Friday, December 26, 2014

Twas Christmas Eve in Dog's House

I got busy with the holidays, but this dog is back so I know my many loyal readers are thrilled.  I was going to share this poem on Christmas Eve so it is a little late, but I hope my readers will still find it enjoyable.

Twas Christmas Eve in  Dog's House

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
This dog got rid of vermin so there wasn't a mouse.
The stockings were yanked down from the chimney without care
They were filled with goodies and this dog wanted his share!

The puppies were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of rawhide bones danced in their heads.
When my human got tired and decided to nap
Which means this dog didn't get to sit on his lap.

When out on the lawn, there arose so much clatter
I got up from my bed and found me a bat so I could bat her
Away to the window I flew like the Flash (comic book super hero)
I opened it fast so their brains I could smash

This husky liked seeing the new fallen snow.
It reminded him that winter had some time to go
When what to my husky blue eyes did appear
But a sleigh with a fat guy pulled by tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver breaking all the speed laws
I knew in a moment it must be Santa Paws.
More rapid than a airplane, the reindeer they came
And he whisted and shouted and called them by name.

I'm not going to mention what he called the reindeer
There are a couple on the witness protection program is what I hear
Of course there was Rudolph leading the sleigh
He told me Santa needs him to show him the way.

As dry leaves before a wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle mount to the sky
As I turned my head, and was turning around
Down Santa Paws came with a bound.

He had lovely soft fur from his nose to his paws
And that fur was all covered with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back
He had toys for every dog in the pack

His eyes-how they twinkled, his face looked so merry
He eats so many cookies, he has a big belly
His mouth was drawn up in a grin
He was looking for cookies--not leaving them out  is a sin.
Out of his mouth, he had cookies he was chewing
I think he was hoping that he could turn on the tv and do some viewing

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old dog
And I told him he would be healthier if he jogged
He noticed that I had eaten his cookies
He didn't seem to mind--he wasnt' a rookie

He barked not a wolf, but went right to his work
He filled all the stockings and turned with a jerk
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He picked it for hours-it was very gross.

He got up the chimney and called for his team
They hurried over because they were fast and lean.
But I heard him yell as he drove out of sight
Merry Chrismas to all and to all a good night!

The politcally correct ending is:
But I heard him explain as he drove out of sight
Happy Holidays to all and conserve the lights.
Yeah you are even supposed to watch your electricity useage.  Perhaps they should have thought of that before inventing so many electric appliances.  The humans even make electric toothbrushes-I guess moving the arm up and down is just too much work.  Wait a minute--it is too much work. I need an electric one too!

Demon Flash Bandit (Poet)