Once upon a time, there lived a count whose name was Dogula. Dogula was a dogpire which means that he was one of the undead--a dog who would live forever. The only catch was that he could not go out in sunlight, and he could not eat garlic which was okay because he wasn't big on garlic anyway. Dogpires live by sucking the blood out of birds so they are good creatures because they rid the world of evil birds--and all birds are evil. Dogula lived in a castle, and the humans and dogs in the village were all very proud of him for ridding their area of evil birds. Dogula enjoyed a good bone, and he was always watching out for his neighbors. One day, the castle was attacked by a rival country--filled with birds. Dogula managed to win the battle, and there was peace and happiness in his kingdom from that time until now. Dogula was truly a good dog and a great leader!!!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dogula--Good Dog)
Showing posts with label neighbors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label neighbors. Show all posts
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Royal Couple Can't Dress Themselves?
Once again, I have received a letter from my pal, the Queen of England. As usual, she is writing to me because she knows I understand her problems with her family. I have decided to share the letter so we can all see how tough life is for the Queen.
Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
Now that the royal wedding is over, I was hoping to settle down and have the chance to relax. I hoped that my grandson and his new wife would settle in happily at their new home. However, you can imagine my embarrassment to find that they are now planning to hire a housekeeper and a dresser. I realize that a housekeeper might be necessary, but can you imagine how hard it is for a mother to admit that her descendants don't have enough sense to dress themselves? I can only imagine what the neighbors are saying......"I see the kids can't dress themselves.....we knew those kids were idiots from the time they were toddlers". I am hoping that the kids will learn how to dress themselves so that I can hold my head up high once again. Thanks for your encouragement, Demon Flash Bandit. I don't know what I would do without the wise counsel of an intelligent dog such as yourself.
Love, The Queen Lady
As you can see, being the Queen is not easy. There is another person in the news who is having a rough time with the media at the moment. That man is Congressman Weiner, and he is involved in something called Weinergate. I thought it might be an interesting story involving hot dogs, which are quite tasty, but it turns out it is stupid.....like most human news. That is why I haven't bothered to write much about it. I would rather concentrate on important stories. For example, there was an ad for Bit o Luv treats, which I happen to love. When my humans went to the store, the treats never arrived. This should be front page news. When a dog's favorite treats aren't available, something needs to be done. However, the media is so busy discussing Weinergate, the story of the lack of Bit o Luvs did not get covered. This is what happens when humans are allowed to run things. They have no ability to priotitize!
I hope all my readers stay cool. It has been too hot here.
Demon Flash Bandit (Royal Couple Can't Dress Themselves)
Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
Now that the royal wedding is over, I was hoping to settle down and have the chance to relax. I hoped that my grandson and his new wife would settle in happily at their new home. However, you can imagine my embarrassment to find that they are now planning to hire a housekeeper and a dresser. I realize that a housekeeper might be necessary, but can you imagine how hard it is for a mother to admit that her descendants don't have enough sense to dress themselves? I can only imagine what the neighbors are saying......"I see the kids can't dress themselves.....we knew those kids were idiots from the time they were toddlers". I am hoping that the kids will learn how to dress themselves so that I can hold my head up high once again. Thanks for your encouragement, Demon Flash Bandit. I don't know what I would do without the wise counsel of an intelligent dog such as yourself.
Love, The Queen Lady
As you can see, being the Queen is not easy. There is another person in the news who is having a rough time with the media at the moment. That man is Congressman Weiner, and he is involved in something called Weinergate. I thought it might be an interesting story involving hot dogs, which are quite tasty, but it turns out it is stupid.....like most human news. That is why I haven't bothered to write much about it. I would rather concentrate on important stories. For example, there was an ad for Bit o Luv treats, which I happen to love. When my humans went to the store, the treats never arrived. This should be front page news. When a dog's favorite treats aren't available, something needs to be done. However, the media is so busy discussing Weinergate, the story of the lack of Bit o Luvs did not get covered. This is what happens when humans are allowed to run things. They have no ability to priotitize!
I hope all my readers stay cool. It has been too hot here.
Demon Flash Bandit (Royal Couple Can't Dress Themselves)
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