Monday, November 24, 2014

November 21: My Wolfday!

For those of you who have been wondering why I haven't written, this dog has been celebrating my "wolfday", which is a birthday for those of the human persuasion.  On November 21, I became an 11 year old dog.  I overheard the humans say that 11 is old for a dog-not that I feel old.  However, I decided to call up the Social Security Office to tell them where to send my pension check.  A dog can always use extra money to buy treats and toys.  Imagine my shock when I was told that dogs don't qualify for pensions  Yeah, I was VERY ANNOYED!!!  The tax is even called F.I.D.C. which stands for Furry Incurablycute Dogs need Cash.   I think the name says it all.  We dogs are furry, and cute beyond cuteness, and we need cash!  The government has been taking the milkbones out of my mouth since I was a wee puppy, and now that I am old enough to collect, I am told that dogs don't get pensions  Don't be surprised is you are on the Internet one day and you see a title, Demon Flash Bandit Takes Social Security to the Supreme Court.  I'm sure the dogs sitting on the bench will understand the injustice of my situation, and will start sending out checks to all of us older dogs.

The humans did give me a nice wolfday.  Mommy even spent $10 a pound on my favorite maple honey ham.  I could add that she could buy me that ham everyday if she wasn't a cheapskate, but at least she got it for me on my wolfday!  My favorite toy is a squirrel puzzle.  It is a stump filled with 3 small squirrels that a dog can take out and put back in.  So far, I have taken them out and lined them up where I can keep an eye on them.  It is not a good idea to let squirrels run through the house without supervision.  I am still mad at the one outside that hit my nose with an acorn.  Why did the humans give me the gift of squirrels?  It is because humans are stupid, and don't have the sense God gave a worm.  Incidentally, worms are edible if a dog wants something different to eat.  I know one dog who ate half a worm, and let the half grow back so he could eat it again.  That dog fed on one worm for a very long time.  His humans weren't impressed, but his fellow dogs thought he was super cool!  Mommy gave Angel 3 little hedgehogs in a stump which is also a puzzle toy.  After a couple of days of Angel ignoring it, I took it.  After all, it was my wolfday and I think all the presents should be mine.  William bought me a cool new plush squeaky toy, and Jeff gave us dingo treats.  It was a great wolfday, but would have been better with the addition of a ;pension check.  I'm sure the dogs on the Supreme Court will make the humans at Social Security sorry they didn't grant me my check first thing!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Celebrated Wolfday!)


  1. Happy Wolfday! Belatedly that is...

    Is your snow all gone, too? Gonna get more, I hear.

  2. Crikey ... you sure are right, aye?? We canines get cheated out of things all the time, aye?? Glad you had a great Wolfday though and got the BEST ham and some toys too. Happy belated Wolfday from me too.