Thursday, June 19, 2014

I Never Poop--It is Beneath Me

I have been writing my blog for years now, and I seldom confess to my readers that I have any faults and I have many.  Just ask my fellow dog and roommate, Angel Zoom Smokey, who did not make a computer heist and write this blog today.  First and foremost, despite what I say, I do poop.  This is because there is even a book called Everybody Poops.  I have always said the book is Everybody Poops Except Demon Flash Bandit, but the scientific fact is that everyone does, indeed, poop.  Angel Zoom Smokey has been telling everyone that for years; and I have always denied the truth; but, alas, as usual, she is right!  In fact, Angel Zoom Smokey is always right about everything.  I should be nicer to her and give her the first crack at all treats.  In fact, she deserves all of them, and I should go without!

What the dog?  I don't remember starting this blog, but I guess I must have started it before my last nap.  I guess I could proofread what I wrote; but since I wrote it, I'm sure it is brilliant and does not need to be proofread.  Speaking of naps, I was just having a nice dream about how I was put in charge of running the world because of my genius and my ability to negotiate with the humans.  My first order was to kill all the stupid birds.  Then the world became a wonderful, happy place for everyone (except the birds of course).  I love it when I have such good dreams.  If only it could become a reality and a dog could walk outside without fear of being hit by a "bird bomb".  I hate bird poop.  Birds should be like me and not poop!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Does Not Poop)


  1. Crikey .... you don't poop????? My Mum would love to own you. She hates the poop pick up thing!!