Birds Must Be Stopped!!!!

I just read that humans (probably scientists) have concluded that there is no Loch Ness monster. I can only assume that "Nessie" was on vacation when they looked for her. For those who read my recent blog, Sea Monster in Alaska, written on July 20, 2011, I blogged about the sea monster that has been spotted in Bristol Bay, Alaska. My theory talks about the possibility of Nessie being in Alaska on vacation. Most of the humans enjoy vacations. Do they not think a sea monster wants to get away from time to time? I love to take vacations myself so I think it is something that is very common for everyone in the animal, sea monster kingdoms. Pay no attention to the "news" you read on the Internet unless it is written by Demon Flash Bandit, because I am the only one who reports the real news.

Now for some sobering news that I hate to have to write about, but it needs to be said. Some of the humans in the United States and its allies have been worried about terrorist attacks. Normally, I don't cover news of this sort since basically, I think most humans are good, and I like to concentrate more on the good things in the world. However, since I do speak fluent bird, and birds are evil, I feel it is important for me to keep the world aware of their treachery. The birds are now fortifying their birdseed with plutonium, and those white bombs they drop are going to become far more deadly than they already are. I feel it is my duty to warn all dogs and humans to be on the lookout for birds and their evil bird bombs of poop. I personally plan to do my best to stop the birds and thwart their evil plans. I would suggest that other dogs follow my lead and fire up the grill and cook these little monsters before they can take over the world. In fact, I suspect that is where the fire breathing dragons in the past came from--birds that ate stuff that would turn their breath into a weapon. I only hope that my warnings have alerted enough people so that the birds can be stopped. Their singing fools so many of the humans who think they are harmless little songbirds instead of evil creatures with an agenda to take over the planet.

Demon Flash Bandit (Birds Must Be Stopped)

Sea Monster in Alaska!

As a dog who enjoys a colder climate, I think Alaska is one of the few places in the United States that is an utter paradise for a Siberian Husky like myself. However, today I discovered that there is possibly a sea monster at Bristol Bay in Alaska. The sea monster is named Cadgorosaurus Willsi or nicknamed Caddy. There are videos of the sea monster, and he could be a relative of the Loch Ness monster, or maybe he is the Loch Ness monster vacationing in Alaska. If so, I wonder how he travels to Alaska.....does he take a cruise ship, does he fly, or does he swim? I wonder if he books the trip through a travel agency or takes his chances and does it himself. Does he return to the same place every year like the salmon and penguins or does he like to travel to different locations? I wish I could answer these questions for my readers, but despite my superior dog intelligence, I do not know. Yeah, I know it is hard to believe that there are facts that a genius dog such as myself does not know, but there is a first time for everything.

There is one thing that does concern me. I would like to meet Caddy one day, but being in Alaska can be dangerous because Sarah Palin lives there and she likes to shoot at anything that moves so I am concerned that Caddy might be in danger. Imagine how awful it would be if he were hanging on her wall as a decoration before I get the chance to meet him. I am hoping that he visits Alaska or, if he lives there, only hangs out when she isn't there. Having her there is just too dangerous for a sea monster.

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Caddy)