Center for Disease Control on Zombie Attacks

Today I am writing about a subject that has been in the news several times recently. That subject is zombie attacks. According to the Center for Disease Control, there is no virus or any other kind of thing that would cause humans to become zombies, but this dog is wondering if they are trying to cover up a major zombie attack. There are just so many stories of humans eating other humans. It isn't like food is in short supply where the attacks occur. There are supermarkets and restaurants which serve much better tasting foods. I can only hope that, if they are covering up zombie attacks, that dogs won't become some zombie's dinner. So far, the reports are only including humans, and I have not read one case of a zombie attacking a dog or of a dog becoming a zombie so this dog can rest easier knowing that those stupid zombies aren't after me. Here is the link to read about all the zombie attacks:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/01/cdc-denies-zombies-existence_n_1562141.html

For those of the human persuasion reading this, I would be extra careful for the next couple of weeks.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Zombies)

Doggy Restaurants

There are plenty of restaurants for the humans, and I'm okay with that since I happen to like the food the humans eat. However, why are there so few restaurants that welcome a dog? Sometimes a dog likes to be able to walk in and sit down to order food. Some of us like to have some elegant surroundings, and feel like we are a valued customer---not just someone to feed at drive-thru. This is something that has not been properly addressed by the humans because, with their limited brain power, they just don't see that it is a problem. I personally would enjoy walking into an elegant restaurant and have a human escort me to my seat. That is another thing about the humans--many of us enjoy eating at the table off of regular plates, not off the floor like an animal! Keep in mind, I'm not discussing "dog friendly" restaurants that allow dogs to eat with the humans. I'm talking about actual restaurants for dogs. Of course, since we are nicer than the humans, I don't think most of us would mind if the humans came along with us. Dogs like to bring their pet humans along!

Demon Flash Bandit (Wants to Go to a Doggy Restaurant)

Why No Demon Flash Bandit Action Figure?

I have good news to announce today. After my previous blog about my bad experience with my favorite burger; Burger King, I am pleased to say that I tried a McDonalds burger yesterday. It was good. Up until now, I wouldn't even try McDonalds burgers, but if you get a dog annoyed enough, a dog will try new things. It is sad that Burger King did not appreciate my business (and I feel this was directly related to me being a dog), they do not deserve my future business so it is nice that I have other restaurants that appreciate me. Some McDonalds even give out dog biscuits to dogs who are in the car at drivethru.

I know I haven't written much about Weinergate largely because it is just too easy to have fun with that one. The whole story is like a big lottery win to people who make their living through comedy. However, today I saw a related story that I had to write about. Now you can buy a Weiner action figure. Yes, I'm not joking. For a mere $39.95, you can have your own Representative Weiner doll. For an extra $10.00, you can get the adult version complete with the anatomically correct item that caused Weinergate to make it onto the news. Personally, I would spend the extra $10. since, without that, Weinergate would not be Weinergate. It would not even be in the news. I would also suggest you not wait around to order since there was so much interest in the doll that it crashed the website. The only think I want to know is that why is there no Demon Flash Bandit action figure. I'm going to have to ask my humans about this since a world famous blogging dog such as myself should have an action figure made in my honor.

Demon Flash Bandit (Why No Demon Flash Bandit Action Figure?)

Doggy Bags are a Good Thing

When humans are involved in anything, I expect stupidity--all us dogs do. Many times we find it amusing. However, when I saw an article on WalletPop today that says the "food police" bust chain restaurants for serving too much food, then a dog realizes that some of the humans are not only stupid, but probably insane as well. Yes, many of the humans are too fat. Yes, many of them don't get enough exercise. Yes, some of them have lousy metabolisms, but what agency felt the need to hire the "food police"? No one is forcing the humans to eat at these restaurants, and there are humans who can't eat the whole thing so they take it home and eat the rest of it another day. There are also plenty of humans who ask for a doggy bag and they bring the extra food home to share with us dogs. We dogs love it when the humans bring home food for us, and we don't need some silly food police humans messing up a perfect system. In fact, we dogs know that bringing home food for the dog is called VALUE. A restaurant that charges a small fortune to give you 4 peas and 2 cucumber slices may insure you stay slim, but why pay them so that you can starve? No one is forcing any of the humans to eat at any of the restaurants, and do you really think that if a human likes to eat, they won't eat oversize portions at home? This is why I want to know who is wasting money hiring these food police. When they bust a restaurant, do they actually arrest the owner or do they just yap about how horrible it is that they serve so much food to the other humans on the Internet? This defeats the whole purpose since the humans who like to eat will then remember that restaurant chain so that they can eat there the next time they go out. I think the humans have a real problem with trying to control everyone else. Meanwhile some of the slimmer humans pitching the hissy fits about the overweight humans are doing other unhealthy things themselves. I think the humans can learn many lessons from us dogs. One of them is that as long as a dog has delicious food to eat, he doesn't really care if the neighbor's dog is eating too much or not. He is busy minding his own business, which is something that would benefit the humans greatly. Too many of them are so busy trying to run everyone else's business that they seem to forget that they have problems too. I have a message for you food police humans, dogs have formed a group that is going to go after your hides. Leave the portions alone and get yourself a dog so that you can bring a doggy bag home to him or her. Hang up your badge.....the dogs are taking over.

Demon Flash Bandit (Don't Mess With My Doggy Bag)