Calling Phantom Fast Snowman: Stunt Dog!

Mommy bought reindeer antlers for my stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman. Phantom has to do all the annoying stunts that I don't like to do-like wearing costumes and hats. I say if a dog is supposed to have antlers, we would have been born with them! The humans get such ridiculous ideas! For example, just last night, I was licking my paw. I kept licking it until it was bleeding. I wasn't complaining, but my human saw it, and immediately told me to quit licking it. Then she sprayed some stuff on it to make it taste bad so that I would quit licking it. Do the humans never learn? Of course, I continued licking my paw. No silly flavor is going to stop me from doing something I want to do. I'm not licking it now because I'm not in the mood to lick it, but if I were, you can be sure I would be licking it to my heart's content. I happen to think the humans should sit back and let a dog do what a dog has got to do!

I've got to go now. I suspect there are Christmas gifts hidden around here someplace for me and I need to go and sniff them out. There is really no need to wait until Christmas to enjoy a present!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog)

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

It is Christmas Eve, and this dog is excited about all the cool stuff Santa Paws will bring me tomorrow. I want to take this opportunity to give Santa Paws credit for being a nice guy who gives reindeer a second chance. I know I was touched to find that one of the reindeer, Nixon (sometimes mispronounced Dixon), was allowed to put on the antlers and become one of Santa Paws reindeer when he resigned from his Presidential office. I did hear complaints from the other reindeer about him constantly telling them he is not a crook. Cupid, the little guy who shoots the love arrows at humans got tired of doing that and he put on the antlers also. Don't worry--he got a replacement so that the humans will still fall in love. Donner is part of the Donner party so the other reindeer like to stay out of his way--particularly if he looks hungry. Blitzen used to have a drinking problem, but he has managed to keep it under control since joining Santa Paw's team. It would be nice if I could say the same thing about Rudolph, but you know it isn't true--why else would his nose be so red?

My human brother Jeff is busy talking about the actors that he is planning to cast as reindeer because he is planning to compete with Santa Paws. I'm sure if Johnny Depp was offered a part playing a reindeer, he would take it. He seems to enjoy playing odd characters. I just hope he is warned to stay away from Donner if he is offered such a part.

I only have on thing to add: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR from Demon Flash Bandit!!!!!!!