Car Color On Which Birds Prefer to Poop

Since it is summertime, I am going to write about a subject that is important to many of the humans--and that subject is clean cars. Yes, some of the humans go to a great deal of work and expense to keep their cars clean. This makes them feel good to drive around in a clean car. Do the cars stay clean and who is the major culprit in getting them dirty? This is an important question. I'm sure may of you are thinking, isn't it dirt and dust on the highway causing them to get dirty, Mr. Bandit? Sure, there is dust and occasional dirt that, when wet, becomes mud on the highway that does get a car dirty. However, you can wash a car and leave it sitting in your driveway and it can get dirty thanks to the work of my own personal enemy, the birds!!! Sure, you may not realize that birds are the enemy, but believe me, they are! In fact, some humans did a study to find out whether birds prefer to drop their bird bombs on certain color cars, and they do. They prefer to poop on red cars. I don't know about the rest of you, but I hate seeing bird poop on my car. Sometimes they even go beyond the car. The other day I found bird poop in the chair on the porch that I like to sit on.....they know I hate them, and they were after MY chair. You can sit around thinking birds are okay, but if you do, then you are part of the problem. Birds will continue their bombing missions until a concerted effort by humans, dogs, and cats cause them to stop. Remember, you can do something to stop birds from pooping. Dead birds drop no bombs! Dogs, get to work...you can kill a bird and have a snack at the same time. Just ask cats-they've been doing it for years. For those who would like to read the bird poop on car color story, here is the link:
http://www.autoblog.com/2012/06/21/these-car-colors-attract-the-most-bird-poop/
Thanks for reading, and remember, the birds you kill won't poop on your car!

Demon Flash Bandit (Car Color On Which Birds Prefer to Poop)

Geese: Humans Mad at Them for the Wrong Reason

There is a school in Missouri that has had a problem with allowing children to play outside on the playground because geese have been hanging out there and leaving behind their poop. Sure, this dog thinks school is a waste of a dog's time. When you take the humans to obedience school, they take forever to learn anything because humans don't think they have to listen to a dog. It takes a long time for them to understand that a dog is supposed to be in charge. Anyway, the humans have found a way to solve the problem. They put a cutout of a coyote who looks like he has a goose in his mouth and it has solved the problem--or so they think. If I know anything about the evil birds--and I do. There will be more trouble in the future. I would venture a guess that the geese are busy forming a geese army and preparing their weapons to do battle with that coyote. When they discover that the coyote is a decoy, there will be trouble. The school should skip the fake coyote and go with dogs. We know how to fight the evil birds, and we could keep them away. Of course, knowing how silly the humans are, they would probably start complaining that there is dog poop on the playground. Sometimes you just can't please the humans. They are odd. Personally, I don't see where poop is a bad thing; but as usual. the humans have bad taste.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Knows Birds Are Evil)

Guest Blogger: Angel Zoom Smokey!!!!!!

Howdy everyone! My name is Angel Zoom Smokey. I am Demon's sister and, from time to time, mortal enemy (aren't all siblings?). Anyway, Demon is having me write this blog because his secretary (code name: mommy) is in the hospital at the moment. If everything goes fine, she should be out in a couple of days. Demon just felt that the world might end without some "husky wisdom" everyday so he wants me to blog today since he refuses to allow the likes of Jeff to write his blog. Demon can be impossible at times.

Anyway, everyone here hopes mommy feels better soon so she can return to her dogs! Demon told me that mommy has some writing to catch up on. Demon is always so thoughtful. Demon is a typical guy though. I am a lot more thoughtful, I just want to make sure she brings home a lot of grilled chicken from the hospital. They give out grilled chicken as a prize for escaping the hospital, don't they? If they don't, they should, more people would go to the hospital just so they could leave and get chicken.

Anyway, I thought I'd share some of my views with Demon's blog readers today. First of all, I actually like birds...in my stomach. When it comes to birds not in my stomach, I pretty much agree with Demon one hundred percent that they should all die (so we dogs can eat them). I enjoy eating gourmet food, such as chicken or any other birds (turkey will more than do as well). I like Mexican style food and enjoy Taco Bell very much. Demon doesn't care much for it, but I don't mind a few tacos here and there mixed in with my chicken (plus, Taco Bell has wonderful chicken tacos that are to mush for).

I ran as Demon Flash Bandit's running mate in the 2008 election (we didn't get as many votes as Obama/Biden but we got a lot more than McCain/Palin's 3 votes nationwide). Some of you may not know that Demon and I invented the Fur Party in politics. Next time, instead of voting for major political players, vote for a dog! You will thank me later.

The Fur Party promised more fire hydrants on the street for EVERYONE to pee on! We felt that making humans feel equal to dogs was important in bridging the species gap. We also promised to find alien life to bring to Earth so they could clean up the human's poop. Humans have to clean up their own waste. It must be disgusting and degrading. Demon and I felt that having some higher intelligence clean up their poop would not only help the humans feel more equal, but it would also create a great relationships with humans! What alien in their right mind would want to take over a planet in which the higher beings (dogs and humans) don't even clean up their own poop. Alien invasion successfully avoided thanks to us dogs.

Of course, I can't legally make anyone vote for a dog on election day...but I can illegally make someone, so just keep that in mind (wink wink). Seriously though, if you do vote for a dog in 2012, make sure it's Demon Flash Bandit and Angel Zoom Smokey! We would bark the roof off of Washington D.C.!

-Angel Zoom Smokey (Dog of the People)