Today I have decided to discuss fashion. Of course, this is not dog fashion because, if there is one thing I hate it is having the humans decided to dress me in some ridiculous outfit that they think looks "cute" on me. Of course it looks cute on me, but I am just as cute without it so why bother? The humans spend a great deal of time and money picking out just the right item to wear, and I think I can solve this problem because I have decided to go into the fashion industry myself. I have come up with a plan to make things much easier for the humans in the fashion arena. I have seen some lovely t-shirts with dogs on them. My humans have several Siberian husky shirts, and I think they look bettter than anything else in their closet. It does not have to be a husky, it can be a poodle, or even a chihuahua, but as long as it is a dog, it looks great.
Since humans aren't logical thinkers like us dogs, you have to explain things to them like you would bark to a puppy. I will start with business suits. If they were replaced by dog t-shirts, that person would seem a lot more honest, and other humans would feel better about doing business with them so why are the humans wearing suits when a dog t-shirt would be much better for business? If you meet another human on the street that you don't know, seeing them in a dog t-shirt would make them seem a lot friendlier and more approachable which means that the humans would get along better. T-shirts are comfortable to wear and would help keep the humans cool in warmer weather. As you can see, my idea would bring peace and prosperity to the world, align the planets, and stop global warming. To make sure that the humans get the best looking t-shirts, I am even thinking about putting my face on a t-shirt. What could be better than a Demon Flash Bandit shirt? I can't think of anything better.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Ideas)