Letter From Queen Lady About Prince Harry

Since Prince Harry is involved in a scandal involving his partying in Las Vegas, Nevada, I can only assume that he did not benefit from the promise, "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas". Perhaps he has a lawsuit against the Las Vegas tourist industry for making that promise. However, I think the real problem is that his friends might not be looking out for his best interests. I'm sure that many of you are wondering what is going on with his grandmother and how she feels about the scandal so I am going to share a letter she wrote me about it. It just happens that the Queen Lady and I are good friends.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
As always, I am glad to hear from my dog pal, and I always appreciate your letters to me. I love the encouragement and advice you offer. As to this recent scandal involving my grandson, Prince Harry, I did appreciate your comment that we humans have such a problem because of our lack of fur. If he had a body full of gorgeous Siberian Husky fur, those photos would not have even gotten the attention of the media. I also want to thank you for your offer to send us some of the fur laying around that you have shed so that we can glue it on ourselves and look more like dogs. However, as you know, no matter how much fur we glue on, no human will ever be as handsome as a dog--particlularly a blue eyed husky like yourself. I do appreciate the offer. I'm sure that you are right about him just forgetting to put on clothes. That kind of thing happens all the time among us humans. If only we were as smart as a dog, we would not face these problems. Anyway, I'm sure it will calm down as soon as someone else in the public eye does something stupid. When dealing with humans, that shouldn't take long. I had a LONG talk with Prince Harry, and I showed him all the clothing he can wear and explained how it works so I'm hoping that this kind of thing won't happen again. I think he understands it now except for the socks. They seem to be giving him some trouble, but who can blame him? Socks are hard to understand. You put them on your feet, but they aren't shoes....it is like the fashion industry only invented them to confuse us humans. As usual, thanks for your support and I'm so grateful to have you as a friend.

Love, Queen Lady (Elizabeth II)

As you can see, Prince Harry did not mean to cause the scandal, and he now has a good grasp of what to do with his clothing. How was he supposed to know you are supposed to wear it? I have never seen a tag suggesting it be worn...the tag only tells you how to wash and dry it. Anyway, I'm glad that this is another problem solved. Remember, what happens in Vegas might not stay in Vegas, and you won't run into similar problems.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Queen Lady's Letter)

Royal Underwear Hats

Today's blog is about something that is near and dear to everyone's hearts. I know it is to mine. It seems that my pal, the Queen Lady (Queen Elizabeth II) has "demoted" Kate Middleton. The Queen has now issued the "curtsy rules". Now, Kate has to bow before blood Princesses, but only if William is not present. If he is present, they have to curtsy to her. I'm so glad that this situation has been solved. Just how awkward would it be to meet someone and not know who is supposed to be curtsying! I did not see the royal dogs listed so I am going to assume that all the humans have to curtsy to them. After all, they are dogs so they are more important than the royal humans. I have to admit that none of us dogs really worry about who has to curtsy to whom. I think this is the major problem with the humans....they worry about things like curtsying. With all the problems in the world, the English royalty are issuing curtsy rules. What is next? Will the Queen tell Kate she can't wear that cool underwear hat she ordered from Hanes? By the way, I checked with some fashion gurus, and they say that men's underwear are the hats to go for. They said women's underwear does not make as funny a hat as does men's so I am giving the advice of experts on my blog. You didn't think I would write a blog without discussing these things with the experts, did you? I am hoping that the entire royal family will wear underwear hats at the same time because it sends that message to their subjects: "yes, we are as crazy as you thought we were". I'm sure that makes the British people rest easier at night knowing that their royalty is wearing the underware hats proudly.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs are The Only Ones Deserving of Royal Treatment)

Pooping Sweater: Fashionable Attire

My human was unavailable to type this for me earlier today so I am typing it with my own paws because this needs to be shared as soon as possible. As my loyal readers already know, I always share wonderful items that can be purchased on the Internet, and I have found one of those products today. It is too good to wait until later today to share when my human has the time so I am doing it now. That product is a pooping sweater. In fact, I am thinking that a dog had to have thought of this wonderful product because it is so cool. The reindeer on the sweater poops out candy. A dog can follow the human wearing this sweater around and have treats falling all over the place! I wish I could have found it earlier and shared it with my readers sooner because this is a great gift for the person who has everything on the Christmas list. I bet most of them don't have a pooping sweater!!!! Sure, it may have "Christmas" theme, but I think this would be a fashion statement anytime of the year. For those who are interested in seeing this delightful item, go to:
http://fashionablygeek.com/jackets/everybody-poops-including-this-christmas-sweater-video/
Tell them Demon Flash Bandit sent you, and they will know that you have excellent taste!

Demon Flash Bandit (Fashion Consultant Dog)

Latest News in Entertainment

I think it is interesting that Disney studies managed to make sure that the anchor from Blackbeard the Pirates ship, Queen Ann's Revenge, was found so close to the opening of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Kudos to Disney for such good timing.

In other entertainment news, rumors are that Pippa Middleton is being courted to be a talk show host. I have no idea why. I also just watched a video that was discussing her choice in fashions and how everyone wants to buy the clothes she is wearing. Sure, she looked nice, but I've seen plenty of humans at Walmart wearing equally nice things so I guess maybe it is something that us dogs just don't understand. The video said that if you want clothing like she is wearing, you had better buy it fast because it is selling out. Considering Pippa's behavior, I think if you hang around her long enough, you can get the clothing free because she always seems to be taking it off. I do have to admit that I have to admire her attitude toward clothes. I think she might be part dog. I refuse to wear clothing too. The main difference is that I do still wear my fur. However, I would not watch a talk show with her on it. I can't imagine her having anything important to say. If the humans want a good talk show host, they should get me. I would be great at that job!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Entertainment)

Delicious Candy Growing on from a Plant!

Since I was discussing fashion yesterday, it brought to mind the many fabrics available for use in the fashion industry. My personal favorite it cotton. This dog thinks cotton is the greatest of all the fabrics. It grows on a plant, and I have decided that I would like to get involved in picking it from the plant. I know there probably wouldn't be much left for making clothing after I'm done eating it. I'm not quite sure how the humans turn a tasty plant into clothing that does not taste good, but the humans are good at ruining good things. This is why I want to pick my own cotton candy. I will admit that I plan to eat all of it I pick and I won't be making any clothes from it, but cotton candy is delicious. All that sugary goodness growing right there on a plant. I'm surprised more humans don't grow it in their gardens, but I think they like to make themselves miserable eating things that they think are "good for them". I say if it tastes good, it is good for me.

Demon Flash Bandit (Candy is Better than Fashion)

Human Fashion Approved by Demon Flash Bandit

Today I have decided to discuss fashion. Of course, this is not dog fashion because, if there is one thing I hate it is having the humans decided to dress me in some ridiculous outfit that they think looks "cute" on me. Of course it looks cute on me, but I am just as cute without it so why bother? The humans spend a great deal of time and money picking out just the right item to wear, and I think I can solve this problem because I have decided to go into the fashion industry myself. I have come up with a plan to make things much easier for the humans in the fashion arena. I have seen some lovely t-shirts with dogs on them. My humans have several Siberian husky shirts, and I think they look bettter than anything else in their closet. It does not have to be a husky, it can be a poodle, or even a chihuahua, but as long as it is a dog, it looks great.

Since humans aren't logical thinkers like us dogs, you have to explain things to them like you would bark to a puppy. I will start with business suits. If they were replaced by dog t-shirts, that person would seem a lot more honest, and other humans would feel better about doing business with them so why are the humans wearing suits when a dog t-shirt would be much better for business? If you meet another human on the street that you don't know, seeing them in a dog t-shirt would make them seem a lot friendlier and more approachable which means that the humans would get along better. T-shirts are comfortable to wear and would help keep the humans cool in warmer weather. As you can see, my idea would bring peace and prosperity to the world, align the planets, and stop global warming. To make sure that the humans get the best looking t-shirts, I am even thinking about putting my face on a t-shirt. What could be better than a Demon Flash Bandit shirt? I can't think of anything better.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Ideas)

Fashion--Pocket Protectors for Dogs

Since so many humans dress their dogs, this dog was wondering if there are any fashions that a dog could wear that might actually be useful. It took a lot of thought because you can basically make a human wear any silly thing as long as other humans want to wear that product. If some fashion guru tells them to walk around carrying a stuffed cat in the hat, you would see cat in the hats everywhere. Thus, a dog knows that most fashionable items are completely unnecessary. Sure, there were the obvious choices like raincoats and sweaters. They can be useful, but I had to wonder--are they the only useful clothing items a dog can wear? It was then that I remembered seeing some photos from the past. Back in the 50's and 60's, a lot of human men wore pocket protectors to protect their shirt pockets from being damaged by leaking pens or small tools. They are still around, but they aren't considered as cool to wear. How can they be as cool as wearing a t shirt with a catchy phrase such as "The Voices in My Head Told Me To"? By the way, if a human is wearing a shirt like that, I think it best not to ask what the voices told him or her to do since you don't want to have to be killed because you know too much. But I digress, the pocket protector is a useful item, and I was wondering--how could one be put to use by a dog? I don't normally wear shirts with pockets, and if I did, I wouldn't be worried about protecting the shirt since I don't want to wear a shirt in the first place. However, I did think of a great way for a dog to use one. If they were made with a little slit where it could be fastened to a dog's collar, it would go from being a pocket protector to being a pocket to carry my rawhide bones. I have yet to meet a dog who doesn't like rawhide bones and who wouldn't mind a way to carry them around with him or her. Yes, I think this product could take the doggy world by storm. The humans do love to spend their money on their dogs. I might add that for those of you humans who would like to buy a pocket protector, you can go to this website, http://www.pocketprotector.com. I want to dedicate this blog to my human brother, Robert, who died of cancer 8 years ago. He loved pocket protectors, and he was a senior at Michigan State University when he died. I never got to meet him, but I know how much my humans miss him. If he thought they were wonderful, this dog is not going to question their value.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Likes to Have Rawhides With Me At All Times)