My Doghouse!

I've discovered that dogs live in different doghouses so I thought it might be interesting for my readers if I talk about my doghouse. My doghouse has 3 bedrooms-one of which is a room with a computer where I write my blogs, 2 bathrooms which I think are totally unnecessary since I don't like baths. There is a kitchen where sometimes Mommy does some cooking, but Daddy told me to avoid that room as much as possible--Daddy was a master at avoiding work! There is another room which which has a television and a couch, but I'm not really sure if it has a purpose since the humans hardly ever spend any time in there. There is also an attached 2 sled garage and a basement underneath the house which the humans can't get me to enter. Angel Zoom Smokey likes it down there--she says it is cooler than the regular house. I do share my doghouse with Angel Zoom Smokey although I think she would be much happier in one of those plastic igloo type doghouses outside. There is a big deck which can also be called a porch, but my humans never seem to spend any time out there. I am such a nice dog that I do allow my humans to live in the doghouse with me. I don't think they appreciate it like they should since sometimes they act like it is their house and not mine, but I know better. I think that I am doing very well for a dog since many dogs have small houses in the yard and let the humans live in the big house. Those dogs need to have better trained humans. Their humans actually think they own the doghouse when clearly, they do not. I hope everyone is having a good week and don't forget my contest.....an X Large t-shirt with my photo on it. Enter from March 15 to April 15 by leaving a comment on one of the blogs dated during the time period or pawmail me on www.dogster.com to be entered!

Demon Flash Bandit (Doghouse Owner)

Long Live the King

I used to love Burger King hamburgers, but I quit going there awhile back because when my human went to order my burgers--stackers with only bacon, the employee refused to ring up stackers with bacon but no condiments, and proceeded to argue with my human by telling her that she couldn't ring up a stacker without condiments. The manager had to come over to straighten it out, but my human was so annoyed that the company had refused to allow her to order it "her way" which was even more serious because it was my way. When Burger King starts giving one of their most loyal customers trouble, it is time to switch. My human called the company to tell them what had happened (by the way, BK has no toll free number so you know the company does not want to hear from its customers). The customer representative told my human that individual franchises have the right to charge you for leaving things off a burger. I have mentioned all this already in a past blog, but I'm recapping it for those who haven't read it or forgot it. Ever since then, I have been going to the competition, McDonalds. I wouldn't eat the burgers there when I was a puppy, but now I find them quite tasty! Anyway, Burger King is changing its fries and dropping its mascot, the King. This explains why things are so lousy at Burger King. The King, who took care of his kingdom and made sure all the burger problems were taken care of has been replaced by a bunch of stupid humans in customer service. I also read today that Wendys is about to take over Burger King's spot. This is what happens when a company messes with an order for Demon Flash Bandit. They probably wish I hadn't written anything about their treatment of my order in my blog. I think they had better fix the kingdom by putting the king back on his throne. The humans running the place aren't doing a good job. I would volunteer to be in charge, but I'm eating at McDonalds now, and I suspect it would be an annoying job that would eat into my nap time.

By the way, an update on yesterday's igloo building blog--I have decided to include a bathtub. It is not for baths, but it is for waterboarding terrorist birds. I really hate those evil birds!

Demon Flash Bandit (Long Live the Burger King!)

Building My Own Igloo

I heard the radio say we are going to have snow tonight, and they had better be right or this dog is going to go to the weather service and give them some puppy slaps of justice. I love snow, and you don't promise a dog snow and not deliver! As usual, my human was not happy about it. She was actually hoping that it was a radio station out of Saginaw instead of Detroit. I have no idea why the humans around here don't like snow. It is lots of fun to play in and it is cold and delightful!

I have decided to build an igloo this year. I plan to build it big enough so the whole family can live in it. You can be sure it won't have the one thing that annoys me in this house--the furnace. Yes, the house is toasty warm even when it is extremely cold outside. I keep hoping the humans will turn it off and not use it at all...it would even save them money because I hear them talk about how it costs a lot of heat the house. My idea of not turning it on would save them a small fortune which could be better spent on dingo bones if you ask me. I shed enough fur to keep them warm so it is a win-win situation for all of us if they decide to live in the igloo I plan to build. My only problem at the moment is how I can keep the igloo livable year round. There is no problem during the winter having a nice cold place to live, but then spring will rear its ugly head and threaten to melt my igloo. This is the same problem that Frosty the Snowman has had to deal with. He gets a magical hat, and is able to dance around until the sun comes out and causes problems. I need to watch some Frosty specials on television to see if he ever found a way to work out that problem. I've got to go now. I'm going to have an architect draw up the plans for my igloo. You don't expect me to live in an ordinary igloo, do you? I plan on having a lot of special features that the humans don't have....like a room for storing and eating of bones which I call the bonery. You can be sure that there will be one thing missing from my igloo that the humans think you need--a bathtub and/or shower. I see no need for baths so I'm not wasting money putting a bathtub in my igloo. I just heard the doorbell ring....it must be the architect...I'll write more tomorrow!

Demon Flash Bandit (Igloo Builder)

To Boldly Go Where No Dog Has Gone Before

Space....the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the star ship Igloo-doghouse. Her ongoing mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life forms and new civilizations, to boldly go where no dog has gone before. This is what I said to get the government funding for my project which is actually one of those cool igloo style dog houses that I have modified into a space ship. My actual mission is to go into space in search of bones and other interesting garbage. It seems that the humans who have already been in space have been dumping their garbage there. It just happens that dogs like myself enjoy garbage so I couldn't resist the idea of travelling into space to rescue some of the treasures that the humans are thoughtlessly casting aside. Of course, when you want government funding, you have to make it sound like you are doing something noble. I thought if I said, Space: The Place Where a Bunch of Cool Garbage is Tumbling Around. These are the voyages of the Star ship, Igloo-Doghouse. Her ongoing mission: to seek out cool new garbage, to boldly go where no dog has gone before unless some alien dogs have beat us there. The truth wouldn't be a good way to get the funding I needed so I borrowed the opening lines from the television show, Star Trek. I didn't think Captain Kirk would mind since the last time I saw him, he was busy being a lawyer in Boston Legal. This dog does enjoy the Star Trek television shows and movies which is a good thing since my brother Jeff really likes them a lot and I like to hang out with him so it is good that we have something in common. I still prefer a good dingo bone over television, but you can't eat dingo bones all day--I could, but the humans won't buy that many of them for me. I have to go now. I have some finishing touches to put on the Igloo-Doghouse. I am going to paint a dead bird on it. When I'm flying through the air out into space, it will be fun to upset the birds.

Demon Flash Bandit (Correction: Captain Demon Flash Bandit....soon to be....Admiral Demon Flash Bandit)