Talkeetna Alaska Needs Dog Mayor--Not Stubbs the Cat

There is a town in Alaska that has a cat as the mayor. Talkeetna, which I think was the town in the movie Snow Dogs, has a cat named Stubbs as the mayor. Normally I would not mind a cat being the town's mayor except that this town is in Alaska, and as such, should have a dog as a mayor--preferably a Siberian Husky or an Alaskan Malamute. It is an insult to us sled dogs that a town that can use sled dogs has a cat running it. I have nothing against cats, but dogs do not like to be told what to do by a cat. It just is not natural for a cat to tell a dog what to do. If a cat wants to be the mayor of some town in California, I can see that, but you also don't see dogs pulling sleds in Los Angeles--at least not over snow and tundra. I think the people of Talkeetna need to have a recall and make sure a dog is put in as mayor. I would volunteer for the postition myself, but I am already running for President. Besides, I can't imagine my humans ever moving with me to Alaska. My Mommy complains about winter here in Michigan.

Demon Flash Bandit (Alaska Town Needs Dog Mayor)

Diamond Jubilee and Willis Sausage

I was just reading about the Diamond Jubilee that Queen Elizabeth II is celebrating in Great Britain. I know the humans are fond of diamonds, but to have events during the entire year dedicated to a gemstone is something that only the humans could do. Don't get me wrong--I know the humans like shiny things. However, if I were going to celebrate something, I would celebrate meat-particularly bacon! You can't eat a diamond. Okay, some people and dogs have, but diamonds don't taste good and they have no nutritional value. They can even make you sick if they get lodged somewhere.

My humans have been going to nearby Frankenmuth, Michigan for decades, and there is a place there that is a dog's dream come true. It is Willis Sausages, and they sell a lot of different meats. They have a website, and you can order on-line. I am going to share the site for those who might be interested in something different. They even have a potato sausage that they make themselves. I think that has to be very convenient for the humans--meat and potatoes are already together so that you only have to make one thing instead of two. Here is the address:
http://www.willissausages.com/

If you are able to visit there in person, you won't be disappointed. My humans always stop in there when they go to Frankenmuth. Sadly, dogs are not allowed!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Willis Sausage)

No Snow For My Area---Birds Are Evil!!!!

Today I am one very annoyed dog. I just found out that the weather service has predicted snow for the northeastern United States. Since I am a Siberian Husky, I happen to love cold weather and snow. Our weather here in lower Michigan is cool, but there are no predictions of snow. I know that birds have to be behind this indignity to a dog. Those birds are snow thieves, and for those of you who have not read my theories in the past, I will explain why. Warmer climates that get no snow, and have little cold weather have lots of birds. Coincidence? Of course not. It is a massive conspiracy among the evil feathered birds to take over the world! For those of you who live in colder climates, do you ever notice how the birds are always singing in the spring? If you spoke bird, you would know that they are singing about how happy they are that they have come to steal the snow. I happen to know this because I am bi-lingual-species so I speak fluent bird. I hear their evil plans and their horrible songs. I only wish the humans could understand just how big a threat they are. However, humans, as usual, go on with their lives not having a clue that they are being surrounded by evil, snow stealing birds unless they read my blog! I'm sure that the lack of snow in lower Michigan is due to the birds' personal hatred for me. They want to keep me from having some lovely blizzard type weather. This is why I hate birds and don't think they deserve to live. That is this dog's opinion, and as such, is not open to question.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hater)

Common Sense?

As a dog who lives in Michigan, I am appalled to report that the Republican party in the state of Michigan wants to put teachers in jail if they use a computer at the school to send an email that has anything to do with their union. Of course, teachers using a school computer to update their Facebook account or play games is okay so it isn't that they are concerned about wasting "company time". I'm not quite sure why the Republican party is so scared of the unions. Unions are supposed to be about fair wages and safe working conditions. I suppose most of the Republicans would rather have slaves teaching the children. That would be an advantage for them since slaves could teach the students to be good slaves for future business owners. You don't have to agree with a dog about this issue, but there is one thing that bothers me, and that is just a common sense fact. Considering that Michigan has considered releasing prisoners early due to overcrowding, it doesn't make any sense to put teachers in jail and possibly end up costing the state a lot of extra money not to mention the possibility of having to let murderers and rapists go free. If this is the kind of "common sense" coming from the Republican party, then they have none.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sticking up for Teachers)

Dreaded Library Gang

There are pink bows around the streetlights in my town, Howell, Michigan. I'm not sure why they are there so I assume that they are for some super secret reason. Luckily, I am a smart dog who has given the matter a lot of thought (at least 5 minutes), and I have come up with an answer. Ever since my humans moved here is 1995, they have observed the presence of the "library gang". This is a gang of teens and pre-teens who hang out at the library after school until their parents get off from work. As you can imagine, any group of youngsters who are hanging out reading books and doing research make a formidable gang. Townspeople approach the library at their own risk because of their fear of this marauding group of book-readers. In inner cities, gangs mark their "territories" with gang related graffiti. It is only natural that the "library gang" would choose to mark their "territory" with pink bows. I can only imagine what evil the library gang is going to set loose on the town. I hope the town survives. My human brother Jeff says maybe the pink ribbon bows have something to do with breast cancer. Only a human could be so silly. Pink bows are festive and happy, and cancer is not something to be happy about having. It would make no sense for the bows to have any connection to cancer. I bet that is just what the library gang is hoping the humans will think. Thank goodness for us dogs who have the ability to think things through intelligently.

Demon Flash Bandit (Explaining Town's Bows)