Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Demon Flash Bandit's Magazine for Dogs

In my last blog, I wrote about a local puppy mill, and today I am going to share a follow up on that blog for those who are interested in reading a happy ending:


I was pawing through my human's latest issue of Better Home and Gardens magazine, and I didn't see anything of interest to a dog except for some of the food advertisements.  If that magazine wants more dogs to subscribe, I would suggest they publish more dog approved articles.  Anyway, in the recipe section, there was the usual "patriotic" cake for July 4.  It is sad that the humans bother to try these recipes.  Let's face it, those recipes are usually things like "how many ways you can make beets taste better than lousy!  This dog does not eat beets and neither do my humans.  I'm not even sure if my humans have ever even bought a beet, but I'm sure they wouldn't like them.  The only way I would eat a beet is if it were covered in peanutbutter, and then I would just lick off the peanutbutter and leave the stupid beet.  I also see no reason to eat eggplant until it becomes a chicken.  Most of us dogs aren't fond of vegetables, and I'm the first in line to avoid them.  Anyway, this blog is not about how useless vegetables are to a dog, but back to the cake.  Whenever there is a patriotic holiday, the magazines always publish a recipe involving a cake that has blueberries and strawberries or raspberries decorating it--with either whipped cream or frosting for the white color (the only part of the cake worth eating if you ask me).  As a favor to the humans who seem to already have enough work to do without having to bake a cake, I have a better recipe for a patriotic dessert.  All you have to do is purchase some pre-made cakes.  I prefer Hostess myself, but any will do; and the store brands are fine if you are on a budget.  Once you have purchased the ding dongs, ho hos, or twinkies, get a package of small United States flags on toothpicks, open the individually wrapped packages, put a flag on each one, and put them on a serving tray.  Let the humans have the chocolate cakes and the dogs get the twinkies.  At least that is the consensus I have gotten from the dogs I have talked to about this subject.  The best thing about this recipe other than it is much easier for the human;, is that there is not stupid fruit ruining the flavor.  Whenever you put something "good for you" into a dessert, it ruins the flavor.  If you try my recipe, let me know how much the dogs enjoyed the twinkies.  Then do something useful like cancel your humans subscription to Better Homes and Gardens, and subscribe to my blog or my new magazine, Demon Flash Bandit's Magazine for Dogs which will soon be on the shelves of your local store.

Demon Flash Bandit (Editor of New Magazine)

No comments:

Post a Comment