I was watching an old movie called Stewart Little, and this dog is angry. It seems that Stewart, who happens to be a mouse, has a car and is able to drive around town. I am a dog who has been wanting my own car and driver's license since I was a puppy. I've been told that dogs aren't given licenses to drive. I wasn't happy about that, but I accepted it---until I saw the movie. Why is a mouse given a driver's license and a car when he is a MOUSE!!!! When did mice become more responsible than dogs? Most humans don't even like to have them around yet they are driving around probably causing accidents. What are the humans thinking giving them licenses? My theory is that Mickey Mouse, who must be quite wealthy by now, is buying off the politicians so that mice can legally drive their little mouse cars. This is yet another case of greedy politicians putting their constituents at risk just so they can get some extra money. I think a judge should subpoena their bank accounts to see if they have deposited a large amount of "unaccounted" for cash in their bank account from a depositor in California or Florida. Yes, we know where the big shot mouse gets his money. Isn't it bad enough that mice can run around Disney's parks and dogs aren't allowed? Mickey, I hope you are reading this because this is one dog that can see through your corruption of the system. I will fight to get you and the rest of the mice off the road and back in the garage and attics where you belong!
Demon Flash Bandit (If Dogs Can't Drive, Neither Should Mice)