Wile E. Coyote Should Not Use Acme Products

Many times in past blogs, I have mentioned that I am not fond of birds. They steal my snow every winter, and when it gets warm, they sing about it. It is bad enough that they are thieves without also bragging about it with their singing. For this reason, I have much sympathy for the cartoon character, Wile E. Coyote. Wile E. is always chasing around a bird named Road Runner, who is a super annoying bird. You can tell he has stolen all of Wile E.'s snow because there is never any snow on the ground which explains why Wile E. hates him so much! Despite Wile E. Coyote being a genius, and the Road Bunner being a bird brain, he never manages to catch that stupid bird. I think this is because he orders his products from Acme, which is clearly a company that does not make good products. I can't tell you have many times Wile E. could have been hurt because of Acme. I think he needs to hire Wile E. Attorney, and sue Acme. I think it is their fault that the evil Road Runner is still on the loose, and a bird who is loose is bad for society!

Demon Flash Bandit (Acme: Don't Order Their Products!)

Time to Build a Snowdog!

We finally got some snow, and I went outside to build a Snowdog. Most of the humans build snowmen, but there are already more than enough humans; and since dogs are better, I think building a snowdog makes more sense. The best thing about snowdogs is that, unlike real dogs, they don't want to share your milkbones or dingo bones. I happen to enjoy both of those items, and am not fond of sharing. This is why I prefer snowdogs. You can play with them, and they leave your stuff alone.

Demon Flash Bandit (Fond of Snowdogs!)

Husky Snow Dance!!!

There hasn't been a lot of snow yet here in my area so my fellow Siberian Husky, Angel Zoom Smokey, and myself have decided to take matters into our own paws and make sure we get more snow. We are planning to do a "snow dance" later today. A snow dance is like a rain dance only instead of rain, you get snow. I checked with Professor Ima Husky, and she said that snow dances are very effective in getting snow to arrive. She should know because she has an advanced degree in snowology! It is tricky finding the time to do it when the humans aren't watching because my humans really hate snow, and would probably live in a place with palm trees if they could do so. Personally, I have been to Florida, and I was not impressed with the palm trees.....they are no better than any other tree, and I peed on them just to check them out! If they were really such a great tree, they would be able to survive in cold climates instead of only warm climates. I have to go now. Angel has some ice for us to eat to get into the proper frame of mind for the dance. I hope that tomorrow at this time, I can report that we have lots and lots of snow!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sled Dog)

Building My Own Igloo

I heard the radio say we are going to have snow tonight, and they had better be right or this dog is going to go to the weather service and give them some puppy slaps of justice. I love snow, and you don't promise a dog snow and not deliver! As usual, my human was not happy about it. She was actually hoping that it was a radio station out of Saginaw instead of Detroit. I have no idea why the humans around here don't like snow. It is lots of fun to play in and it is cold and delightful!

I have decided to build an igloo this year. I plan to build it big enough so the whole family can live in it. You can be sure it won't have the one thing that annoys me in this house--the furnace. Yes, the house is toasty warm even when it is extremely cold outside. I keep hoping the humans will turn it off and not use it at all...it would even save them money because I hear them talk about how it costs a lot of heat the house. My idea of not turning it on would save them a small fortune which could be better spent on dingo bones if you ask me. I shed enough fur to keep them warm so it is a win-win situation for all of us if they decide to live in the igloo I plan to build. My only problem at the moment is how I can keep the igloo livable year round. There is no problem during the winter having a nice cold place to live, but then spring will rear its ugly head and threaten to melt my igloo. This is the same problem that Frosty the Snowman has had to deal with. He gets a magical hat, and is able to dance around until the sun comes out and causes problems. I need to watch some Frosty specials on television to see if he ever found a way to work out that problem. I've got to go now. I'm going to have an architect draw up the plans for my igloo. You don't expect me to live in an ordinary igloo, do you? I plan on having a lot of special features that the humans don't have....like a room for storing and eating of bones which I call the bonery. You can be sure that there will be one thing missing from my igloo that the humans think you need--a bathtub and/or shower. I see no need for baths so I'm not wasting money putting a bathtub in my igloo. I just heard the doorbell ring....it must be the architect...I'll write more tomorrow!

Demon Flash Bandit (Igloo Builder)

I Plan To Order Some Snow!!!

Although I don't pull a sled, my breed is a working breed that was bred for pulling sleds in the frozen north. This means that I LOVE snow and ice. I don't just LOVE it, I L-O-V-E it!!! This is why I am very excited about finding this product on the Internet. It is a powder that makes snow! Yes, you can have snow even in hot months like August with this super wonderful product. The ad does not say if it is cold or not, but an hour or two in a refrigerator or freezer should take care of that problem if it is not already cold. Imagine the wonderful feel of snow on your paws, the fun of getting it on your nose. I am ready to place an order now. I just have to go and get that plastic thing out of my human's purse. For those who love snow as much as I do, here is the address:
http://www.vat19.com/dvds/trailertheater.cfm?productID=851724001893
Of course, it may be on back-order since I plan to buy all they have. It isn't everyday that I find such a "cool" product on the Internet.

I was looking at the Internet news and I ran across this little gem of an article. It is an item for sale on ebay which, according to the seller, is the actor Nicholas Cage, when he was alive during the U.S. Civil War. Here is the article for those who want to see it for themselves.
http://blog.moviefone.com/2011/09/16/nicolas-cage-19th-century-photo-ebay/
He is asking a large sum for the photo, but I wouldn't buy it. I have noticed that humans, very much like dogs, have other humans who look a lot like them. I think it was probably someone who just had a resemblance to Cage, but not the Cage living today. However, you can't blame the seller for hoping that some idiot will buy the photo and pay him the price he is seeking. If an art museum can sell invisible art (which I have covered in a previous blog), why not a photo of someone who looked like Nicholas Cage who lived a long time ago. It might even be an ancestor which could explain the resemblance--or would that be too sane for the seller?

Demon Flash Bandit

TV Show: Big Bang Theory

As many of my loyal readers are aware, I am often announcing that birds are evil and should be watched. I can prove my point very easily because whenever spring arrives, the birds are always singing and they sing because they are the ones stealing the snow. They try to claim it is a coincidence, but they aren't fooling me....I know what they are doing. Anyway, Mommy was watching some older episodes of The Big Bang Theory. For those who haven't seen it, it is a television program about 4 intelligent men, and the real major genius in the group is named Sheldon. In this one particular episode, Sheldon needed to make a new friend at work. To do so he went to the bookstore and asked where he could find a book about making friends, (that type of book is in the children's section). He was chatting with a little girl, and she said birds scared her, and Sheldon hates birds too. I'm hoping that the influence of The Big Bang Theory on prime time will make the humans realize what I've been trying to tell them all along and declare all out war on birds!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who HATES Birds)

Dog Who Gets Things Done

Yesterday was Procrastination Day, and for those of you who decided to put it off until today, I hope you are enjoying the day. I'm guessing that many are deciding to put it off until tomorrow. I wonder if the people who celebrate Procrastination Day ever bother to celebrate it since they probably always put it off until the next day anyway. Unlike the humans who like to procrastinate the things that need to be done, this dog does not procrastinate. I take my naps on time, and I get my dinner on time. There is nothing worse than putting off a good nap when you are tired. I might add that I write this blog, I write for dogster, I have a store on the web, and I write movie reviews for my brother's website http://moviememorabiliahub.weebly.com/ so when I need a nap, I need a nap. I am a busy dog.

On the subject of procrastination, Walmart has announced that you can order things from them online and pick them up the same day at their local stores. I don't think this plan is going to work because our local Walmart never hires enough people to run the store, and I think it is going to be very difficult for them to get all the things together for pickup. As it is now, I have never seen anyone pick up anything at the store that they have ordered on the Internet. If it works the way I think it will end up working, I think Walmart might need to join the Procrastination Group.

It got warm here recently, and now it has become delightfully colder again. The humans don't seem too happy about the weather, but I think it is great. Just when a dog thinks spring might have come, the wonderful cold weather returns. It isn't cold enough to have snow, but a dog can hope that it will get colder.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend, and let's all hope for some delightfully cooler weather next week.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Procrastinating Dog)

Legends of the Guardians: Movie Review

Clearly my human has lost her mind-not that it is much of a loss. Yesterday my human rented a movie called Legends of the Guardians. The title sounds okay, but I watched the movie with her, and it is about BIRDS!!!!! My personal enemies and the feathered pests that are trying to take over the world--in a movie which my human was watching. At least it did show how evil the birds are, and that was good. Perhaps the humans will begin to listen to my warnings. It did show some good birds so maybe I've been dealing with the evil ones for so long that I haven't noticed the good ones. However, there aren't a lot of good ones and most are evil so don't be fooled into thinking everything is okay. Birds, for the most part, are still evil creatures who steal my snow, and drop white bird bombs everywhere. They cannot be trusted!

Demon Flash Bandit (Why Make a Movie About Birds?)

Enjoy the Last of 2010

Since tomorrow is the last day of 2010, that means that many of the humans will be making New Year's resolutions that will involve them giving up some of their bad habits. This means that today and tomorrow are the last days to enjoy those bad habits before the big day of giving them up so I suggest that you enjoy today and tomorrow. Of course, for most of the humans, the "good behavior" will last about a day and a half, but that can be a very long 36 hours. I haven 't met any dogs who worry about such silly things. Perhaps it is because we are perfect so there is no room for improvement except of course, for getting a better education. This is why I am pursuing a college degree in napping.

Some areas of the United States are digging out of major blizzards which missed our area, and only gave us a couple of inches of the delightful snow which we sled dogs love so much. Sure, my humans are pleased, but they are stupid and don't like snow. I guess it is about time for me to have another chat with Mother Nature. I've had to have chats with her before, and I have come to the conclusion that Mother Nature isn't very intelligent because she isn't listening to this dog. I should not have to waste my time having further meetings with her.

I have to go now. I have an essay to write for Napping 102. College sure keeps a dog busy!

Demon Flash Bandit (Enjoy the Last of 2010)

Visiting With my Pal

Parts of the country are getting lots of snow, but we didn't get that much around here. I think Mother Nature is trying to annoy us huskies again. However, I am glad the roads weren't bad here because today I got a visit from one of my dog pals, Riley, from Dogster.com. Riley brought his human along because you know how the humans feel left out when a dog doesn't bring them. If only the humans remembered how we include them when we go out, we wouldn't be left behind when they go places. Riley brought me 2 double whoppers. I might add that it was very nice of him. When it comes to BK, if I were Riley, I might have eaten another dogs gift before I arrived at their house. What they don't know won't hurt them.

I have been enjoying the giant rawhide bone that I got for Christmas. I have also been doing some napping. Mommy was watching the first season of The Big Bang Theory, and Howard was talking to Penny, and he said, "See a Penny, pick her up, all the day you'll have good luck." Just so the humans don't get any ideas, I said, "see a demon, pick him up, all your life you'll be missing a finger". I don't think the humans think it is as funny as I did, but I laughed my tail off over that one. Wait a minute--the tail is still there. I suppose I didn't laugh it off, but I came close.

I hope all the dogs reading this will have a great week.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoys Seeing my Pals)

Penguin: The Perfect Pet for a Siberian Husky Dog

I have come to the conclusion that Angel Zoom Smokey and myself need a pet. I have even found the perfect pet. That pet is a penguin who we will name Panda. Angel and I decided that Panda would be a perfect name since penguins are black and white. I suppose we could name him or her Zebra, but that would be silly. It is always nice to have a new friend so a pet is a wonderful idea, but the best part about having a penguin as a pet is that penguins have to live where it is COLD. Therefore, the humans would have no excuse for not allowing the house to be cold. In the winter, we can skip the heat, and in the summer, let the air conditioner work harder. In fact, add a couple of air conditioners. We huskies like it cold too. For those dogs who don't enjoy cold, you should choose a different pet, but penguins are great pets for huskies. I know they are sort of a member of the bird family, and normally I hate birds, but I mainly hate those little annoying birds. Penguins do not come to Michigan to steal my snow. They may buy it from the birds who steal it, but they are just trying to stay cold and probably don't even realize what thieves the little birds happen to be. I wish I had thought of getting Panda before summer arrived. It has been entirely too hot this summer, and I was not pleased. Next year, the house will be nice and cool for our new pet penguin, Panda. I hope other Siberian huskies will adopt this plan--less homeless penguins--more cold houses. What more could a husky ask for?

Demon Flash Bandit (I Need a Pet Penguin)