Mommy is up early and she is already dressed so this dog suspects that she is planning to go somewhere. Of course, as usual, the humans seldom remember to ask a dog's approval of their plans. I heard Greenfield Village and Henry Ford Museum mentioned to Jeff so I bet that is where she is planning to go. Mommy's cousin is here from North Carolina, but if you ask me, I think she and her cousin would have more fun if they took Angel Zoom Smokey and myself to a dog park. As you might have guessed, the humans don't enjoy dogs parks as much as dogs enjoy them. I contend that it is because they have a general lack of good taste. Mommy says we are lucky because the humans hardly ever leave us by ourselves. We actually have a human brother who comes over and "dogsits" us. Yesterday he came over (he was visiting--not dog sitting), and he brought us new dog toys. I have to admit that I'm actually quite proud of my humans. I trained them well. I had to start when I was a puppy, and they were slow learners, but I did do an excellent job. They are proof that humans can be trained--but it takes a lot of dedication and hard work since they aren't as smart as us dogs.

Demon Flash Bandit (Proud Dog)

ComicCon: Dogs Should Be Allowed to Attend

My human brother, Jeff is not here with me today. He is at the ComicCon in Novi, Michigan. He goes there every year. They have celebrities there to sign autographs. This dog has to announce that I am not impressed with the celebrities that come to the convention. The dogs from Snow Dogs and Eight Below have never made an appearance to give their pawtographs nor have the dogs from Air Bud, Air Buddies, or any of the other movie dogs that this dog would like to meet. Adam West will be there. Do the people running that convention really think television's Batman or mayor from Family Guy is better than a celebrity dog? If I was going to book a character from Family Guy, I would have booked Brian or if I was going for a human, that Stewie character. Do you know how hard it is for a baby to play that role? Most babies aren't able to do much of anything so Stewie's character is truly gifted.

I hate to report this fact, but dogs aren't allowed at the ComicCon. Yes, you read correctly--dogs are not allowed (unless of course, they are service dogs). I suppose this is why they don't book celebrity dogs--they are biased against dogs. They let all sorts of weird looking characters into the convention. Mommy says she has seen Storm Troopers and even Darth Vader, but dogs aren't allowed! If you ask me, the people running it must be insane. Who would want to let someone as evil as Darth Vader enter and refuse entry to a super cute dog? Maybe he is using that mind power Jedi trick on them or maybe they are afraid of him, but it is wrong--just plain wrong. One day, I am going to have a DogCon, and I'm not going to let the humans enter unless they are service humans. That will teach the humans to be prejudiced against us dogs.

Demon Flash Bandit (Could Give Pawtographs at the ComicCon If I Were ALLOWED)

Don't Spy On A Dog!

I have some good news for readers who live in Texas and shop at Costco. I am on Arctic Paws email list because they make Yummy Chummies, and they are wonderful dog treats. Anyway, yesterday I got an email saying that they are shipping a large order of them to Costcos in Texas next month. I wonder how long it would take a dog to get to Texas from Michigan.

Today I am going to discuss cameras. I don't mind cameras if they take a photo of a dog looking cute for the humans to ooh and aah over. However, when the camera is one of those web cams that can take videos of a dog doing something he isn't supposed to do, that is a different matter. The worst part of the web cam is that they are broadcast via the Internet to humans all over the world who can actually see a dog when he is getting into trouble. If they could stick to a cat cam (a web cam that shows a cat getting into trouble), dogs would be okay with that. However, we don't need to have the whole world see us decide to get the human food off the counter, or see us eat a piece of furniture. This whole web cam idea is one that should have been stopped before it was started. Fortunately, I am a good dog who doesn't get into trouble, but a dog has to watch out for other dogs. If you are a dog, and a web cam is brought into the house, throw it in the trash immediately. If a new computer with a built in web cam is brought home, find a way to disable the camera--even if you can only put something over it so that it can't see anything. I suggest putting a paw in front of it, and then put on a sign that says talk to the paw. That should teach the humans to spy on a dog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan Of Web Cams)

Not All Peanuts are Edible

I have no idea which humans have been put in charge of naming things, but the one who named Styrofoam peanuts either had a very odd sense of humor or they were having a serious lack of touch with reality. Real peanuts are quite tasty and this dog likes to eat them, but Styrofoam peanuts aren't even edible. I'm not talking about the inedible stuff that is quite tasty, but the humans don't want a dog to eat--you know like a dead bird. Those Styrofoam things could make you sick if you eat them. Why the idiot who named them called them peanuts if beyond me. Maybe it was just way past their lunch time and they were really hungry, but I still think it is a stupid name.


For those of you who saw the movie, Bolt, he was a super dog who had his powers taken by Styrofoam peanuts--they were like Kryptonite for Superman. Bolt even had his paw bleed once he was exposed to them! If you haven't seen the movie, Bolt, you should. It was a great movie, and got this dog's 4 paws up and a happy tail wag.

The stupidest thing about the Styrofoam peanuts is that they are routinely used in packages, and I have yet to meet a human who likes them when they open a package since they tend to fall out and have to be picked up. If they used real peanuts, I would eat the ones that fall and there would be no problem, but those things taste awful. You would think they are made from Styrofoam, which might explain why they are called Styrofoam peanuts. I guess one part of the name is accurate and one part is totally and completely inaccurate. If I knew who was in charge of giving them such a stupid name, I would fire them from their naming job. Yes, you heard me, I would fire them. They are obviously being paid too much for what they do.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan Of Styrofoam Peanuts)

Genius Human Invention

Today my topic is about one of the greatest inventions ever invented by the humans. That invention is the tablecloth. Sure, it is an invention whose genius is often overlooked by humans, but dogs think it is the most intelligent invention ever created. When the humans put food on the table for dinner (or any other meal for that matter), the dog is standing aside hoping to get his or her share of the human food. Sure, a dog my size can easily put my paws on the table, and reach the food, but then the humans tend to get mad at the dog. You would think the dog was stealing food from the table the way they carry on about it. However, when a table has a tablecloth under the food, the dog simply puts the cloth in his or her mouth, and pulls. Instant food for the dog, and he didn't put his paws on the table or reach for food or anything--the food chose to come to the dog. The dog gets some delightful human food, and the dog cannot be held accountable. You may hear the human saying "bad tablecloth, bad tablecloth", but it is not a dog's fault that there is a bad tablecloth in the house. As I said, the tablecloth is the best human invention ever--just ask any dog. Just make sure you don't invite a magician over for dinner. Those jerks can pull the tablecloth from the table and leave the food on the table. I bet no dogs ever invite them for dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit (Giving the Humans Credit for Their Brilliant Invention)

Guarding Bones

Mommy has a lot of seasons of that television show, CSI (Canines Sniffing Items), which I have watched along with her. I might add for a show that is supposed to be about dogs sniffing things, there doesn't seem to be any dogs in the episodes. I can only assume that the humans are playing the parts of dogs since dogs would be so expensive to hire that it might make the program cost too much to film. I do think the human actors aren't doing a good job since I never see them sniffing around like they are supposed to be doing. However, the show did have one thing that I got my interest. It seems that when a crime has been committed, the police have this wonderful yellow tape they put around the scene which tells everyone else to stay away. I managed to get myself some of that tape. If a dog wants to get it without having to buy it, I would suggest going out in the neighborhood with the children who are going for trick or treat on Halloween. A lot of humans use it for decorating, and you can score some crime scene tape, and get some candy in the deal---the humans think you are a kid wearing a dog costume.

You might ask me, Demon Flash Bandit, why would you want crime scene tape? There is an excellent answer to this question. The tape tells people to stay away, and I wanted Angel Zoom Smokey to stay away from my rawhide bones and toys. I gathered up all the toys and rawhide bones I could find in the house, and I got a box of milk bones out of the kitchen cabinets, and I put the crime tape around my stuff, and now Angel Zoom Smokey can't cross the tape or she could be arrested. So far, she has stayed away, but she is getting a bit mouthy so I might have to have a couple of policemen come by the house and talk to her or maybe get her in one of those "scared straight" programs where they take the potential criminal to see actual prisoners. A dog can't be too careful when it comes to a dog's possessions!

I might add that I have been told by other dogs that crime scenes are great places to score some new bones. The dogs told me that the most important part is to get to the crime scene before the police get there because, once they put the tape up, forget it--a dog can't cross the tape. This makes me wonder why Dexter, television's serial killer doesn't have a dog to help him clean up the crime scene. What better way to dispose of a body? When a dog gets a new bone, that dog doesn't tend to ask questions--what if you don't like the answer?

Demon Flash Bandit (Crime Scene Tape--Buy it if You Have to)

Bacon--Always Welcome!

Is there anything better than waking up to the smell of sizzling bacon cooking on the stove? The answer, of course, is eating the bacon that you are smelling. This dog is very fond of bacon so you can imagine my excitement when I found that there are other Internet users who feel as I do about the subject of bacon. If y0u love bacon as much as I do, here is a site for you to go to on the Internet: http://www.bacontoday.com/ '

This site even has a story about a Star Wars AT-AT made entirely our of foam and 40 pounds of bacon--I would sure love to get my paws on that AT-AT. Actually, I would like to get my mouth onto it--I bet it would be tasty!

I would like to mention that there is a new amusement park opening in San Antonio, Texas, Morgan's Wonderland. This amusement park is designed for the disabled, and this dog thinks the people who decided to open it are doing something very good. For those who might be interested in going there and want more information, the web address is:
http://www.morganswonderland.com/

Now, when is a human going to design an amusement park for dogs? I think Angel Zoom Smokey and myself should have a place to go. We aren't allowed in the park run by that Mouse in Florida and California. Sure, let a mouse run loose and ban dogs. That doesn't seem fair to me, and even cats agree with me on that. Cats aren't fond of mice anyway--except for dinner and snacks.LOL

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoys Bacon)