Garbage Can Moves and "Catches" Garbage

One of the humans has invented a trash can that moves around and catches garbage. I know it is a human who invented this item because no dog would have ever bothered. We are usually busy trying to take garbage out of the garbage can and have no interest in putting garbage into a garbage can. However, the humans, who sadly, do not think like dogs, like to make sure the garbage lands in the garbage. I don't know how popular this item will become, but my guess is that many of the humans will buy it so that they don't have to bend over and pick up garbage that misses its target. If only humans were more like dogs--they would be so much more interesting! For those who want to see this moving garbage can, here is the link:
http://www.engadget.com/2012/07/23/kinect-trash-can-mod/

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Likes Most Garbage)

Dog Television

I am pleased to announce that there is a television channel that is designed just for dogs. It is about time us dogs can sit around and watch television like the humans. I can just envision myself sitting on the couch with a box of milkbones watching my favorite shows. I might add that I am sure that our programming will be superior to the programming of the humans. Humans will watch anything. I know this because my humans were watching the new Beavis and Butthead show. Beavis and Butthead were funny, but there were a bunch of clips from Jersey Shore on there, and those people are idiots. I couldn't believe that the humans would bother to watch Jersey Shore, but they even buy their seasons on dvd. In fact, every show of which they showed clips (there were clips from a couple of other stupid reality shows), all of them were totally and completely uninteresting, and had stupid humans on them. No dog would ever allow himself or herself to be seen in such garbage. However, I digest (it is actually digress, but I like the word digest much better), dog television is a great idea and I'm amazed the humans thought of it--or did they? It sounds like maybe they are taking credit for the dog's idea. Here is the site so you can read more about it.
http://www.petplace.com/dog-videos.aspx?id=1081&utm_source=dogcrazynews001et&utm_medium=email&utm_content=petplace_article&utm_campaign=dailynewsletter
I personally am anxious to see this new channel, and I will let my readers know what I think about it after I watch it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Anxious To Watch Television)

The True Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Garbage

I am making a new action movie entitled, The True Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Garbage. You might ask, why not just sue the studio that made Indiana Jones for making a bogus movie from the real story? However, in that movie, Indiana loved his dog so I'm letting it slide. Besides, my movie will be a bigger box office hit anyway. I am going to star in the title roll. Of course, there will be lots of interesting garbage. The film will take place during World War 2, and the Germans will be after the ancient garbage. Hitler thinks that whoever gets the garbage can rule the world. Of course, Indiana steps in to try to stop Hitler. I can't tell you anymore or it would spoil the movie's ending. Anyway, watch out for The True Raiders of the Lost Garbage which will soon be opening at a theatre near you!

Demon Flash Bandit (Producer, Director, Star, and Garbage Collector)

Sharing a Love Letter

I was just watching Jim Carrey's video love letter to Emma Stone, and it made me realize that I should share a love letter I got so that Jim Carrey won't feel so alone in making that video. I sometimes watch an old television show with my Mommy called "The Nanny" which stars Fran Drescher. I like the show because many episodes starred her dog. Sure, some of the humans might say the dog had a cameo, but if a dog walks onstage, that dog has become the star of the show. Anyway, she has a dog named Ester. I have never met Ester, but she must have seen my photo on the Internet because I received this love letter from her.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
I know we have never met, but when I saw those gorgeous blue eyes of yours, I knew that I was in love. I think that we would be a perfect match. I can see us together--eating bacon, taking walks, taking over our humans bed, digging in the yard, and looking through the garbage for treasures. Our puppies would be furry and cute, and unlike the human puppies, they would not stay home and mooch off of us for 18-22 years. I know it seems odd that I would write a love letter to a dog I don't know, but I had to tell you how I feel.
Love, Ester

It was quite a compliment to get a letter from a celebrity dog like Ester. I hope she finds happiness, but I think we live too far from each other for it to work out. Ester, you are one cute dog!!! I am going to share the address so you can see Ester for yourself:
http://www.okmagazine.com/2011/06/ok-pets-fran-drescher-has-a-magical-creature/
I think you will agree with me that she is one beautiful dog!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing a Love Letter)

Another Injustice to Dogs!

Normally, I am not a fan of birds, and I am constantly warning all my readers that birds are evil creatures who cause global warming by stealing snow. However, my hatred of birds does not apply to penguins largely because these birds don't steal snow because they live in areas with lots of snow and they love snow as much as I do. They are also cute and I love the way they waddle around when they are on land. There is a website set up by Disney that is called Club Penguin. I assume it is for children. I am not a member, but evidently, when you join, you can play games and generally have fun on the site. There is a membership fee and since I'm not a member, I have no idea if the site is worth the cost, but this dog does love all the lovely snow on the site. My big question is why is there no game site for dogs? I'd consider joining a husky club or a dog club. It could have games like "chase the squirrel", and "find the treasure in the garbage". Sure, it would be more fun actually doing those things, but when a dog is stuck in the house and can't enjoy chasing a squirrel in person, it would be a fun alternative. I think dogs are often left out of fun activities like that because the humans think we aren't intelligent enough to be on the computer. Excuse me, but how many children can write a blog like I am writing and yet they have sites for them. All us dogs know that it takes human children a long time to even learn to walk and yet dogs are treated like we aren't smart. It is an injustice against dogs as usual, and this dog has to bark out about such injustices!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Blogger)

Dylan Dog

I went to see the movie, Dylan Dog, yesterday because the title made it sound like a "must see" movie. Whenever a movie involves a dog, it makes me want to see it. I enjoyed the movie, but I have to report that there was no dog in the movie. However, Brandon Routh's character was named Dylan Dog. I liked the movie because it is always nice to see a human who wants to be a dog so much that he calls himself a dog. In the near future, I will be posting a movie review of Dylan Dog on my brother's site, http://www.silverscreenhub.com/ . I should add that I think it is very intelligent on my brother's part to cover movie reviews from a dog's point of view. The movie has vampires, werewolves, and zombies so I can only imagine how big it is going to be for the "tween" girls in the audiences since so many of them love the Twilight series. Dylan Dog has both vampires and werewolves with the additional zombies with which teenage girls tend to love. I don't think I have to tell you that teen-age girls are always asking if they can be matched with a zombie because they are so handsome. Additionally, a zombie boyfriend tends to do what he is told which probably is going to make them very popular with older women too. I've heard the women complain about the human men not wanting to carry out the garbage and do other household chores, but a zombie man will do what he is told. In fact, when it comes to garbage, he might even eat some of it for you thus reducing the amount of trash that has to go to a landfill.
I do think the movie could have been improved with the addition of some zombie dogs to the cast.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing My Opinion of the Movie Dylan Dog)

Junk Yard

I just heard of a cool place that has this dog super excited. Did you know that there is a place called a junk yard that sounds like a fun place for a dog? When stuff becomes "junk", the humans throw it away, and all us dogs know that garbage is among the most interesting stuff on the planet. What dog would not want to spend his time rummaging around checking out all the cool items that the silly humans wanted to throw away? I have seen my humans throw out things that, when I tell other dogs about it, they are incredulous. Why would a human throw that out? Yes, that is what I always here from my pals. No self respecting dog would ever throw away such treasures. I think junk yards mainly deal in car garbage, but I could jump into an old car and sit behind the steering wheel and pretend I am driving which is always fun. It would also be cool to stick my head out of the window, and have a fan strategically placed so that the wind blows my fur. It is like having the joy of riding without having to actually go anywhere. I have to go now. I am going to get the phone book and see where the nearest junk yard is around here. A junk yard is just too much fun for a dog to pass up. By the way, I know dogs love them because some dogs live there and are called "junk yard dogs". What a lucky group of dogs they are.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Junk Yards)

To Boldly Go Where No Dog Has Gone Before

Space....the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the star ship Igloo-doghouse. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life forms and new civilizations, to boldly go where no dog has gone before. This is what I said to get the government funding for my project which is actually one of those cool igloo style dog houses that I have modified into a space ship. My actual mission is to go into space in search of bones and other interesting garbage. It seems that the humans who have already been in space have been dumping their garbage there. It just happens that dogs like myself enjoy garbage so I couldn't resist the idea of travelling into space to rescue some of the treasures that the humans are thoughtlessly casting aside. Of course, when you want government funding, you have to make it sound like you are doing something noble. I thought if I said, Space: The Place Where a Bunch of Cool Garbage is Tumbling Around. These are the voyages of the Star ship, Igloo-Doghouse. Her ongoing mission: to seek out cool new garbage, to boldly go where no dog has gone before unless some alien dogs have beat us there. The truth wouldn't be a good way to get the funding I needed so I borrowed the opening lines from the television show, Star Trek. I didn't think Captain Kirk would mind since the last time I saw him, he was busy being a lawyer in Boston Legal. This dog does enjoy the Star Trek television shows and movies which is a good thing since my brother Jeff really likes them a lot and I like to hang out with him so it is good that we have something in common. I still prefer a good dingo bone over television, but you can't eat dingo bones all day--I could, but the humans won't buy that many of them for me. I have to go now. I have some finishing touches to put on the Igloo-Doghouse. I am going to paint a dead bird on it. When I'm flying through the air out into space, it will be fun to upset the birds.

Demon Flash Bandit (Correction: Captain Demon Flash Bandit....soon to be....Admiral Demon Flash Bandit)