Tales of My Tail

Today I am going to discuss my tail, and in the process, I am going to discuss why all dogs have tails. I have heard many of the humans say that my tail is gorgeous, and I can't argue with them when they are so obviously right. It is furry, and it curls, and I know it is adorable. Because we dogs have such gorgeous tails, the humans tend to be jealous because they don't have tails. Why don't humans have tails? Obviously, they are an inferior species so they don't have tails. It is just that simple. This is why the humans suffer from what we dogs call "tail envy". Yes, the humans see our beautiful tails and wish they could have one too. This is the reason that they come up with reasons for us to have tails. I will share a link from a website that actually tells the humans why a dog has a tail. I have already told you the real reason we have a tail: we are a superior species to the humans so the website is silly! Here is the link I mentioned:
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_do_dogs_have_tails
I've got to go now. I've got to wag my tail for the humans--they love watching me!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Gorgeous Tail!)

Work--I Don't Like It!

My brother went to work today despite my sad puppy dogs looks which are supposed to melt the heart of any human and make said human do what his dog wants him to do. I will never understand the humans and their obsession with work. However, I have noticed that Mommy gives the drive thru humans money and I get burgers so I guess that is why they show up at work even though it isn't fun. I am glad I don't have to work. In fact, I am glad that we dogs don't have to work. I have decided that if I ever need money, instead of getting a job, I am going to post my photo on a website and let the humans send me money for being cute. Being cute may be hard work, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice if it means not having to get a job. I think the humans should use their brains to think of ways of making money without going to work. It would make their lives a lot easier and more fun!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Feels Human Should Stay Home With Me)

Litter-Robot for Cats

For those of you who have cats, you know that changing the litter box is no fun! This is why the humans have invented a product to make it easier. That product is the Litter-Robot. The Litter Robot is a self cleaning litter box. It is like having Rosie, the robot maid from The Jetsons cartoon, come to life and be the personal maid for the family cat or cats! For those of you who are interested in this product, I am giving you the website so that you can order it for yourself. The address is:
http://www.litter-robot.com/
This is such an exciting new product that I'm sure everyone will be anxious to try it as quickly as possible. I do have a suggestion for a cheaper and easier way to deal with the litter box though which is get rid of the cat, and get a dog! Personally, I don't mind cats, but every dog knows that a dog is better. With a dog, there is no litter box to worry about cleaning. Dogs are also a lot less picky and more friendly. Given a choice, a dog is always the best choice!

Why No Demon Flash Bandit Action Figure?

I have good news to announce today. After my previous blog about my bad experience with my favorite burger; Burger King, I am pleased to say that I tried a McDonalds burger yesterday. It was good. Up until now, I wouldn't even try McDonalds burgers, but if you get a dog annoyed enough, a dog will try new things. It is sad that Burger King did not appreciate my business (and I feel this was directly related to me being a dog), they do not deserve my future business so it is nice that I have other restaurants that appreciate me. Some McDonalds even give out dog biscuits to dogs who are in the car at drivethru.

I know I haven't written much about Weinergate largely because it is just too easy to have fun with that one. The whole story is like a big lottery win to people who make their living through comedy. However, today I saw a related story that I had to write about. Now you can buy a Weiner action figure. Yes, I'm not joking. For a mere $39.95, you can have your own Representative Weiner doll. For an extra $10.00, you can get the adult version complete with the anatomically correct item that caused Weinergate to make it onto the news. Personally, I would spend the extra $10. since, without that, Weinergate would not be Weinergate. It would not even be in the news. I would also suggest you not wait around to order since there was so much interest in the doll that it crashed the website. The only think I want to know is that why is there no Demon Flash Bandit action figure. I'm going to have to ask my humans about this since a world famous blogging dog such as myself should have an action figure made in my honor.

Demon Flash Bandit (Why No Demon Flash Bandit Action Figure?)