Demon Flash Bandit: Royal Hat Maker

It is one of those days when there isn't much to write about so I decided that it would be a good day to put my paws to work on something creative. I decided to make a hat that would be worthy of being worn by one of the British royal family. Okay, I admit, I chose them because, judging from all the silly hats they wear, they can't be hard to please when it comes to hats. I just hope my hat isn't too elegant for them. I started with a big box of Milkbones. Keep in mind, you do need the big box, and it isn't just so you can eat more milkbones although that is a bonus. You want a nice size hat that the other humans will be able to see-preferably from space. Cut a round, head size hole on one side of the milkbone box. This is how the human will put it on their head. You know it has to be a human wearing it...a dog would not wear a hat that is so silly! The hat needs to have milkbones "glued" all over it. This is best accomplished with peanutbutter. The peanutbutter will hold them on and when you decide to eat them, they will taste even better with the added peanutbutter. A plush squeaky toy should be "glued" to the top of the hat-again with peanutbutter. You can never use too much peanutbutter--ask any dog about that, and you will get the same answer. You can add other things too--like dingo bones, rawhide bones, etc. It is entirely up to the individual. This hat is not only silly, but it also serves a purpose which is more than I can say for most of the silly hats the royal family usually wears. The hat will be useful if you get hungry, bored, or just want something on which to chew. I just finished mine, and it is lovely. I know the royal family would pay me a zillion dollars for such a materpiece, but I think I'll keep it. I don't plan to wear it, but it looks delicious!

Demon Flash Bandit (Making Hats Fit for Royalty)

Email, Silly Hats, and Burger King

I have a few comments on the news that I feel are important. Sarah Palin's email correspondences while she was governor of Alaska have been released, and the amazing thing that has the Internet buzzing is that she can read and write. I know.... I was as shocked as everyone else!

The new Princess is going to get the silly hat award. How can she wear those Dog-awful hats and not cause everyone around her to crack up laughing is beyond me. Of course, I don't live in Great Britain, and I think they have a "don't make fun of the royal family's silly hats" law there. I suppose no one wants to risk their life to let her know that her hats look stupid. I suppose it is a lot like the story of the Emperor's New Clothes. Maybe one day she will get lucky and someone will finally tell her to lose the stupid hat. On St. Patrick's Day, my stunt double, Phantom Fast Snowman (you can purchase Phantom products from http://www.,silverscreenhub.com/) wore a hat that looked like a giant beer mug, and he still looked less silly than Kate. I would suggest that if she must wear a hat, get a free one at Burger King. At least BK hats look good.

I have some bad news about Burger King today. Mommy bought me Burger King yesterday at the Howell, MI Burger King. Mommy ordered my usual stacker's without cheese and sauce, and they had a new employee who refused to "allow" Mommy to buy stackers. The employee insisted they were hamburgers with bacon. What does the moron thing stackers are? They are hamburgers with bacon, cheese, and sauce. However, they are more expensive if they are ordered as hamburgers with bacon added, and then they messed up the amount of bacon I was supposed to get. Mommy may never order me BK again. What is a dog to do? Do I have to complain to the corporation myself? Mommy actually referred to letting the corporation know as a waste of time! Why do companies hire employees who think they should tell the customers what to do? Don't they know customers don't like to be argued with? Normally, I don't get upset over customer service issues until they affect a dog and his dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit (Burger King In Trouble)