Superman has renounced his United States citizenship. Yes, it was in the news yesterday. I think that Donald Trump and the birther's constant yapping about President Obama not actually being born in the United States despite the question already being settled before he took office has finally made Superman take a preemptive strike. I'm sure the reason he denounced his citizenship is because he knows that he is going to be Trump's next target. This dog can't understand why Trump keeps going on about it because Trump can't possibly be a U. S. citizen himself. Have you seen that hair? He has to be an alien from another planet with hair like that because it is not human. Sure, Clark Kent is still a citizen; but that is because he keeps a low profile so no one notices him. Officially, he was born on Krypton; but he keeps that very quiet. I know Superman has no plans to run for political office, but I'm sure Donald Trump will find some excuse to harass him. It seems that nothing ever makes the
Trump quiet.
When Obama released his birth certificate, then Trump decided to question his intelligence, and insinuated that he didn't deserve the degree from the ivy league schools he attended. This is very amusing to me because if the parents have enough money to donate, the stupid rich kids can get an ivy league degree. George W. Bush had a degree from Yale, which is an ivy league school I have yet to hear anyone say that George W. Bush was a genius because he was not. This dog had doubts that he had enough sense to come in out of the rain, but that is true of most humans so I am not insulting him. If you want intelligent leadership, the humans should vote for a dog. We are so much smarter than the humans, and I can prove it. Most of us sit around the house all day, playing and sleeping, and the humans feed us and take care of us. If you want my opinion, that is true genius. I think Trump should quit yapping and let his dog do the talking for him. Then and only then would something be said that is worth saying!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Should be in Charge)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
I Didn't Attend the Royal Wedding
Since I chose not to attend the royal wedding, I also chose not to watch it. I do have a letter to share with you from the Queen Lady regarding my lack of attendance.
Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
The royal wedding of my grandson yesterday went well, but it would have been so much better if you had attended. We never realized that when we didn't invite Bo Obama, first dog, that you would take offense and not attend. We were so looking forward to you because, as you know, you were our most important guest. The media was very upset when they asked where you would be sitting, and we had to tell them that you had declined our invitation. I have to admit that I didn't expect you to decline the invitation since most people will not turn down a royal invitation, but we failed to take into consideration you would stand by your fellow dog, Bo. I do hope that we can continue to be friends because being your friend means a lot to me and my family.
Love, Queen Lady Elizabeth
For those who want to know what I replied, I am going to include my reply.
Dear Queen Lady,
I do appreciate the wedding invitation, and I am glad that it went well. I would have attended had you included Bo Obama, but when you omit the first dog, then as a patriotic American dog, I cannot in good conscience attend the event. I understand that the wedding would have been a lot better had I been there, but this is something you should have realized before you omitted Bo Obama.
Actually, I'm surprised the royal family has even managed to survive all these years what with all the inbreeding in past generations. Some people in the United States do that, but they usually don't get the opportunity to run the country. Sure, sometimes they are allowed to run a fast food franchise or a gas station, but seldom the entire country. Judging from the success of recent royal marriages, it even takes the "fairy tale" out of the equation since, in fairy tales, the couple lives happily ever after--not divorced. I will admit that I never realized what a rich country Britain happens to be until I saw how much money your family has to live on. I have to tell you that you wouldn't like the welfare system here in the United States because the tax payers won't allow a family to draw so much money from the government. Kudos to your welfare system there.
Don't worry about us being friends. I'm glad that you understood why I could not attend the royal wedding, and I do hope the couple will be very happy together. Happiness doesn't seem to be too prevalent in your family which is very sad.
Love, Demon Flash Bandit
Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
The royal wedding of my grandson yesterday went well, but it would have been so much better if you had attended. We never realized that when we didn't invite Bo Obama, first dog, that you would take offense and not attend. We were so looking forward to you because, as you know, you were our most important guest. The media was very upset when they asked where you would be sitting, and we had to tell them that you had declined our invitation. I have to admit that I didn't expect you to decline the invitation since most people will not turn down a royal invitation, but we failed to take into consideration you would stand by your fellow dog, Bo. I do hope that we can continue to be friends because being your friend means a lot to me and my family.
Love, Queen Lady Elizabeth
For those who want to know what I replied, I am going to include my reply.
Dear Queen Lady,
I do appreciate the wedding invitation, and I am glad that it went well. I would have attended had you included Bo Obama, but when you omit the first dog, then as a patriotic American dog, I cannot in good conscience attend the event. I understand that the wedding would have been a lot better had I been there, but this is something you should have realized before you omitted Bo Obama.
Actually, I'm surprised the royal family has even managed to survive all these years what with all the inbreeding in past generations. Some people in the United States do that, but they usually don't get the opportunity to run the country. Sure, sometimes they are allowed to run a fast food franchise or a gas station, but seldom the entire country. Judging from the success of recent royal marriages, it even takes the "fairy tale" out of the equation since, in fairy tales, the couple lives happily ever after--not divorced. I will admit that I never realized what a rich country Britain happens to be until I saw how much money your family has to live on. I have to tell you that you wouldn't like the welfare system here in the United States because the tax payers won't allow a family to draw so much money from the government. Kudos to your welfare system there.
Don't worry about us being friends. I'm glad that you understood why I could not attend the royal wedding, and I do hope the couple will be very happy together. Happiness doesn't seem to be too prevalent in your family which is very sad.
Love, Demon Flash Bandit
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Pool Playing Dog
Many of my readers are familiar with the painting, "dogs playing poker" because it is the most famous painting in history. All the art museums want to include it in their collections. Today I am going to share the link to a video which reminds me of that painting except it is a real dog. The dog is playing pool, and is quite talented at the game. The link is:
http://pettube.com/The%20hustler .
If the royal family had not slighted the first dog, Bo Obama, I would be attending the royal wedding tomorrow. Since I am not going, don't expect it to be too big an event. The humans aren't talented at making an event enjoyable and depend on us dogs to make it fun.
On a personal note, I would like to ask my readers to pray for the people in Ringgold, Georgia because part of the town was devastated by tornadoes. Mommy has relatives and friends there, and would appreciate the prayers of my readers for those people.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Do Everything Better than Humans)
http://pettube.com/The%20hustler .
If the royal family had not slighted the first dog, Bo Obama, I would be attending the royal wedding tomorrow. Since I am not going, don't expect it to be too big an event. The humans aren't talented at making an event enjoyable and depend on us dogs to make it fun.
On a personal note, I would like to ask my readers to pray for the people in Ringgold, Georgia because part of the town was devastated by tornadoes. Mommy has relatives and friends there, and would appreciate the prayers of my readers for those people.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Do Everything Better than Humans)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Amenhotep III
Archaeologists (or their dogs) have recently made a big discovery in the city of Luxor. They found a statue of Amenhotep III which is 42 feet tall. I think this explains how the Pharaohs gained power in Egypt. If a 42 feet tall human says to do something, I think most of the shorter people are going to listen to him.
This statue is one of a pair that were on each side of the northern entrance to the grand funerary temple. Amenhotep III is missing his head, but I think that can easily be explained by an encounter with that Mummy that is always running around in the Mummy movies. Even a tall Pharaoh would have problems dealing with a Mummy. Amenhotep III ruled in the 14th century BC and was the grandfather of King Tutankhamen, the boy king. This was at the height of the New Kingdom, but it was still a very long time ago. In my opinion, ancient Egypt was a great kingdom because they valued their dogs. Any humans who love their dogs and treat them well get my paw of approval. I doubt that I would have enjoyed living in Egypt since I am a sled dog, and I'm not fond of hot weather, and Egypt gets a lot of hot weather. However, there were many breeds who were very happy there. I do wonder if there were some really big dogs there since the Pharaoh was 42 feet tall. I am going to assume that they hadn't invented ceiling fans back then or he would have been nervous anytime he entered a room where one was on. Anyway, I am quite sure that the archaeologists' dogs found this statue, and I'm sure the humans, as usual, took the credit for it. However, it is okay since most of us dogs don't get that excited over old statues unless they are made out of dingo bones. By the way, I think the Luxor pyramid is in Las Vegas, Nevada so I hope those archaeologists know where they are. Another interesting thought: you would think that a 42 foot tall statue would be hard to lose.....humans!!!
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing An Archaeological Find)
This statue is one of a pair that were on each side of the northern entrance to the grand funerary temple. Amenhotep III is missing his head, but I think that can easily be explained by an encounter with that Mummy that is always running around in the Mummy movies. Even a tall Pharaoh would have problems dealing with a Mummy. Amenhotep III ruled in the 14th century BC and was the grandfather of King Tutankhamen, the boy king. This was at the height of the New Kingdom, but it was still a very long time ago. In my opinion, ancient Egypt was a great kingdom because they valued their dogs. Any humans who love their dogs and treat them well get my paw of approval. I doubt that I would have enjoyed living in Egypt since I am a sled dog, and I'm not fond of hot weather, and Egypt gets a lot of hot weather. However, there were many breeds who were very happy there. I do wonder if there were some really big dogs there since the Pharaoh was 42 feet tall. I am going to assume that they hadn't invented ceiling fans back then or he would have been nervous anytime he entered a room where one was on. Anyway, I am quite sure that the archaeologists' dogs found this statue, and I'm sure the humans, as usual, took the credit for it. However, it is okay since most of us dogs don't get that excited over old statues unless they are made out of dingo bones. By the way, I think the Luxor pyramid is in Las Vegas, Nevada so I hope those archaeologists know where they are. Another interesting thought: you would think that a 42 foot tall statue would be hard to lose.....humans!!!
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing An Archaeological Find)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Barking--Simpler Than Most Human Words
Gas prices have been going up where I live which is probably true all over the world. In fact, as soon as a barrel goes up in price, the local gas stations start raising the prices. On the other paw, when the gas prices go down per barrel, it takes quite a while for the savings to show up at the local gas stations. Since it is always important to have a dog look into these kinds of situations, I decided I would check into it to see why the prices take so long to go down. I came to the conclusion that they don't come down very fast because the longer they stay up, the more money the owner of the local gas station brings in. Of course, I have to admit that I am not an economist so maybe that kind of common sense thinking isn't really what happens so it was nice to see that there was an item in today's news explaining why it happens. Sam Peltzman, a free market economist, studied this phenomenon, and he came to the conclusion that prices don't go down as fast as they go up so that the business man who owns the gas station (and possibly the distributors) can make more money. Most of the humans call this "price gouging", but the economists now call it "asymmetrical price adjustment". Have you ever noticed how the humans always manage to come up with a complicated sounding title to anything that they don't want to admit is happening? It is the same reason that some humans refer to giving a dog a bath as a "day at the spa". You can fool the humans with that kind of nonsense, but you can't fool a dog. If we have to get wet and get dog shampoo all over our fur, it is a bath. I don't care what you call it, most dogs won't like it, and that includes myself. If dogs were supposed to have baths, we would have been born with shower caps. If only dogs ran the world, it would be a much simpler place, and you would not need complicated words because a few barks would explain everything.
Demon Flash Bandit (Barks--Better Than Words)
Demon Flash Bandit (Barks--Better Than Words)
Monday, April 25, 2011
I Would Prefer Guests Not Be Alligators or Snakes
Because I am a sled dog, I love a lot of snow during the winter. As I have mentioned in past entries, my human Mommy does not share that love of snow and winter. In fact, I have overheard her talking about moving to Florida so that she won't have to deal with snow and ice in the future. Of course, I have been doing everything I can to persuade her to quit thinking about moving. I think things are wonderful here in Michigan, and the only move that should even be considered would be to an even colder place--like Alaska. Today I found a news article from Florida that I had to make sure Mommy would see. I think this news item might make snow look a lot better to her.
The story is from Palmetto, Florida. Alexis Dunbar returned to her home to find an alligator occupying the guest bedroom. It is assumed that the alligator crawled into the house from the pond in the back yard and entered the house through the doggy door. I think the alligator did show that he was very polite because he could have stayed in the master bedroom, but he was polite enough to go to the guest bedroom which tends to be the smaller of the two rooms. Although he was a polite guest, I do understand that I would not want an alligator in my house either. They do have some big teeth, and they might decide to eat the host or the host's dog. I'm hoping that this news article will make Mommy realize that it is better to wake up to snow on the ground outside than to an alligator in your bedroom. Florida also has a lot of poisonous snakes, and if an alligator can get inside your house, it would be even easier for a snake to get in. I think snow will start looking better and better to Mommy, but it is hard to tell. As all us dogs know, humans aren't always as smart or practical as we are.
Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Alligators and Snakes)
The story is from Palmetto, Florida. Alexis Dunbar returned to her home to find an alligator occupying the guest bedroom. It is assumed that the alligator crawled into the house from the pond in the back yard and entered the house through the doggy door. I think the alligator did show that he was very polite because he could have stayed in the master bedroom, but he was polite enough to go to the guest bedroom which tends to be the smaller of the two rooms. Although he was a polite guest, I do understand that I would not want an alligator in my house either. They do have some big teeth, and they might decide to eat the host or the host's dog. I'm hoping that this news article will make Mommy realize that it is better to wake up to snow on the ground outside than to an alligator in your bedroom. Florida also has a lot of poisonous snakes, and if an alligator can get inside your house, it would be even easier for a snake to get in. I think snow will start looking better and better to Mommy, but it is hard to tell. As all us dogs know, humans aren't always as smart or practical as we are.
Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Alligators and Snakes)
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Demon Flash Bandit: Master of Paw Fu
The Colbert Report has done a report about a new form of martial arts called cane fu. You can watch the video at:
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/231612/june-22-2009/the-enemy-within---cane-fu .
Supposedly, cane fu can turn senior citizens into "killing machines". My own human mommy uses a cane so this would be a new way for her to protect herself when I'm not around to do it for her. However, if you watch the video, it looks like the man who demonstrates the cane fu really does not need the cane. For those who really need a cane, I think if you quit using it as a crutch, that person just might fall down. Fallling does not seem to be a good offensive move to me. I also think that the man doing the demonstrating seemed way too excited about how badly you could hurt another person with a cane. I'm guessing there will be a whole new line of "attack canes" for the humans who want a cane that does more damage than a regular cane. I'm just worried about one thing. Some of the senior citizens have trouble remembering things. If they do manage to remember to use the cane as a weapon, will they remember who the enemy happens to be or will they be attacking everyone? I guess only time will tell. I happen to be a master of Paw Fu which is when you take your paw and smack your enemy with it. I learned it from Angel Zoom Smokey who is always dispensing puppy slaps of justice.
I want to wish all my readers a Happy Easter!!!!
Demon Flash Bandit (Master of Paw Fu)
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/231612/june-22-2009/the-enemy-within---cane-fu .
Supposedly, cane fu can turn senior citizens into "killing machines". My own human mommy uses a cane so this would be a new way for her to protect herself when I'm not around to do it for her. However, if you watch the video, it looks like the man who demonstrates the cane fu really does not need the cane. For those who really need a cane, I think if you quit using it as a crutch, that person just might fall down. Fallling does not seem to be a good offensive move to me. I also think that the man doing the demonstrating seemed way too excited about how badly you could hurt another person with a cane. I'm guessing there will be a whole new line of "attack canes" for the humans who want a cane that does more damage than a regular cane. I'm just worried about one thing. Some of the senior citizens have trouble remembering things. If they do manage to remember to use the cane as a weapon, will they remember who the enemy happens to be or will they be attacking everyone? I guess only time will tell. I happen to be a master of Paw Fu which is when you take your paw and smack your enemy with it. I learned it from Angel Zoom Smokey who is always dispensing puppy slaps of justice.
I want to wish all my readers a Happy Easter!!!!
Demon Flash Bandit (Master of Paw Fu)
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