Banana Sam the Monkey is Missing!

A squirrel monkey is missing from the San Francisco Zoo. His name is Banana Sam, and the zoo is assuming that he was stolen. However, I wonder if he escaped to have some fun looking around the city. I would imagine a zoo gets kind of boring after awhile and a monkey might get curious (like George the monkey), and want to enjoy some new sights. I hope Banana Sam is okay and he is back home at the zoo soon. If you happen to run into him, be sure and tell him to head home--that the humans at the zoo are worried about him.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Missing Monkey)

For Sale: Birdual Items

There is an item on the Internet news about a man in China who has spent $16,000. on a virtual sword for a game that has not been released yet. This gave me an idea. I decided that I should start selling virtual dingo bones from my blog so that I can make money to buy real dingo bones. Of course, that idea was given up as quickly as I thought of it. Since dingo bones would be of interest to dogs, then there would be no way I could sell virtual dingo bones because dogs are too smart to buy them. We dogs want real bones--not virtual bones. Don't get me wrong.....I have a page on www.dogster.com, and I get lots of cool gifts from my friends that make my page look good-including bones, and I like getting them. However, I am not paying money for them. No dog would spend real money on virtual bones. That is the kind of stupidity that only the humans possess. Perhaps I should design a Demon Flash Bandit game. It could involve killing birds or doing something similarly useful to society. I'm sure the humans who get involved in it would love to buy virtual game items--guns to shoot at the birds, grills to cook the birds, etc. They could be called Birdual Items. I just thought up a whole new word--I am such a talented dog! I bet it would be a big hit as a video game. How could it not be a hit if I'm in it?

Demon Flash Bandit (Selling Virtual Items)

Husky Snow Dance!!!

There hasn't been a lot of snow yet here in my area so my fellow Siberian Husky, Angel Zoom Smokey, and myself have decided to take matters into our own paws and make sure we get more snow. We are planning to do a "snow dance" later today. A snow dance is like a rain dance only instead of rain, you get snow. I checked with Professor Ima Husky, and she said that snow dances are very effective in getting snow to arrive. She should know because she has an advanced degree in snowology! It is tricky finding the time to do it when the humans aren't watching because my humans really hate snow, and would probably live in a place with palm trees if they could do so. Personally, I have been to Florida, and I was not impressed with the palm trees.....they are no better than any other tree, and I peed on them just to check them out! If they were really such a great tree, they would be able to survive in cold climates instead of only warm climates. I have to go now. Angel has some ice for us to eat to get into the proper frame of mind for the dance. I hope that tomorrow at this time, I can report that we have lots and lots of snow!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sled Dog)

Dogs Make Best Financial Consultants!

After reading this item on yahoo.com, I realized it is time for some financial advice from me because when you need financial advice, you should always consult a dog! Look at what a mess the humans make of the economy when you let them make decisions! Here is the address so you can read more if you choose to do so:
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/india-tycoons-got-tons-cash-064653323.html

The story is about a billionaire in India who can't invest his money. This is the big problem with the humans--they don't seem to understand that money is paper. Don't get me wrong--it is paper that will buy you food at a drive-thru restaurant, but I certainly would not enjoy eating it as it is. Its main purpose is to buy things that a dog wants like food, treats, bones and toys. Personally, I am a big investor in dingo bones. They are delicious and chewing on them is a great way to spend your spare time. Of course, there are plenty of other good investments-gift certificates to McDonalds, Wendys, and Arbys, milkbones, beggin strips, Yummy Chummies, Zukie jerky etc. I will admit that you don't tend to get more money back from these investments, but some of the humans make investments they lose money on, and at least with these investments, a dog can enjoy them until they are gone. I am thinking of starting my own investment advice website to help the humans who seem to invest in really silly things. I can look around the house and find lots of stupid investments. For example, I hate the vacuum cleaner, and since a house only needs to be vacuumed about once every five years (at the most), it is a total waste of money that could have been spent on something more sensible like a bird house/guillotine. (For those who may not have read my past blogs--I hate birds.) It is a shame that more dogs aren't in the financial services industry, because if we were, things would be different. In fact, for sheer pleasure, a free stick is one of the greatest things you can own!

Demon Flash Bandit (Financial Advisor)

Carpet Interview

As a tribute to news shows of the 60s and 70s which, for some reason, covered half hour events for 3 and one half hours, I am going to do one of the interviews which I'm sure was done by a newsman somewhere at sometime during those decades. Evidently back then, the newscasters didn't think the viewers were capable of understanding what was being said so it was necessary to explain it before and after. Therefore, if there was a Presidential speech, they had to come on early to tell the veiwers what they thought he would say and then later to recap what he had said. Here is my tribute to those newscasters.

Newcaster: If only the carpets could talk, I can only imagine what they would say.....with all the famous feet that have been walking on them today and all the important conversations they have been in on, if the carpet could talk, it would be a fascinating interview!
Wait a minute, I have something exciting to report--I have located some talking carpet and the carpet is willing to give me an interview!
Mr. Carpet, this is truly exciting. You have been walked on my some of the world's most powerful people today. What do you have to say about the people walking on you?

Carpet: That hurts. Quit stepping on me. Lose some weight! How about going outside to walk on the grass. Quit wearing heels lady. Uh-ho......here comes another human....no don't you dare unzip your pants....don't even think about.....oh no he didn't. I've got to go now and find some paper towels. I hate politics!

Newscaster: Now that you have heard first hand what the carpet thinks about the political climate today, we can go back to the scheduled program which has only been delayed for 5 hours for the half hour speech.

Yes, that is what it was like in the "good old days" when the humans only had 3 main channels to watch.

Demon Flash Bandit (Reliving the "Good Old Days")

Christmas for a Celebrity Dog

For those of you who are wondering what Christmas is like for a celebrity dog, I am going to tell you about my holiday. I got up earlier than usual since it was Christmas and a dog has gifts under the tree to open. I was up at 11:00 am which is early for this dog. At noon, nothing was going on because the humans were waiting for my brother to get here. This was not acceptable because there were gifts under the tree with my name on them. Seriously, the to: said Demon Flash Bandit. Anyway, my patience with the humans ran out, I yelled Christmas. For those of you who doubt that I said Christmas, then you have not lived around Siberian huskies. We can talk human if we want to. Then I got under the tree and started helping myself to all the gifts. I might add that both Angel Zoom Smokey and myself had not bothered the tree up until this point because we are both good dogs, and the tree is artificial so the branches on it aren't really sticks which makes bothering them a lot less fun than if it were a real tree. Anyway, I got dingo bones, medium and large rawhide bones, beggin strips, and toys. We got lots of great stuff from Santa Paws not to mention all the gifts we received earlier from some of our doggy pals-like bones from Coco Rose and Puff and Zukes jerky from our pal, Raja. We just didn't wait for Christmas to eat those treats! Evidently, Angel Zoom Smokey's plan to deernap Rudolph worked better than I expected. I admit--I was a bit worried, but Angel Zoom Smokey was right this time! Santa Paws was much more generous to get his red nosed reindeer back! Our humans had a nice Christmas too. I hope everyone reading this had a nice holiday, and I hope everyone has a happy and prosperous New Year!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoys Christmas)

Amazon.com Located in Amazon Rain Forest!

I have a new conspiracy theory that I discovered myself. There is a news item on the Internet today about Amazon.com hiring temporary workers for some of their warehouse locations, and the people who work at many of these jobs live in RV parks. I am going to share the item so you can read it for yourself.
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/welcome-to-amazon-town.html
I know it sounds okay--they have warehouses all over the United States, and they are not located in the Amazonian rain forest. I think that is what the company wants you to think. I stand by my earlier blogs about the workers going through the jungle to get to work. I'm not sure why the company doesn't want to disclose their actual location, but my theory is that it is because another company might try to do the same. Now Amazon is big, but what is Sahara started a company in the desert. I'm sure they could sell sand and make a lot of money since they have it in abundance. Anyway, no matter what the reason, this dog is not easily fooled, and if I wrote that they were headquartered in the Amazon, then that is where they are headquartered. Perhaps they have a few warehouses in the United States as decoys. I can even understand the need for decoy locations. Those space aliens are probably always insisting that the free shipping should include other galaxies. The space aliens can be so annoying when they are trying to be cheap. Anyway, no matter what you read, remember, if you want the true story, come to Demon Flash Bandit for the facts.

Demon Flash Bandit (Amazon Headquartered in Amazon)

Tin Tin: Movie Review

I was pleased to be asked to review this film for my readers. As usual, the theatre was a pleasant experience, and I enjoyed the snacks during the movie. The movie I saw was Tin Tin. This is the story of a young dog, Snowy, who belongs to a journalist named Tin Tin. The humans may think Tin Tin is the star, but they would be wrong, as usual. Tin Tin buys a model ship from a dealer who has items from an estate owned by an old sea captain. This starts him on an adventure because there are others who want the model. The model is part of a puzzle that leads to a treasure. SPOILER ALERT: A bird works with the villain so be prepared. I wish I had known that an evil bird would be in the movie so I could have prepared myself for its presence. You know how much I hate birds! The dog was cute and brilliant, and deserves an Oscar for his performance. Captain Haddock also deserves to be applauded because most fish are unable to pull off playing a human so well. There is one other scene I need to warn you about. If I had known ahead of time, I would have brought some ear plugs because there is one scene where the lady is howling about something--I can only assume she was dying or something. Snowy had to put his front paws over this ears and hide under a chair while she was screaming. I did the same thing. No dog should be subjected to such hideous noise which was called opera.

All in all, I give this movie my highest award of doggy achievement in the world of cinema which is a 9 out of 10 on the human movie scale.

I hope all of you can see this movie because Snowy is worth watching!

Demon Flash Bandit (Tin Tin Movie Review)

Pooping Sweater: Fashionable Attire

My human was unavailable to type this for me earlier today so I am typing it with my own paws because this needs to be shared as soon as possible. As my loyal readers already know, I always share wonderful items that can be purchased on the Internet, and I have found one of those products today. It is too good to wait until later today to share when my human has the time so I am doing it now. That product is a pooping sweater. In fact, I am thinking that a dog had to have thought of this wonderful product because it is so cool. The reindeer on the sweater poops out candy. A dog can follow the human wearing this sweater around and have treats falling all over the place! I wish I could have found it earlier and shared it with my readers sooner because this is a great gift for the person who has everything on the Christmas list. I bet most of them don't have a pooping sweater!!!! Sure, it may have "Christmas" theme, but I think this would be a fashion statement anytime of the year. For those who are interested in seeing this delightful item, go to:
http://fashionablygeek.com/jackets/everybody-poops-including-this-christmas-sweater-video/
Tell them Demon Flash Bandit sent you, and they will know that you have excellent taste!

Demon Flash Bandit (Fashion Consultant Dog)

Humans Are Entertaining

I didn't write a blog yesterday. My secretary is a human, and she was "under the weather" yesterday. I think that means she was sick, but the humans always find such stupid ways of saying things. Aren't all us of officially "under the weather" unless we are flying in an airplane and then we might be above the weather. I wasn't sure if she would write my blog today so I had to put my paw down and insist that she get it done. I'm sure it might be more effective if I actually paid her to do my blog, but she is a human, and the humans aren't smart enough to realize that they aren't getting paid. Besides, one wink from one of my blue eyes, and I can get her to do anything I want her to do.

Since this is the time of year when many of the humans catch colds, flu, and other annoying illnesses, I think that the real problem is that they need to have nice fur coats like us huskies have. I can go outside in freezing weather and feel quite warm. The humans are really not well adapted to their environments. I think this is because they are such an inferior species. Don't get me wrong--I like the humans, but I think the only reason they have survived over the centuries is because of us dogs. Our anicent wolf ancestors took pity on the stupid humans and started hanging out and watching over them. We didn't mind doing it....we do love the humans! As a whole, they are very entertaining with their antics!

Demon Flash Bandit (Humans Need Dogs)

Things To Do At Walmart

I have written many blogs about Walmart largely because Walmart seems to always have some interesting stories coming from their stores. However, today I am going to share a video I found on youtube suggesting things that a customer can do at Walmart to pass the time there. I am sharing this because I have seen just about all of these things done in the local store. Sure, the "gift wrap battle" was done with toy swords from the toy section when I was in the store, but it is the same basic idea. The only thing I have not seen is the person crawling around on the floor, but I'm sure it is probably something that I will see in the near future. This brings me to the point of this blog. I have heard Walmart suggest that they start having doctors to treat people set up at the store. Judging from their customers, I think what they really need is psychiatrists setting up offices in their stores. I'm quite sure that the psychiatrists would have people waiting in line for their services....providing the people who need to see them know what a line is. I'm not sure that some of their shoppers even know where they are! Here is the address of the video for those who are curious about the things that can be done at Walmart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-5nDCV2arw&feature=related

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Prefers Not to Shop at Walmart)

Bones: The Pawfect Gift!

Yesterday I discussed Christmas gifts for the dogs on your list--which in my opinion, should be the only ones on your list. However, there are a few gifts that dogs do not want and are not appreciated so make sure that the dog on your list does not get any of these gifts. Vacuum cleaners are the first thing that you do not get for a dog. I have yet to meet a dog who likes vacuum cleaners. If you happen to have food that drops on the floor, the dog will probably be willing to clean it for you. It is isn't food, who cares? It can stay until you move to another house. I have discussed this with many dogs and that is the general consensus among us dogs!

Another gift that you should never give a dog is soap or shampoo. Few of us like baths, and if we live with humans who give us baths, the humans will pay for such things so why waste a gift getting something like that? Besides, most of us dogs hate baths, and would prefer to be left alone.

Remember, dogs love bones. It is always a safe choice for any dog on your list!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Doesn't Like Cleaning Products)

Christmas List Just for Dogs!

With Christmas approaching fast, there are many articles on the Internet suggesting which gifts the humans should get for each other. I always find these articles amusing because there is no gift that "everyone" will love. You might think you are safe with a gift of fragrance, but the recipient could hate the perfume or even be allergic to it. Candy sounds like a safe bet, but there are always some humans who are on a diet or happen to be diabetic so candy is not a good gift for them. Many flavors of coffee sound good to most Americans, but there are humans who hate coffee. There is the old standby-the wallet, but there are different styles of wallets, and one that is perfect for one person could be a horrible choice for another. This is why it is important that you skip the humans on your list and just buy for the dogs. I have yet to meet a dog who wouldn't want a nice juicy bone for Christmas--real, rawhide, or dingo brand. We aren't that picky. In fact, even a dog without teeth will try to "gum" down a bone. Treats are also a good choice. Most of us love treats. We also enjoy toys particularly those of the squeaky variety. Do not buy the dog clothing, costumes, or hats since these items are not appreciated by ALL dogs. As usual, it is best to know the recipent of the gift enough to have some idea of what will make them happy. However, I think it wise to skip the humans on your list and just spend your money on the dogs you know. Dogs are much easier to please and far more appreciative of our gifts!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Christmas Gifts)

Dogs Should Get Oscars!

I have written numerous blogs saying that dogs should get Oscars for many of their performances in movies. It is good to see that the humans are finally beginning to see my wisdom and agree with me. Here is an article that was on the Internet today involving the subject of dogs getting Oscars:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/16/oscar-dogs-uggie-from-the-artist_n_1154162.html
It is good to see the humans using some common sense for a change.

I would also like to write about a wonderful product that I got for Christmas from my doggy pal, Raja (who also has a blog about travel, http://www.traveldogbooks.com/?p=565 . That product is Zukes Jerky Naturals. I got the lamb formula, and it has fresh apples, blueberries, and carrots in it. I loved it, and I'm a picky eater! It is also made in the U.S.A., and has no wheat, corn, soy, artificial colors, flavors added fat or by-products. If you are a dog, I am sure you would love this product too. I'm not sure about the humans. They might like it, but why let them try it? It is for dogs, and we don't want to share our treats!

Demon Flash Bandit (Zukes Jerky Naturals: Good Treat)

Light Saber Battle at Toys R Us

Usually all the unusual shopping events happen at Walmart, but sometimes Toys R Us gets to be in the spotlight too. It seems that a customer at a Toys R Us in Oregon (David Canterbury) attacked other shoppers with a lightsaber from Star Wars. I suppose that word must have leaked that Imperial Stormtroopers were planning to shop at that location, and Canterbury had to do something to protect the Rebellion. Chances are the local police won't believe that the "victims" were stormtroopers because they probably did not wear their uniforms so that they would look like normal shoppers. I'm sure that Canterbury probably needs a few months in a nice rubber room where he can contemplate future attacks on the Empire. Let's hope that next time, he doesn't attack until they are wearing their uniforms so the rest of the world won't think he is insane.

Demon Flash Bandit (Reporting a Light Saber Battle)

Birds Shopping at Walmart!

Walmart has had quite a few incidents of problems during holiday shopping, but recently a Utah store had a lot of deaths involved with shopping there. It seems a flock of birds heading for Walmart died on the parking lot. Investigators aren't sure what caused the deaths. Perhaps just the idea of having to shop at Wamart made the birds too depressed to continue living. Personally, I find Walmart to be a depressing store in which to shop. However, since we are dealing with birds here, and I think birds are my enemies, Walmart has finally done something right. Perhaps the birds were armed with pepper spray for the shopping trip and accidentally shot themselves in the face with it--they are birds and birds have those little bird brains. Anyway, it is always nice to read about birds dying....it just makes this dog's day!

Demon Flash Bandit (Birds Shopping at Walmart)

Donald Trump

When I saw a news item with the title, "Donald Trump makes a surprising move", my first thought was that he must have said or did something intelligent. As it turns out, it was one of those teaser type titles because I didn't see anything intelligent about him as usual. I'm still trying to understand why this guy has a television show. It must be for those who want something a little more exciting than "let's watch the grass grow", but a little less exciting than a fishing show. If the show was titled, "Let's go bankrupt", I could understand why he would be perfect for it, but I think it is some kind of stupid, let's get a job show. I'm still trying to understand why the humans want these job things in the first place. They don't seem to enjoy them yet they go to them all the time. I think the humans should have a long talk with their dogs to find out how we can live so well without having to work! I don't know why the humans don't stay home with their dogs and let their cats do the work. It would be good for the cats because most of them are a bit too stuck up if you ask a dog's opinion!





Trump was busy talking about some debate for the GOP (Geezers Offering Policies). I don't know all the details, but I think Big Foot is booked for an appearance as is some of the oldest men in politics--all members of the GOP. For those who want to watch it, I would suggest you make sure you get a good nap beforehand. I'm sure it will put most people to sleep if they are tired.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Donald Trump)

Calling Phantom Fast Snowman: Stunt Dog!

Mommy bought reindeer antlers for my stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman. Phantom has to do all the annoying stunts that I don't like to do-like wearing costumes and hats. I say if a dog is supposed to have antlers, we would have been born with them! The humans get such ridiculous ideas! For example, just last night, I was licking my paw. I kept licking it until it was bleeding. I wasn't complaining, but my human saw it, and immediately told me to quit licking it. Then she sprayed some stuff on it to make it taste bad so that I would quit licking it. Do the humans never learn? Of course, I continued licking my paw. No silly flavor is going to stop me from doing something I want to do. I'm not licking it now because I'm not in the mood to lick it, but if I were, you can be sure I would be licking it to my heart's content. I happen to think the humans should sit back and let a dog do what a dog has got to do!

I've got to go now. I suspect there are Christmas gifts hidden around here someplace for me and I need to go and sniff them out. There is really no need to wait until Christmas to enjoy a present!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog)

Airlines

I don't know about the rest of the dogs out there, but when I learned that Alec Baldwin had been kicked off a plane for using his cell phone, this dog decided that air travel just might be a bit too risky. My humans have never let me fly because they refuse to allow me to be in the cargo area of the plane which is where most bigger dogs like myself would have to fly. However, even if I could fly in a first class seat, how smart is it to fly knowing that the person next to me can get out his cell phone, make a call, and take down the plane. Many decades ago, the airlines wanted their passengers to feel safe in the air, and they went out of the way to make the customer feel that air travel was safe. Now they make you wonder if it is even safe to drive to the airport. I keep reading about the airlines losing money and going bankrupt. I remember when they used to make money and most people liked to fly. Let me explain how things have changed over years.

Fifty years ago, stewardesses were young and pretty. The last time my humans were on a plane, the "flight attendent" looked like she had been with the airline for about 40 years--probably starting when she was 30. The stewardesses used to be pleasant and nice--now the flight attendents (as in Alec Baldwin's case) could play the witch in the movie, Hansel and Gretel from their attitude. They used to give out food--either meals or snacks. Sure, the food wasn't gourmet, but at least it was food. Now most of the airlines charge you for food. They also add charges for luggage that are often not mentioned when the tickets are purchased because they keep changing them all the time. Perhaps if they went back to the old way of doing business-by treating customers like people who are paying for their service, maybe many of them would not be doing so badly. Sometimes a bit of kindness can go a long way. I also think they should start hiring employees who don't let the job of flight attendent put them on a power trip. A flight attendent is basically an "in air waitress"--not the CEO of the airlines. Before I would kick a person off a flight, I would probably assume that the game is not going to bring down the plane, and let it go. It would make for better public relations, and happier customers. I wonder how many customers were annoyed they had to wait for such a stupid reason.

Another thing, in the old days, planes were comfortable, and now they don't have enough leg room for anyone over 4 feet tall. I know they need to save money on gas, but this dog does not want to fly on the volkswagen bug of the airlines. In fact, grabbing a ride on a mosquito would probably give a dog more leg room!

I want to share an American Airlines pilot's opinion with you. It covers this subject well!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/11/alec-baldwin-snl-american-airlines_n_1141626.html

It really was the good old days when it comes to the airlines...now they are all being run by idiots--I'm sure there is not a dog running any of them!

Demon Flash Bandit (Consumer Advocate)

My Hobby: Collecting Bones!

I'm writing this blog later than usual today because I've been a busy dog-you know how it is for us celebrity dogs. Okay, the truth is that I have been laying around napping and I was comfortable and decided that writing the blog could wait. My readers know me so they probably aren't believing that "busy" excuse anyway! Besides, there isn't much of interest for me to write about today. Mommy did eat at Taco Bell and I got to share some cinnamon twist dessert things, and I did find that interesting, but really not up to my usual blog topics. As you know, I like to write about the things that other dogs are afraid to bark anything about. I did see one news item about how napkin rings add a distinctive touch to the table, but I'm a dog, and I could care less about napkin rings unless they are those cool round bones that a dog can get his teeth into! Speaking of bones, I don't want to brag, but I have quite a nice collection. I am always adding to it because some of them slowly disappear--I have no idea how this happens....one minute, you are enjoying a big bone, and a couple of weeks later, it is half its size. My theory is that elves come in the middle of the night and chip away at it when a dog is sleeping. I have yet to stay up all night to test that theory, but it sounds reasonable to me. I wonder if those elves are the ones who wrote the song about all the bones that are connected to each other---you know, the tail bone is connected to the tummy bone, the tummy bone is connected to the liver bone....now hear the bark of the dog. The real problem bone is the funny bone because you never know what it is connected to since it is always moving around trying to be funny which, of course, is how it got the name, funny bone. I must admit that I do enjoy writing about bones. I enjoy chewing them more, but writing comes in second. I hope that my readers are having a nice day and have their own bone collections because everyone needs a hobby!

Demon Flash Bandit (Bone Collector)

I just read a seemingly innocent article about tomatoes being a possible plant to use for Christmas decorating.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/09/tomato-christmas-decorations_n_1138887.html
However, I have written past blog articles about the nasty variety of killer tomatoes that have even been covered by several Hollywood movies. Humans have such short memories about such things. Sure, not every tomato is evil, but the evil ones look like the good ones so it is hard to tell which is which. I would suggest everyone watch the movie, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" or any of its 3 sequels or the animated documentary so the humans will at least be semi-prepared if they do turn out to be of the killer variety. Personally, I would just decorate with something less dangerous--like maybe TNT, but that is me, and I am a dog. Being a dog, I've got more sense than the humans. Personally, I happen to prefer a more interesting decor often involving stuff that I have personally rescued from the garbage. The humans don't seem to appreciate that decorating scheme,, but it is quite lovely. I also like to decorate with bones and dog toys. A well placed bone can give a room that "lived in by a dog" look that is so popular with the humans. A bit of fur placed in strategic places also gives a wonderful look to a room. In fact, since the humans are dumb enough to decorate with tomatoes, I think I will start my own interior decorating service so the humans can live in homes that really look good. Move over, Martha Stewart, you have been replaced by Demon Flash Bandit!

Angry Birds and Angry Dogs

I know this is hard for me to report, but a lady wore an "Angry Birds" dress to a big event. This made me an angry dog. As my regular readers are aware, I dislike birds. Besides trying to take over the planet, they spend much of their time annoying dogs. This is how the birds infiltrate human society. They invented a video game, and then, once they get the weak minded humans playing it, they take over by having Angry Birds tshirts, and now dresses worn to big occasions. I have even seen Angry bird dog toys--like I want to play with a toy that has an angry bird on it. Sure, dogs are smart enough to see the birds plans,, but the humans are so easily fooled that I am very worried that the war with the birds will be settled in the birds' favor.

Another thing that I want to mention....several customers at a Walmart in Atlanta, Georgia have been poked by needles that are in the clothing sold at Walmart. The customers are complaining about it, but Walmart does advertise that it gives you better value for your money--this time, they are throwing in needles at no extra charge. Personally, I think there could be an angry birds connection with both these stories. I think the birds are putting the needles in the angry birds clothing line in a feeble attempt to give the humans more for their money. This will fool the humans because humans are idiots! I suppose it could be worse--they could be leaving their bird bombs in the clothing.

I will continue to watch for these news items and share them with my readers. When dealing with birds, a dog cannot be too vigilant!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Angry Birds)

The Muppet Movie: Liberal Propaganda

Thanks to Fox Business Channel anchor, Eric Bolling, I am now aware that The Muppet Movie is liberal propaganda brainwashing children to hate the upper class. Since I have yet to see this movie, I am glad that I was able to read his comments before I waste my money going to see the movie. Who would ever think that Tex Richman could be a man who is only out for money? I have always admired large corporations for their generosity and their caring. Whether it is overpaying their employees (heaven knows that minimum wage is annoying for a company to have to pay) or collecting government subsidies to hire people they need, life for the average billionaire is tough. What a shame the liberals are always making them look bad! Doesn't the liberal media know that life is hard for billionaires? Does a billionaire not bleed green ink when he has to take some money out of his bank account? Does he not feel pain when another company makes more money than he made? Does he not worry that when he dies, he can't take the money with him? I don't know about the rest of you, but I think that I will go and see The Muppet Movie. I also want to state that I do not hate the oil companies--the car does need gas to go and get me food, treats, and toys. However, many companies are greedy and uncaring, and that is what this dog does not care for. I remember reading a story about a rich man who did so well that he said he would tear down his barns and build bigger barns. Then the "Big Guy" said, tonight thy soul shall be required of you...what will a man give in exchange for his soul? I think that many of the rich corporate people would not know how to answer that question. I am sharing the link if you want to read more details:
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=687868

Royal Family Cut Backs

I have written in the past about offering the Queen Lady (Elizabeth II) a job mowing my yard for a cool $25.00 because I have heard that she has had to cut back on her budget in recent years. Of course, she would have loved to come here and make the big bucks and spend some quality time with me, but her royal duties kept her from doing so. Now I have read that her portfolio is not doing as well as it once did, and there will be further cuts to her "allowance". Sadly, it is not the time of year for mowing the yard so I can't help her by letting her mow now. However, I do have a brilliant plan for her to keep up her royal standard of living. I think there should be a telethon for her. I'm sure all the humans out there living on regular type wages are very sympathetic to her plight. Many of her castles are going to have to go without needed repairs and she might even have to cut back on personal appearances or vacations. I'm sure I'm not the only dog who would not want to see this happen. In addition to the telethon, if you have any odd jobs that the royal family can do to raise money, be sure and let me know and I will transmit the message for you. I know that, like me, my readers are concerned about the lifestyle of the royal family....I know I would not want to see them have to cut back. They already had to serve fruit cake at the royal wedding. If you ask my opinion, how much more can they sacrifice?

Demon Flash Bandit (Watching Out for the Royal Family)

Movie Review: J. Edgar

It is time for a movie review, and the movie that is being reviewed today is J. Edgar. This movie stars Leonardo DiCaprio as J. Edgar Hoover, who as most of us already know was the head of the FBI for many years. DiCaprio, as usual, did a very good acting job. It was an interesting movie. Although it is based on real life, of course, it is hard to tell just how much is actual fact, and how much is assumed. However, it is a very entertaining movie, and it gives an interesting look at J. Edgar. I give the movie 4 paws up and a tail wag. This would be about a 7 out of 10 in a human rating system.

Now I am going to give you a movie review of Breaking Dawn. The sun was supposed to come up, but it didn't so the dawn was broken. I think the movie was a bit long and should have been a movie short showing that the sun didn't come up like it was supposed to.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Movie Reviewer)

Work--I Don't Like It!

My brother went to work today despite my sad puppy dogs looks which are supposed to melt the heart of any human and make said human do what his dog wants him to do. I will never understand the humans and their obsession with work. However, I have noticed that Mommy gives the drive thru humans money and I get burgers so I guess that is why they show up at work even though it isn't fun. I am glad I don't have to work. In fact, I am glad that we dogs don't have to work. I have decided that if I ever need money, instead of getting a job, I am going to post my photo on a website and let the humans send me money for being cute. Being cute may be hard work, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice if it means not having to get a job. I think the humans should use their brains to think of ways of making money without going to work. It would make their lives a lot easier and more fun!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Feels Human Should Stay Home With Me)

Bacon Nativity Scene

As the Christmas season approaches, more and more of the humans are decorating their houses for Christmas. Most houses will have a Christmas tree decorated with lights and ornaments. They will also have other decorations throughout the house. Personally, I think that the baby "wet ones" in the Christmas packaging might be pushing it a bit....not that it isn't nice for everything to be festive, but the humans get a bit flaky at this time of year. Many of the humans will have nativities in honor of Jesus which makes sense because that is why the humans are celebrating Christmas. Normally, I let the humans deal with the decorating while I take naps. However, this year, I found an item that I want included in the decorations. That item is a nativity made from meat. Just the bacon roof makes me hungry. The great thing about this nativity is that you can display it during the Christmas season, and the family dog can eat it when the season is over so there is no bothering with taking it down. The dog does all the work which makes life easier for the human--and they need a break by the time Christmas is over. I have the address for the nativity scene, and I hope all the dogs reading this will have your human make one. Here is the address:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wTCxcLkOlM
I have put this on my humans favorites list so that she will see it and get the idea to make one. Sometimes the humans need a push!

Demon Flash Bandit (Meat Nativity Scene)