to be full of humans who do not like to learn new things. I have to agree with the humans here. I have been told that back in the 70's, the government tried to make the people here convert to the metric system. I could have told them that it would never happen. The "metric system" which is used by the rest of the world and some scientists and doctors is a stupid system. In case you are wondering why it is stupid, it is logical. Humans are the least logical species on the planet so it is insane to think that their system of measurement should be logical. Besides, there is that cute children's song called Inchworm. This is an important song for children learning how to multiply. It is not a meterworm, it is an inchworm which means that even nature prefers the system of measure used in the United States. I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. If other parts of the world want to be backward and use a "logical system", that is their problem but this U.S. dog will continue to buy only things measured in good old fashioned measurements. If you expect me to change, you will have to pry that yardstick out of my cold, dead paws!
Demon Flash Bandit (Perfers USA's System of Measurement)
Demon Flash Bandit (Perfers USA's System of Measurement)
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
One of My Dog Friends Has a Website!!!!!
One of my doggy pals is a business dog who owns a webstore that I want to share with my readers. The address is:
http://www.apawfectdog.com/ In fact, it is a great site to visit because there is more to it than just a store. Be sure and stop in and visit. By the way, Destiny has a dog partner named Chance. If you are a dog reading this, I'm sure you would love to try some of the treats. You know that a business is run well when it is owned by a dog. The humans just don't have the dog sense to run a business properly.
I checked over the news today, and I was one angry dog!!! I have written a couple of blogs in the last week explaining how birds have caused all the earthquakes and hurricanes. I stopped by www.msn.com today and discovered that human "scientists" have given reasons for the weather that encompass everything but the real cause which is birds. I don't know whether scientists have been paid off by birds, if the scientists are birds in disguise (I really doubt that birds are smart enough to get by without being caught), or if the scientists are just stupid. Since they are human, it would not surprise me if they are stupid. I want to know what the doggy scientists have to say because I'm sure that they will agree with me and say that birds are at fault. I hope the planet survives because the humans are so easy for the birds to fool!
Demon Flash Bandit (Upset Over "Weather" News)
http://www.apawfectdog.com/ In fact, it is a great site to visit because there is more to it than just a store. Be sure and stop in and visit. By the way, Destiny has a dog partner named Chance. If you are a dog reading this, I'm sure you would love to try some of the treats. You know that a business is run well when it is owned by a dog. The humans just don't have the dog sense to run a business properly.
I checked over the news today, and I was one angry dog!!! I have written a couple of blogs in the last week explaining how birds have caused all the earthquakes and hurricanes. I stopped by www.msn.com today and discovered that human "scientists" have given reasons for the weather that encompass everything but the real cause which is birds. I don't know whether scientists have been paid off by birds, if the scientists are birds in disguise (I really doubt that birds are smart enough to get by without being caught), or if the scientists are just stupid. Since they are human, it would not surprise me if they are stupid. I want to know what the doggy scientists have to say because I'm sure that they will agree with me and say that birds are at fault. I hope the planet survives because the humans are so easy for the birds to fool!
Demon Flash Bandit (Upset Over "Weather" News)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Earthquake Caused By Birds!
An earthquake shook the eastern part of the United States yesterday. I read what the geologists had to say about it. It was a bunch of silly dribble about fault lines which I suspect are called fault lines so the humans will have something on which to blame the earthquake.
Regular Humans:Why did the earthquake happen?
Scientist Human: That line was at fault so we are calling it a "fault line".
It takes a dog to find the real answers which I am going to share in my blog today. The thing that caused the earthquake was the enemy that I am constantly warning about in my blog: BIRDS. Yes, you read correctly. Birds are evil creatures that are trying to take over the planet. Before you say, Demon Flash Bandit, how is this possible, I will explain. There are some species of birds that burrow under the Earth. Among these are puffins, kingfishers, and bee-eaters. These birds got together and decided to stage an all out attack by burrowing together. Thus, they made the Earth move and caused some damage to the Washington Monument in the process. This was a deliberate attack on Washington DC and our memorials. How many times does a dog have to warn the humans about the evil birds before they are eradicated? Some of the humans have some stupid conspriacy ideas to try to explain the earthquakes, but none of them have found the real answer--birds. I hope that this blog wakes the humans up to the treachery of the birds. By the way, if the humans ever listen and decide to eradicate the birds, I hope they will also get rid of their cousins, the fleas. Fleas have no use and should not exist. I've discussed this subject with dogs all over the world and all us dogs hate them. Even the humans aren't fond of them so you know they are really bad. I hope that the birds can be stopped before they take over the planet.
Demon Flash Bandit (Evil Birds Cause Earthquake)
Regular Humans:Why did the earthquake happen?
Scientist Human: That line was at fault so we are calling it a "fault line".
It takes a dog to find the real answers which I am going to share in my blog today. The thing that caused the earthquake was the enemy that I am constantly warning about in my blog: BIRDS. Yes, you read correctly. Birds are evil creatures that are trying to take over the planet. Before you say, Demon Flash Bandit, how is this possible, I will explain. There are some species of birds that burrow under the Earth. Among these are puffins, kingfishers, and bee-eaters. These birds got together and decided to stage an all out attack by burrowing together. Thus, they made the Earth move and caused some damage to the Washington Monument in the process. This was a deliberate attack on Washington DC and our memorials. How many times does a dog have to warn the humans about the evil birds before they are eradicated? Some of the humans have some stupid conspriacy ideas to try to explain the earthquakes, but none of them have found the real answer--birds. I hope that this blog wakes the humans up to the treachery of the birds. By the way, if the humans ever listen and decide to eradicate the birds, I hope they will also get rid of their cousins, the fleas. Fleas have no use and should not exist. I've discussed this subject with dogs all over the world and all us dogs hate them. Even the humans aren't fond of them so you know they are really bad. I hope that the birds can be stopped before they take over the planet.
Demon Flash Bandit (Evil Birds Cause Earthquake)
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Birds Must Be Stopped!!!!
I just read that humans (probably scientists) have concluded that there is no Loch Ness monster. I can only assume that "Nessie" was on vacation when they looked for her. For those who read my recent blog, Sea Monster in Alaska, written on July 20, 2011, I blogged about the sea monster that has been spotted in Bristol Bay, Alaska. My theory talks about the possibility of Nessie being in Alaska on vacation. Most of the humans enjoy vacations. Do they not think a sea monster wants to get away from time to time? I love to take vacations myself so I think it is something that is very common for everyone in the animal, sea monster kingdoms. Pay no attention to the "news" you read on the Internet unless it is written by Demon Flash Bandit, because I am the only one who reports the real news.
Now for some sobering news that I hate to have to write about, but it needs to be said. Some of the humans in the United States and its allies have been worried about terrorist attacks. Normally, I don't cover news of this sort since basically, I think most humans are good, and I like to concentrate more on the good things in the world. However, since I do speak fluent bird, and birds are evil, I feel it is important for me to keep the world aware of their treachery. The birds are now fortifying their birdseed with plutonium, and those white bombs they drop are going to become far more deadly than they already are. I feel it is my duty to warn all dogs and humans to be on the lookout for birds and their evil bird bombs of poop. I personally plan to do my best to stop the birds and thwart their evil plans. I would suggest that other dogs follow my lead and fire up the grill and cook these little monsters before they can take over the world. In fact, I suspect that is where the fire breathing dragons in the past came from--birds that ate stuff that would turn their breath into a weapon. I only hope that my warnings have alerted enough people so that the birds can be stopped. Their singing fools so many of the humans who think they are harmless little songbirds instead of evil creatures with an agenda to take over the planet.
Demon Flash Bandit (Birds Must Be Stopped)
Now for some sobering news that I hate to have to write about, but it needs to be said. Some of the humans in the United States and its allies have been worried about terrorist attacks. Normally, I don't cover news of this sort since basically, I think most humans are good, and I like to concentrate more on the good things in the world. However, since I do speak fluent bird, and birds are evil, I feel it is important for me to keep the world aware of their treachery. The birds are now fortifying their birdseed with plutonium, and those white bombs they drop are going to become far more deadly than they already are. I feel it is my duty to warn all dogs and humans to be on the lookout for birds and their evil bird bombs of poop. I personally plan to do my best to stop the birds and thwart their evil plans. I would suggest that other dogs follow my lead and fire up the grill and cook these little monsters before they can take over the world. In fact, I suspect that is where the fire breathing dragons in the past came from--birds that ate stuff that would turn their breath into a weapon. I only hope that my warnings have alerted enough people so that the birds can be stopped. Their singing fools so many of the humans who think they are harmless little songbirds instead of evil creatures with an agenda to take over the planet.
Demon Flash Bandit (Birds Must Be Stopped)
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