I recently wrote a blog entitled Stupid Face Squirrel, which is about Phinegus Fitzgerald Argyle Tiberius Caesar Fitzpatrick IV, who I have dubbed Stupid Face. In my blog, I hinted that acorns might have some drug like qualities similar to cocaine judging from the behavior ot the average squirrel. I'm sure those of you that may have doubted my conclusion have since watched some squirrels and know that I am right. Those little varmints act like small cocaine addicts. I decided to do some further research so I called 911 to report Stupid Face's suspicious behavior which did not bring any authorities out to see for themselves. Evidently, a dog is ridiculous for calling an emergency number to report a squirrel. Therefore, a dog has to take matters into his own paws and fix things himself. I caught Stupid Face, and I detained him on the deck in the back yard while I "grilled" him. Okay, I admit that I used a grill so Stupid Face would know that this dog means business. I hooked up some flashlights on him, and turned on the porch lights. Stupid Face would spill the "acorns" or my name isn't Demon Flash Bandit. Stupid Face sang like a canary, but that is the one bird language that I can't speak. I recorded it and I"m trying to locate a dog who speaks canary.
Demon Flash Bandit (Grilling Squirrel Meat is Fun)