Saturday, August 14, 2010

Companies Need New Human Resources Humans

I saw an article on AOL Internet news yesterday that this dog decided to read. It is about the questions you should never ask on a job interview. I know if I were in Human Resources, my first order of business would be to sniff the potential employee's butt; which as any dog can tell you, is the fastest and best way to find a good employee. However, since the humans think they have better ways of doing things, I will tell you what the article said about the humans way of dealing with hiring other humans. After I read the questions you should never ask, I realized why a lot of companies are having such a problem getting competent employees, and why their customers, who have to deal with the employees they hire think many of them are insane for hiring them. For example, a potential employee should never ask if they will be required to relocate. If I were a potential employee or a potential employer, this would be a fair question and would weed out a lot of unsatisfactory employees. This is when I observed that most of the human resources workers must have gotten a college degree from the University of Fantasyland. Employment should not be a war between employer and employee--it is a beneficial relationship. If I were hiring an employee, I would prefer to know if they are unwilling to relocate if the job requires it, and if not, it would save me the trouble and money of hiring an employee who will quit after a short time. Why is it that the amount the job pays is supposed to be a big secret? I think even cats know that companies are cheap and want to pay as little as possible, and employees want as much as possible. NOTE FROM DEMON FLASH BANDIT: Slavery has been outlawed no matter how much that annoys large companies. You will ultimately be better served to live with it unless, of course, you have an entire workforce of illegal aliens in which case, you are exempt from these kinds of rules.

The thing that I noticed is that none of the questions you should never ask really had anything to do with the honesty and integrity of the potential employee or whether or not they are qualified to do the job. Most of the questions are stupid. I suppose that explains why so many of the smarter humans are starting businesses that end up competing with the company that didn't hire them. The ones with brains are less likely to put up with the hiring process. Since most modern companies can check credit ratings and Facebook pages, it is sad that they still have such a rough time finding the right people. Maybe the company should do a better job hiring the humans for Human Resources.

Demon Flash Bandit (Solving Problems for Large Companies)


  1. I hope Turbo's Human sees this one -

    I'm pretty sure she'll have a khomment or two or three or four!


  2. I like Turbo's human, and I'm sure she is good at her job, but the article on the aol news just seemed way too stupid.