Letter From Former Pres. George W. Bush

I get many letters from celebrities, and this is a drawing from former President, George W. Bush which he included with his letter. It is a drawing of Dick Cheney and George W. having a fun little peeing contest. I never thought of W as an intelligent man. However, I have to admit that, given a choice between this contest and going hunting with Cheney, I think he made a wise decision. Hunting with Cheney can get you shot in the face. The question mark is done by the artist probably because the artist had NO idea why he was being asked to draw them. I will share his letter with my readers.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,

I'm glad to see a dawg writing a blog on the Interneted. I don't know what I would have done wethout my dogs when I was in office. When it came time to make the big derisions, I always left them up to the dawgs. I am enopening a pitcher of Dick Cheney and meself doing some impoortant Wite Hous Stuff when I was President. Feel free to shair this pitcher with your readers. I am a big fan, and I hope your blog continues to do well. I am hoping one day to go from being a fan to being an air conditioner!

Love, Gorjze W. Buzh (I think that is how I spell it.)

It was very pleasant hearing from our former President, and I'm glad that, judging from the improvement in the spelling of his name, he is learning a lot. Thank dog for spell check. I don't think I would have been able to interpret his letters to me without it. Let's just say, spelling isn't his strong suit and neither is math, science, etc. He is a very nice guy though, and I'm happy to see him back in Texas.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Another Celebrity Letter)

Worst People List from Russellville, Arkansas

The Russellville Middle School in Arkansas published their yearbook which has some parents highly upset. It turns out that there was a list of The Worst People, and the list had 5 names. The first was Adolph Hitler, the second was Osama Bin Laden, the third was Charles Manson, the fourth was George W. Bush and the fifth was Dick Cheney. It sounds to this dog like the students at that school took their "freedom of speech" very seriously. I can only assume the reason those parents are upset is because they thought that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney should have been at the top of the list. Personally, I don't think George W. Bush is really the "worst man", but I would definitely list him at the top of an "incompetent president" list. Dick Cheney on the other paw has worked hard to be as "unpleasant" as possible. He was in and out of hospitals where the doctors kept looking in vain to find his heart. With all that medical school behind them, they should have realized that you can't find something that doesn't exist. The school tried to solve the problem by putting tape over the two names, but the parents complained that you can remove the tape. If you are a parent and you find it offensive, why would you bother to remove the tape? Are these humans who just don't have enough problems in their lives so they have to try to find more? I thought this was the most hilarious news item I've seen in a long time. I have a word of advice for anyone who is aspiring to run for a major political office in the United States (or any other country for that matter), if you don't have a sense of humor, don't run. No matter who you are or what you do in life, everyone is not going to like you. It is hard to believe, but there are humans who don't like dogs or even puppies! I have no idea why a human wouldn't love a dog--we are the humans best friends, but it happens. This is why a sense of humor is important for aspiring politicians. There will always be humans who don't like them so it is best to find some humor and continue working to make things better.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Freedom of Speech)

I Want to See Donald Trump's Birth Certificate!

Superman has renounced his United States citizenship. Yes, it was in the news yesterday. I think that Donald Trump and the birther's constant yapping about President Obama not actually being born in the United States despite the question already being settled before he took office has finally made Superman take a preemptive strike. I'm sure the reason he denounced his citizenship is because he knows that he is going to be Trump's next target. This dog can't understand why Trump keeps going on about it because Trump can't possibly be a U. S. citizen himself. Have you seen that hair? He has to be an alien from another planet with hair like that because it is not human. Sure, Clark Kent is still a citizen; but that is because he keeps a low profile so no one notices him. Officially, he was born on Krypton; but he keeps that very quiet. I know Superman has no plans to run for political office, but I'm sure Donald Trump will find some excuse to harass him. It seems that nothing ever makes the
Trump quiet.

When Obama released his birth certificate, then Trump decided to question his intelligence, and insinuated that he didn't deserve the degree from the ivy league schools he attended. This is very amusing to me because if the parents have enough money to donate, the stupid rich kids can get an ivy league degree. George W. Bush had a degree from Yale, which is an ivy league school I have yet to hear anyone say that George W. Bush was a genius because he was not. This dog had doubts that he had enough sense to come in out of the rain, but that is true of most humans so I am not insulting him. If you want intelligent leadership, the humans should vote for a dog. We are so much smarter than the humans, and I can prove it. Most of us sit around the house all day, playing and sleeping, and the humans feed us and take care of us. If you want my opinion, that is true genius. I think Trump should quit yapping and let his dog do the talking for him. Then and only then would something be said that is worth saying!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Should be in Charge)

Zombie Ants and Zombie Aunts

Today's subject is about something of major importance for our survival here on Earth. I don't know how many of you are worried about the threat of zombie attack, but I am posting a link to the Youtube video of former President, George W. Bush discussing this possibility with a reporter. For those of you who think that zombies are only fictional creatures that you see in television and movies, it is scientific fact that zombies exist. National Geographic magazine has covered zombie ants. These ants are in Brazil, and they have their mind taken over by a parasitic fungus that affects their behavior. The fungus is a newfound species, Ophiocordyceps Camponoti-balzani. You know it is real because I'm not creative enough to come up with such a long, silly name for a fungus. Once the fungus affects the ants, it releases chemicals that make the ant find a location that is best for the fungus. Then the ant grabs hold of the leaf (the fungus likes leaves), and holds the leaf in a death grip until the ant dies. This fungus was discovered by entomologist (a bug expert for those who don't like big, fancy titles), David Hughes.

This brings me to an important point. If this fungus is affecting the behavior of ants, it is only logical that it could be affecting aunts too. I have one aunt in particular that I suspect has fallen victim to this fungus and became a zombie because she likes to spend most of her time sleeping. That sounds like zombie behavior to me.

Since it can affect aunts, and they are human, this explains why the aforementioned video with George W. Bush is so important. While the humans are worrying about things that will never happen, zombies could be plotting their takeover of the world. If Dick Cheney isn't a zombie, I don't know who is.

Here is the link for the Youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoXgRtDysLY

Demon Flash Bandit (Warning About Zombies)