Why No Demon Flash Bandit Action Figure?

I have good news to announce today. After my previous blog about my bad experience with my favorite burger; Burger King, I am pleased to say that I tried a McDonalds burger yesterday. It was good. Up until now, I wouldn't even try McDonalds burgers, but if you get a dog annoyed enough, a dog will try new things. It is sad that Burger King did not appreciate my business (and I feel this was directly related to me being a dog), they do not deserve my future business so it is nice that I have other restaurants that appreciate me. Some McDonalds even give out dog biscuits to dogs who are in the car at drivethru.

I know I haven't written much about Weinergate largely because it is just too easy to have fun with that one. The whole story is like a big lottery win to people who make their living through comedy. However, today I saw a related story that I had to write about. Now you can buy a Weiner action figure. Yes, I'm not joking. For a mere $39.95, you can have your own Representative Weiner doll. For an extra $10.00, you can get the adult version complete with the anatomically correct item that caused Weinergate to make it onto the news. Personally, I would spend the extra $10. since, without that, Weinergate would not be Weinergate. It would not even be in the news. I would also suggest you not wait around to order since there was so much interest in the doll that it crashed the website. The only think I want to know is that why is there no Demon Flash Bandit action figure. I'm going to have to ask my humans about this since a world famous blogging dog such as myself should have an action figure made in my honor.

Demon Flash Bandit (Why No Demon Flash Bandit Action Figure?)

Royal Couple Can't Dress Themselves?

Once again, I have received a letter from my pal, the Queen of England. As usual, she is writing to me because she knows I understand her problems with her family. I have decided to share the letter so we can all see how tough life is for the Queen.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
Now that the royal wedding is over, I was hoping to settle down and have the chance to relax. I hoped that my grandson and his new wife would settle in happily at their new home. However, you can imagine my embarrassment to find that they are now planning to hire a housekeeper and a dresser. I realize that a housekeeper might be necessary, but can you imagine how hard it is for a mother to admit that her descendants don't have enough sense to dress themselves? I can only imagine what the neighbors are saying......"I see the kids can't dress themselves.....we knew those kids were idiots from the time they were toddlers". I am hoping that the kids will learn how to dress themselves so that I can hold my head up high once again. Thanks for your encouragement, Demon Flash Bandit. I don't know what I would do without the wise counsel of an intelligent dog such as yourself.

Love, The Queen Lady

As you can see, being the Queen is not easy. There is another person in the news who is having a rough time with the media at the moment. That man is Congressman Weiner, and he is involved in something called Weinergate. I thought it might be an interesting story involving hot dogs, which are quite tasty, but it turns out it is stupid.....like most human news. That is why I haven't bothered to write much about it. I would rather concentrate on important stories. For example, there was an ad for Bit o Luv treats, which I happen to love. When my humans went to the store, the treats never arrived. This should be front page news. When a dog's favorite treats aren't available, something needs to be done. However, the media is so busy discussing Weinergate, the story of the lack of Bit o Luvs did not get covered. This is what happens when humans are allowed to run things. They have no ability to priotitize!

I hope all my readers stay cool. It has been too hot here.

Demon Flash Bandit (Royal Couple Can't Dress Themselves)