Ultimate Human Tease

I decided to go into the kitchen and cook myself some food. I opened the refrigerator (okay, that is one door I have not yet conquered so I stuck my nose in when the humans opened it). What looks tasty, I asked myself? Then I saw it just sitting there in a package....BACON!!!! What could be better than a package of bacon? Yeah, two packages of bacon would be better. I got out the bacon, and then I cooked it and just before I ate it, I hunted the human who was in this video called Ultimate Dog Tease, and I did the same thing to him that he did to that wonderful dog. Here is the link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
Yes, the bacon tasted even more delicious after I did that!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Bacon)

Hunting For Treats

Yesterday I decided to go hunting for my own food. I do this from time to time because the things I usually find around the house are far more delightful than the food the humans give me. Sure, yesterday I had ham, and it was delicious, but sometimes a dog gets a hankering for something sweet. When this happens, it is best for a dog to forage for his own treats. As usual, I found a delicious item that the humans would not have given me had I waited for them to give me a treat. It was a Boston Creme Roll from Little Debbie made by the McKee bakery. I got myself one of these delicious treats, and I smashed it with my paw so that it would open, and I ate the cake as it oozed out of the package. I know the humans would probably eat it without being so messy, but as a dog, I happen to enjoy a mess almost as much as I enjoyed the creme roll. For those dogs who haven't tried them, they are delicious. I have no idea why they are considered human treats instead of dog treats except that I think the humans try to hog the best treats for themselves. All dogs reading this remember, if you want a delicious treat, try what the humans eat. It is always delicious!

Demon Flash Bandit (Bostom Creme Rolls are Good!)

Dedicated Employees at Amazon.com

Occasionally we get things we have ordered from Amazon.com in the mail. I wonder how many of their customers bother to thank them for sending their orders so promptly. Most companies store their merchandise in warehouses that are usually located in cities. Amazon's warehouses are located in the Amazonian rain forest which is why the company is called Amazon. Those workers have to trudge through the jungle to get to work and mail the packages. That takes nerve to know that you could meet a cobra, a tiger, or a lion--not to mention a cute little poison dart frog on the way to work. Most employees do not have to go through such hazards just to get to work. Next time you get a package from Amazon.com, be sure and thank them for their perseverance. It takes dedicated employees to go through so much to get to work and then have Walmart declare war on them every few days. Amazon employees are a brave group!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Amazon.com)

Not All Peanuts are Edible

I have no idea which humans have been put in charge of naming things, but the one who named Styrofoam peanuts either had a very odd sense of humor or they were having a serious lack of touch with reality. Real peanuts are quite tasty and this dog likes to eat them, but Styrofoam peanuts aren't even edible. I'm not talking about the inedible stuff that is quite tasty, but the humans don't want a dog to eat--you know like a dead bird. Those Styrofoam things could make you sick if you eat them. Why the idiot who named them called them peanuts if beyond me. Maybe it was just way past their lunch time and they were really hungry, but I still think it is a stupid name.


For those of you who saw the movie, Bolt, he was a super dog who had his powers taken by Styrofoam peanuts--they were like Kryptonite for Superman. Bolt even had his paw bleed once he was exposed to them! If you haven't seen the movie, Bolt, you should. It was a great movie, and got this dog's 4 paws up and a happy tail wag.

The stupidest thing about the Styrofoam peanuts is that they are routinely used in packages, and I have yet to meet a human who likes them when they open a package since they tend to fall out and have to be picked up. If they used real peanuts, I would eat the ones that fall and there would be no problem, but those things taste awful. You would think they are made from Styrofoam, which might explain why they are called Styrofoam peanuts. I guess one part of the name is accurate and one part is totally and completely inaccurate. If I knew who was in charge of giving them such a stupid name, I would fire them from their naming job. Yes, you heard me, I would fire them. They are obviously being paid too much for what they do.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan Of Styrofoam Peanuts)