Professor Parke Kunkle of the Minnesota Planetarium Society, claims the Earth has changed over the years and those changes have resulted in the necessity of a new zodiac sign, Ophiuchus. This change would mean that I would no longer be a Scorpio, but instead, I would be a Libra. It isn't that I mind being a Libra, but I think I will stick with fortune cookies for predicting my future. They are accurate, and they are also tasty to eat after you are done reading your fortune.
Speaking of reading, Sonny, the dog who can read, could be a reincarnation of Sonny Bono. According to the Weekly World News, one of the few newspapers a dog can trust, this is the case. Lucky for Sonny, he got the same name so he doesn't have to get used to a new one. I'm wondering if he can also write songs. Several of the networks are vying to get him to star in a new television show, Sonny With Hair. It is about time a dog is the star of a show because it would make an excellent show. I'm hoping that one of the networks can get Sonny to sign on for it. The only thing that bothers me is that Sonny thinks he is a person--not a dog. I think he needs some help with self esteem. We dogs are so much better than the humans.
Demon Flash Bandit (Proud to be a Dog)