Will Honey Boo Boo Be President?

The recent Republican Convention was not watched by as many people as the television show, Honey Boo Boo. I guess this means that Honey Boo Boo would garner more votes than Romney if she gets her name on the ballot. I find this humorous since I am running for President, and neither party seems to be taking me seriously. I am not even being protected by secret service agents. When you don't take a dog's run seriously, you end up with stupid humans running things! Sadly, Honey Boo Boo is another human and I doubt that she will do a better job than the other humans running. Perhaps if Honey Boo Boo were a bear, there would be hope. However, if this dog votes for a bear, my vote would go to Yogi Bear. After all, he is smarter than the average bear!

Demon Flash Bandit (Presidential Candidate)

Television Programming For Dogs

After watching another season of Dexter, the serial killer who only kills evil people, I have decided that if Showtime wants a dog to watch a show like Dexter, they should offer one with a serial killer who kills birds. I would pay for a premium channel to see that. Also, I have some pals who feel the same way about squirrels, mice, and other assorted small animals. I think it is ridiculous that the networks do not schedule any programming for dogs. I can guarantee that dogs are not part of the Neilson families--at least not the part that get to vote. This is wrong since we dogs watch more television than many of the humans. We also have access to more money. Sure, we may not go to the store, and buy stuff for ourselves, but we send our humans to get it for us which means that we influence many of the purchasing decisions in our households. If the networks don't want to listen, there isn't much that can be done except to start our own network... DOG...look for us. Our programs will be better than on the humans networks.


Demon Flash Bandit ( We Need Television Shows for Dogs)

Vote Demon Flash Bandit for President!!!!!

As election time in the United States approaches in November, there are more and more campaign ads on television that annoy this dog. When I sit down to enjoy television, it is not to watch commercials--except for a few that I find entertaining. The political ones do not fall into the entertainment category. However, I thought it was just us dogs that got annoyed at the political process. Hank the Cat, who I have written about in the past, is still running for office and wanting to throw the humans out. I can't say that I disagree with the concept, but you do not want cats having too many seats in Congress. Remember, I, Demon Flash Bandit am running for President, and dogs are man's best frient so we will watch out for the humans' interest far more than a cat would. However, I have no problem with the humans for voting for Hank the Cat. At least Hank isn't a human so that is a step in the right direction. Here is more information about Hank the Cat.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/14/hank-the-cat-campaign-ad_n_1776307.html

Remember, if you want things done right, vote dog....vote Demon Flash Bandit for President. I think the Oval Office would be a cool place for me to chew on my dingo bones.
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Politics)

Dogs Are Not Into Bungee Jumping

The humans do a lot of stupid things. In my opinion, bungee jumping is one of them. I have never seen a dog do a bungee jump which is because we dogs have more sense than the humans. Most of the time, inanimate objects aren't into bungee jumping either. However, today I found that this is not always the case. I am going to share a video with my readers of a bungee jumping car. I know some cars like the "General Lee" on the Dukes of Hazzard television show like to jump a lot, but until today, I never saw one bungee jump. Here is the address:
http://www.autoblog.com/2011/10/25/next-up-for-the-chevy-sonic-bungee-jumping/

Personally, I have no plans to buy this kind of car because I don't want to be riding somewhere and have my car decide to start bungee jumping when I am in it. I have no desire to do any daredevil type stunts when I am out for a nice car ride. Some of the humans will buy it because many of them have no brains, but I'm hoping that they don't have dogs to take with them. If so, they are going to have one very unhappy dog in the car!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Bungee Jumping Dog)

The Nose Knows

Space archaeologists are supposed to have discovered lost pyramids in Egypt using infrared images that show buildings that are underground from satellite surveys. Leave it to the humans to spend a bunch of money and try to find stuff underground from space. A team of dogs could have found the lost pyramids from the ground with our super useful noses. We could probably have dug them up by the time the space archaeologists finished coming to their conclusions. Once again, this proves my point about dogs getting more done spending less money than the humans can ever match. Despite a dog's talent for getting things done at a cheaper price, the humans still think they can do a better job running the world. No wonder it is in such a mess!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Amazing Nose)

Goldie and the Three Dogs

Once upon a time there was a little blond human girl who was wandering through the forest. She was in the forest because she was such a brat that when she went out to play, her parents moved away. They had a mobile home so they took the home with them leaving her homeless.

Meanwhile a family of 3 super nice dogs decided to leave their house and go for a walk. Goldie (that was the girl's name) found the house and the let herself in. As I said, she never followed proper protocol--she didn't even knock. She was hungry and she saw some food on the table. She tried the first dish, and she thought it was too spicy. (It was the Daddy Dog's dinner.) Then she tried the second dish, and it was too plain. (It was the Mommy Dog's dinner.) Finally she tried the third dish, and it was just right so she ate all of it. (It was the Puppy's dinner.)

Then she decided to watch television. She watched the one in the living room which was the one the Daddy Dog liked to watch. It's volume was too loud. Then she tried the one in the master bedroom which the Mommy dog liked to watch, and she could barely hear it. Then she tried the one in the Puppy's bedroom and it was just right--so she loaded it on a cart to take with her.

Then she decided to take a nap. The Daddy Dog's Bed was too big. The Mommy Dog's bed was also too big, and the Puppy's bed was just right so she took a nap and then loaded it on the cart along with the television.

The dogs came home from their walk and they noticed that their stuff had been tampered with, and the Puppy was very upset because all his stuff was gone. The dogs called the police, and they found Goldie trying to pawn the Dog Family's stuff and now Goldie is serving a prison sentence for being a thief.

Finally, a good fairy tale told from the point of view of a family of dogs!

Demon Flash Bandit (Crime Does Not Pay)

My New Invention

I have an important announcement to make. When children go to Disney World or Disneyland, they can buy Mickey Mouse hats that have the mouse ears so that they can look like Mickey. My new invention is a small satellite that fits inside the ears of the hat so that a dog can pick up satellite television from the hats and it is free. This is why the fashion industry needs to make these hats an accessory that is a must have so that a dog can get free satellite television from the hats of the humans around him. It is necessary for others to wear the hat because if I had to buy my own hat, it would interfere with the concept of "free". Besides, I don't want to walk around looking silly--that is the humans' job. Once all the humans start wearing the hat and all the hats have my new invention installed in them, a dog can pick up free television anywhere he goes. Yes, I am so excited about my new invention. Now I will never miss my television programs again.

Demon Flash Bandit (Inventor)