Here I Go Awaffling

I wrote about Walmart yesterday and the violence at some of the Black Friday sales. The customers at a Walmart in Arkansas got into a riot over some $2.00 waffle makers. Do the humans in Arkansas not know that they make frozen waffles which are popped into the toaster and ready in about a minute with no preparation and no clean up? It is almost like the humans want to work more. I am lucky to have intelligent humans who know how to do things properly. If they want waffles around here, they go to the freezer, pop them into the toaster, and put them on a disposable plate. Yes, there is a dishwasher in the kitchen, but using it would require loading and unloading and putting things away. To be fair, when my human was in better shape, she used to do stupid things like make her own stuff, but now she says she is questioning the wisdom of all the extra work she did in her youth in order to save money...like disposable plates are that expensive. I could have told her these things had I been around back then, but Mommy is a lot older than I am so she had to go with her own wisdom, and let's face it, compared to dogs, the humans are idiots! By the way, she has discovered when maple syrup rose in price that caramel sauce meant for ice cream makes a great topping for waffles. I'm pleased that she can figure some things out for herself. I like the caramel sauce too...but I'm also a fan of maple syrup. Both are delicious-even by themselves!

Demon Flash Bandit (Waffling)

Worst People List from Russellville, Arkansas

The Russellville Middle School in Arkansas published their yearbook which has some parents highly upset. It turns out that there was a list of The Worst People, and the list had 5 names. The first was Adolph Hitler, the second was Osama Bin Laden, the third was Charles Manson, the fourth was George W. Bush and the fifth was Dick Cheney. It sounds to this dog like the students at that school took their "freedom of speech" very seriously. I can only assume the reason those parents are upset is because they thought that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney should have been at the top of the list. Personally, I don't think George W. Bush is really the "worst man", but I would definitely list him at the top of an "incompetent president" list. Dick Cheney on the other paw has worked hard to be as "unpleasant" as possible. He was in and out of hospitals where the doctors kept looking in vain to find his heart. With all that medical school behind them, they should have realized that you can't find something that doesn't exist. The school tried to solve the problem by putting tape over the two names, but the parents complained that you can remove the tape. If you are a parent and you find it offensive, why would you bother to remove the tape? Are these humans who just don't have enough problems in their lives so they have to try to find more? I thought this was the most hilarious news item I've seen in a long time. I have a word of advice for anyone who is aspiring to run for a major political office in the United States (or any other country for that matter), if you don't have a sense of humor, don't run. No matter who you are or what you do in life, everyone is not going to like you. It is hard to believe, but there are humans who don't like dogs or even puppies! I have no idea why a human wouldn't love a dog--we are the humans best friends, but it happens. This is why a sense of humor is important for aspiring politicians. There will always be humans who don't like them so it is best to find some humor and continue working to make things better.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Freedom of Speech)

You Are Welcome

I am going to share one of the "headlines" on msn.com news today. It says, birds in trouble? You bet. Here's why: The reason is because of me, Demon Flash Bandit. Of course, that isn't what they put in the article, but all of us know who is responsible for the public service. I have been alerting all dogs and all the humans who will listen to reason that birds are plotting to take over the world. Those birds thought they could get by with stealing my snow and singing about it, but they were wrong. This dog is fluent in bird, and I know what they are saying. I proceeded to warn others, and an army of dogs is watching for birds. I'm still talking with Bo Obama, who is trying to get the United States to declare war on the little feathered varmints. Even the first dog has trouble getting the humans to listen! Now, in addition to the dead birds in Arkansas and Louisiana, there are dead birds in Kentucky and Sweden. Vietnam has 150 tons of red tipala dead and Britain has lost 40,000 crabs (which is probably a good thing since no one enjoys being around grouches). There is also a paralysis virus affecting crickets. This is affecting the pet supply industry since most of these crickets are sold to pet supply places to feed snakes. It seems to me that a paralysis virus would be a good thing. If the cricket is paralyzed, it would make it harder for him to hop away from the dinner plate. One in six bird species is in danger of extinction. Yes, I have done my job well. My snow will be safe! By the way, I know how much everyone appreciates my work and my response would be to tell everyone: you are welcome!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Birds)

Bye, Bye Blackbirds!

Bark about a new year starting out great for a dog--1,000 red winged black birds have fallen from the sky dead in Beebe, Arkansas as I discussed in a previous blog. Now it seems that the amount was underestimated. The latest news says it was 4,000 to 5,000. Today the news has another story about birds falling dead in Pointe Coupee parish, Louisiana. This time the number is 500, and they are red winged black birds and starlings. I have been playing an old song all day---Bye Bye Blackbird. Of course, when I sing along it is a more upbeat, happy song. I can't think of anything this dog loves more than saying goodbye to those evil snow stealing birds!

Pawnation has an article about people paying $100,000 to clone their dogs. This dog thinks it would make a lot more sense to just buy or adopt another dog that needs a home. I personally don't think a clone would ever be just like the original because, whether human or canine, an individual is also shaped by the events in their lives, and it would be impossible to have the exact same events happen. Things do change with time, and the individuals react to those changes so I just don't see how a clone could ever be an exact duplicate of the original. Besides, the dogs who have passed on tell me that paradise is on the other side of the bridge and the Burger King is free and all a dog can eat!

It is time for me to get back to singing Bye, Bye Blackbird!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dead Bird Count Up)