For Sale: Birdual Items

There is an item on the Internet news about a man in China who has spent $16,000. on a virtual sword for a game that has not been released yet. This gave me an idea. I decided that I should start selling virtual dingo bones from my blog so that I can make money to buy real dingo bones. Of course, that idea was given up as quickly as I thought of it. Since dingo bones would be of interest to dogs, then there would be no way I could sell virtual dingo bones because dogs are too smart to buy them. We dogs want real bones--not virtual bones. Don't get me wrong.....I have a page on www.dogster.com, and I get lots of cool gifts from my friends that make my page look good-including bones, and I like getting them. However, I am not paying money for them. No dog would spend real money on virtual bones. That is the kind of stupidity that only the humans possess. Perhaps I should design a Demon Flash Bandit game. It could involve killing birds or doing something similarly useful to society. I'm sure the humans who get involved in it would love to buy virtual game items--guns to shoot at the birds, grills to cook the birds, etc. They could be called Birdual Items. I just thought up a whole new word--I am such a talented dog! I bet it would be a big hit as a video game. How could it not be a hit if I'm in it?

Demon Flash Bandit (Selling Virtual Items)

I'm Planning a Special Mother's Day for my Human Mommy

Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the United States. It is a day set aside to honor our Mothers for all the wonderful things they do for us. I will be honoring my human Mommy who is very good to me. Since she enjoys doing nice things for me, I have the day all planned out for her. First on the agenda is for me to get her up which probably won't happen. Mommy usually gets up before me. This dog does not like to wake up before noon. I'm not a morning dog. I'm sure she will understand, and she can wait to receive my greeting when I finally wake up. That is when the fun will begin. Mommy can run to Burger King or Subway to get me some burgers to eat. This year is the first year that I have added another restaurant besides Burger King to my list so it will be a little more exciting for her this year since she will have a choice. Angel Zoom Smokey is going to allow her to make some chicken because Angel says that she knows Mother's Day would not be complete for Mommy if Angel doesn't have chicken. Then we will get the gifts Mommy has gotten for us. I am sure there will be toys and treats since Mother's Day is a special day, and the only way to celebrate a special day is to give the family dogs gifts! It is even listed in the book of Human-Dog Etiquette that I wrote so you can check and see for yourself that is is proper etiquette for the day. I plan to do some napping so Mommy can sit back and choose a dog movie of her choice because I think Mommy deserves the best in entertainment. When I wake from my nap, Mommy can bring me my usual ice cream, milkbones and rawhide bones which I like to enjoy before I go to bed at night. Yes, as you can see, this will be an exciting day for Mommy. I am so glad that there is a special day set aside for her.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Planning a Mother's Day Celebration)

Media Reading my Blog For Story Ideas

I know I should be used to it by now being the high profile celebrity dog that I am, but today's headline on MSN.com news reminded me once again of just how important my blogs are to the media. Just a couple of days ago, I wrote about insuring my beautiful tail with Lloyd's of London. Today when I logged onto the computer's MSN.com home page, there was a item entitled, "Celebs Insure the Darnedest Things". Sure, I read the article. They were wise enough not to mention me personally. My guess is they didn't mention me so I don't sue them for using my idea for a story; but we all know that they got the idea for that article from me. I'm a celebrity dog insuring my tail, and then seeing a story on celebrities insuring body parts--not a mere coincidence. We all know they were reading my blog for story ideas. Most people just read it for entertainment and knowledge, but now I realize that the news people are reading it for future stories. In fact I have suspected it for some time because this is not the first time that a story in the news has been on a subject that I have blogged about in previous days. I have no plans to sue because I am also a bit flattered that they depend on me so much, and I know that the humans usually don't have any good ideas of their own which is why they have dogs. However, I am not adverse to the idea of having a Demon Flash Bandit day which would be a holiday to honor me, Demon Flash Bandit. It would also be a day in which I would get gifts. I happen to enjoy gifts so I think a day in my honor is appropriate. Speaking of celebrities, my brother is using my stunt double as the logo for his movie site, http://www.silverscreenhub.com/ He would have used Angel Zoom Smokey or myself, but we don't like to pose wearing stupid looking human items. Phantom Fast Snowman doesn't mind modeling things which is why he is our stunt dog. I think Jeff picked an awesome logo because you can't get better than a dog! Wow, it has been about 10 minutes since my last nap so I'd better get back to dreamland. Demon Flash Bandit (Celebrity Dog)

Reminder: Santa Paws is Coming to Town

I was watching the movie made in honor of Angel Zoom Smokey and myself, Angels and Demons. I don't understand why they chose to use humans in the film because humans are clearly inferior to dogs in movies. However, it was directed and produced by humans so I have to assume that they didn't want to work with dogs who are so clearly superior to them in talent and intelligence. Considering the all human cast, it was a good movie. I'm hoping they will remake it with an all dog cast, but you know how prejudiced the humans are in favor of themselves. I can only hope that some day, the bias will end.

It is one week until Christmas so, for the humans reading this, if you haven't gotten your dog's gifts yet, I would suggest you start your shopping. You don't want the pet store to run out of dog toys and treats before you get there. Dogs, don't forget to be extra nice and good because Santa Paws is watching. I'm not saying it isn't an invasion of privacy on his part. However, he is bringing you gifts so it is best not to bring that up when you talk to him. I hope you have written your letters to him, and/or visited him in person. A dog can never be too careful at this time of year---it would be awful not to have some gifts under the tree-and you should have gifts you want!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review and Reminder: Santa Paws is Coming to Town)

Special Gifts for that Hard to Buy for Human

Sometimes finding the perfect gift for that special person on your shopping list can be difficult. What about that person on your list that you really don't want to buy for or even see again? However, it is a relative so you feel you can't just drop them from your list-or your life. Perhaps you want to show just how much you love them by giving them something you have yourself--like the flu. I'm sure you may be asking, how do you get the message across particularly if you have to mail the gift and won't see them during the holidays? Rest assured, Demon Flash Bandit has searched the Internet to find the perfect gift, and you can order it online from the comfort of your computer. That gift is the gift of a plush microbe. Go to http://www.giantmicrobes.com/ and you can order the gift that will show that special person on your list just what you think of them. Give them Ebola, typhoid fever, or whatever you find interesting.

Sure, it is a fun gift for those who you would like to send the actual disease to, but I'm sure there are some people who would love to get some of these items because they would find them "interesting". Yes, some humans love educational things that the rest of us find boring. If you happen to like that type of person, and they are on your list too, it would make a nice gift for them. However, do not miss the satisfaction of giving them to the ones who aren't into such things and you don't like--even if just for the personal satisfaction of giving them something stupid.

I might add that these items are not only featured as plush items, but you can also buy Christmas ornaments, vinyl "figures", and other merchandise featuring the microbes--like coffee mugs and ties. Yes, you can find the perfect gift for anyone on your list if you search the Internet, and your pal, Demon Flash Bandit is here to help. Happy Shopping!

Demon Flash Bandit (Shopper)

My Christmas Photo

Today I am going to post a photo of my stunt double, Phantom Fast Snowman in his Christmas hat. This "hat" was meant for me, but I didn't choose to wear it so it was time to call in my stunt double, Phantom. I might add that having a stunt double is wonderful for situations like this in which I really don't want to be bothered wearing a hat-which is most of the time. Mommy thought a photo of Angel Zoom Smokey and myself getting into the "Christmas spirit" would make a good blog photo. As usual, we didn't agree. If she wants us to get into the Christmas spirit, she should put our presents under the tree early. She waits until Christmas Eve because we have a talent for sniffing out our gifts early. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the photo of myself (Phantom), and Merry Christmas to my readers.

Mommy went shopping yesterday and came home with an artificial pathetic Christmas tree as seen in the television Christmas special, A Charlie Brown Christmas. That tree is not worthy of me bothering to lift my leg to pee on it. I'm glad we have an 8 foot tree that is the actual Christmas tree. Phantom said he wouldn't want to have his photo made next to that tree, and Phantom, being a stuffed dog, does not usually have very high standards about such things.

Anyway, I hope my readers are getting ready for the Christmas season. I know Angel Zoom Smokey and myself are looking forward to all the things we have asked Santa Paws for, and Angel said this year he had better deliver. It turns out that he didn't bring her the millions of dollars in merchandise she requested for the last couple of years, and I think he is going to get a puppy slap of justice if she runs into him. Santa Paws, you'd better watch out....Angel Zoom Smokey is ready to give you a puppy slap of justice.

Demon Flash Bandit (It is Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas)