Family Who Spends $200,000 a Year on Food!

I have a new award for human stupidity in the field of economics. I am calling it the Demon Flash Bandit Award for Humans Who Should Not Be Allowed to Handle Finances Because They are Incredibly Stupid. The first recipient of my award goes to Congressman Fleming, a member of the Tea Party, for stating that he can't afford to pay more taxes because he only makes $600,000 a year, and it takes $200,000 a year to feed his family. I can only assume that his family must be super big eaters to spend so much of the money on food. His logic is that he needs $400,000 to create new jobs. It seems he has businesses that make millions every year, but much of that money goes to pay employees, business costs, etc. I'm wondering how this moron can run successful Subway franchises when he pays so much for food for his family. If he is in charge of buying the supplies, the Subways he owns must be losing money. I have a better idea for fixing the economy.....let him pay more taxes, and let some of those people who he wants to continue paying to work for him (probably at minimum wage) actually be the ones to create new jobs. There are plenty of innovative new businesses that end up employing far more people than fast food franchises at better pay. In the long run, it would do Congressman Fleming a big favor because it is obvious to this dog that the stress of trying to keep so many people employed is getting to him. In fact, I think the stress of getting dressed in the morning must be getting to him. This is why I don't care for Tea Party conservatives. This guy is not "conservative" with tax payer money.....he is just selfishly trying to get more for himself, and acting like he is doing everyone a favor in the process. I hope his constituents decide to send him back to his old job when it is time for reelection. There are way too many idiots running the country!

Demon Flash Bandit (Giving Out a New Award)

No Longer Recommending Burger King

I have been enjoying Burger King burgers since I was a wee puppy, but today I have to report that I will no longer be barking their praises. Sure, the burgers are delicious, but Mommy had a problem with my order Friday (the employee was arguing with her about not being able to order a stacker without cheese and sauce). When Mommy finally called the corporate office to complain (and she isn't one who usually bothers to call the corporation), the corporation didn't do a very good job of customer service. If they treat a well known blogger who has been barking their praises for years like I don't matter (probably because I'm a dog), it is time to let my fellow dogs and their humans know that the company really doesn't care about its customers at all. I have never been paid or compensated for my many blogs involving BK nor for any company I write about, but I do it because if I like something, I tell my pals. From now on, I will be blogging about the other burger I happen to enjoy which is Subway's Angus burger. I know King Burger probably cares, but he is busy with royal business in his realm and he has hired humans to represent him, and they didn't do a good job of making this dog feel appreciated. Sure, the burgers are still good, and you can enjoy them if you want, but be aware that the company does not appreciate your business so don't expect them to be nice if they mess up. In fact, the guy on the phone told Mommy that an individual franchise can charge extra if you want something left off the burger. This is a stupid policy since that saves the restaurant money, and their whole slogan is "have it your way". I guess they should change the slogan to "have it our way because we don't care if you are happy or not". Anyway, a dog has to stand on his principles, and I would suggest that even the clown place is nicer to its customers when there is a mistake.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Is Annoyed at Burger King)

Great Blog Creates Great Responsibility

It always makes me feel good to see the importance of my blog on the world around me. Recently I wrote a blog about No Pants Day. Today I saw an article on the Internet about an attorney in Austria who dropped his pants while his client was being questioned. This happened on April 20 in the hamlet of Mayrhoten and was reported in the Tiroler Tageszetung. It is a shame that the attorney was unidentified, because if I knew his name, I could let him know that No Pants Day doesn't happen until May. He must have been so excited over the upcoming No Pants Day that he started celebrating early. It is also heartwarming to see the day spreading around the world. I wrote a blog about financial zombies, and it is now Zombie Month. I can't tell you how it feels to have the ideas of one dog so quickly incorporated into the humans' lives. It also brings with it a very sobering thought. Very much like Spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility. I hope that I can continue writing this blog and make the world a better, possibly even pantless, place. Perhaps one day the humans will read my blogs about evil birds and realize that birds must die.

With the importance of my blog subject in mind, I have carefully chosen my subject for today. That subject is tennis balls. They are cool because they fit in most dogs' mouths, and they feel fuzzy which makes them feel furry like us dogs. They bounce, and they are lots of fun. Okay, you may have guessed, but tennis balls aren't really the important topic of the day. However, they are fun and deserve to be mentioned. The real topic today is that yesterday was Mother's Day, and in keeping with my blog about Mother's Day being a day to give something special to the family dog or dogs, I got my wish. Mommy brought an entire foot long Angus Subway sandwich just for me. It had provolone cheese and it was delicious! This proves that with great responsibility comes great rewards. Had I not written that blog telling the humans what to do for Mother's Day, my humans would have never figured it out for themselves. Humans just don't have that much brain power. I can only hope that other humans read my blog and got great stuff for their dogs thanks to my wisdom. I have to go now so that I can take a nap. This
"great responsibility" stuff makes a dog tired.

Demon Flash Bandit (With Great Blog Comes Great Responsibility)

I'm Planning a Special Mother's Day for my Human Mommy

Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the United States. It is a day set aside to honor our Mothers for all the wonderful things they do for us. I will be honoring my human Mommy who is very good to me. Since she enjoys doing nice things for me, I have the day all planned out for her. First on the agenda is for me to get her up which probably won't happen. Mommy usually gets up before me. This dog does not like to wake up before noon. I'm not a morning dog. I'm sure she will understand, and she can wait to receive my greeting when I finally wake up. That is when the fun will begin. Mommy can run to Burger King or Subway to get me some burgers to eat. This year is the first year that I have added another restaurant besides Burger King to my list so it will be a little more exciting for her this year since she will have a choice. Angel Zoom Smokey is going to allow her to make some chicken because Angel says that she knows Mother's Day would not be complete for Mommy if Angel doesn't have chicken. Then we will get the gifts Mommy has gotten for us. I am sure there will be toys and treats since Mother's Day is a special day, and the only way to celebrate a special day is to give the family dogs gifts! It is even listed in the book of Human-Dog Etiquette that I wrote so you can check and see for yourself that is is proper etiquette for the day. I plan to do some napping so Mommy can sit back and choose a dog movie of her choice because I think Mommy deserves the best in entertainment. When I wake from my nap, Mommy can bring me my usual ice cream, milkbones and rawhide bones which I like to enjoy before I go to bed at night. Yes, as you can see, this will be an exciting day for Mommy. I am so glad that there is a special day set aside for her.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Planning a Mother's Day Celebration)

Angus Burgers at Subway: Delicious!!!!!

Since I was a puppy, I have loved the burgers from Burger King. I think that realm which is ruled by King Burger must be a magical land filled with delicious foods. It is difficult for my humans to even get me to try another burger--until yesterday. Mommy came home with an Angus burger from Subway, and I actually asked for a bite because it smelled so good. I must let my readers know that it tasted as good as it smelled. Finally, I have found another burger that I will eat. For those of you who have not tried it, I would suggest you get one as soon as possible. I am not being paid by Subway for writing this, but I am doing it because a burger that good deserves my praise. I only wish that Mommy had given me her entire burger. She did share, but I would have liked to have eaten the entire sandwich. If you should decide to try one, be sure and ask to have it toasted because I doubt if it would taste as good cold. I even ate the cheese that was on the burger from Subway. Mommy has to order Burger King burgers for me without cheese because I don't like the cheese they use there. I am picky about cheese, and the cheese Burger King uses does not meet my standards!

I might add that Subway has tasty cookies too, but they do not serve the delicious milkshakes that Burger King serves so perhaps the humans running Subway might check into adding them to the menu. One nice thing about Subway is that you can add bacon, and bacon is also very delicious. I have yet to meet a dog who does not like bacon.

I hope that all my readers are getting tasty items to eat.

Demon Flash Bandit (Subway Burgers Are Delicious)