Television Programming For Dogs

After watching another season of Dexter, the serial killer who only kills evil people, I have decided that if Showtime wants a dog to watch a show like Dexter, they should offer one with a serial killer who kills birds. I would pay for a premium channel to see that. Also, I have some pals who feel the same way about squirrels, mice, and other assorted small animals. I think it is ridiculous that the networks do not schedule any programming for dogs. I can guarantee that dogs are not part of the Neilson families--at least not the part that get to vote. This is wrong since we dogs watch more television than many of the humans. We also have access to more money. Sure, we may not go to the store, and buy stuff for ourselves, but we send our humans to get it for us which means that we influence many of the purchasing decisions in our households. If the networks don't want to listen, there isn't much that can be done except to start our own network... DOG...look for us. Our programs will be better than on the humans networks.


Demon Flash Bandit ( We Need Television Shows for Dogs)

I'm not Getting "Guzzied Up"

Yesterday I was listening to my humans, Mommy and Jeff having a conversation. Have you ever listened to the humans? They can be hilarious and they don't even mean to be funny. They were discussing things that might be around in the future. How did they get on the subject? I swear this is true....it was because of the television show, Dexter. Jeff said that Dexter could teach his baby, Harrison to become a serial killer, and Mommy said the show won't be on long enough because Harrison is a baby now, and Jeff said they could set the show in the future, and have flying cars and that sort of thing. Yes, I suspect that I probably have funnier humans than average. I have yet to have another dog tell me that their humans have these sorts of discussions. Anyway, Mommy then told Jeff that when she was in the second grade in 1962, they were promised "picture phones". It was an exciting concept at the time--at least for the children. Now they have picture phones, and Jeff said that he could see why they wouldn't be so popular since no one wants to get "guzzied up" to talk on the phone. Jeff was born and raised in Michigan, and Mommy is a southerner so it did her heart good to see that he had picked up one of the funnier southern descriptions. Now Mommy is trying to find more ways to use the term, "guzzied up" in everyday conversation. It reminded her of an episode of Blackadder, when the general liked the word, goobledygook, and decided to work it into conversations more often. I can see where this could become embarrassing. I do not want to be in the middle of Petsmart looking over the toy aisle, and have Mommy ask me if I want to go to the clothing section so I can get guzzied up for some stupid event she thinks up. I'm sure the dogs in Brighton, Michigan would laugh and call me a redneck dog. It isn't that I really care. I think rednecks and dogs probably think along the same lines on many things. For example, if a redneck wants to have 10 cars sitting up on blocks in their front yard, I have yet to meet a dog who would mind. Anyway, all of this over a discussion of whether they think Dexter will teach their son to be a serial killer or not. I'm not sure which of the humans got the idea of having a "nice serial killer" show, but it seems to be a popular show so I guess it was a good idea. I do think that Dexter and his family could use a dog so that they look like a more normal family. Families are supposed to have dogs or at least a cat.

I have to go now, and NOT get guzzied up for a nap. How the humans ever got put in charge is beyond me. Maybe they got guzzied up and were put in charge by a guzzied up human. No dog would have put them in charge. We know how silly the humans can be.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not Getting Guzzied Up)