Movie Review: Ted

Today I am going to write a movie review of the new movie just recently released, Ted. This movie, done by Seth McFarlane who is also known for the television show, Family Guy, is a movie that made this dog laugh and laugh. For those who are offended by bad lauguage or slightly raunchy humor, do not attend this movie, but for everyone else, the movie is very funny. The movie is about a man who, as a boy, got a teddy bear for Christmas, and thanks to a magical Christmas wish, the bear came to life. He and the bear grew up together, and are very close friends. This relationship becomes complicated when the human grows up to get a girlfriend. The girlfriend is surprisingly okay with the bear at first, but later on, she give him the ultimatum: the bear or me. This movie is all about choices and bears and plush toys, and I personally enjoyed it very much! I give this movie 4 paws up, a tail wag, kisses, some dingo bones, and milkbones. It is a 10 out of 10 on the human movie scale. I hope that, if you have a teddy bear that is alive at your house, that he will be as entertaining as Ted was in this movie!

Demon Flash Bandiit (Movie Review: Ted)

Demon Flash Bandit at the Michigan ComicCon!

I am a lucky dog. I went to the Michigan ComicCon yesterday. I didn't want to be mobbed by my adoring fans so, since many of the humans dress in costume, I dressed as Superdog; and I was able to enjoy the show just like a regular dog. They had no idea that the famous blogger, Demon Flash Bandit, was among them. William Shatner has done the same thing so I am in good company. I got a couple of pawtographs, and I looked around. The toys they sold there were a bit of a disappointment. With the exception of a few items like a Brian the Dog figure (from the television show, Family Guy), most of the toys weren't interesting. When I look for toys, I'm looking for squeaky toys or balls. I don't want to play with miniature "human" figures. Humans are boring and do boring things so why would I want to play with human figures? What can I do with a human action figure? Let it go to work to make money.....it seems like that is all most of them do with their lives. Since work does not seem to be fun, I have no idea why the humans spend so much time doing it, but I can only assume it is because they aren't dogs. If they were dogs, they would be smart enough to sit at home and nap instead of working.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Attended MI ComicCon)

Royal Couple Can't Dress Themselves?

Once again, I have received a letter from my pal, the Queen of England. As usual, she is writing to me because she knows I understand her problems with her family. I have decided to share the letter so we can all see how tough life is for the Queen.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
Now that the royal wedding is over, I was hoping to settle down and have the chance to relax. I hoped that my grandson and his new wife would settle in happily at their new home. However, you can imagine my embarrassment to find that they are now planning to hire a housekeeper and a dresser. I realize that a housekeeper might be necessary, but can you imagine how hard it is for a mother to admit that her descendants don't have enough sense to dress themselves? I can only imagine what the neighbors are saying......"I see the kids can't dress themselves.....we knew those kids were idiots from the time they were toddlers". I am hoping that the kids will learn how to dress themselves so that I can hold my head up high once again. Thanks for your encouragement, Demon Flash Bandit. I don't know what I would do without the wise counsel of an intelligent dog such as yourself.

Love, The Queen Lady

As you can see, being the Queen is not easy. There is another person in the news who is having a rough time with the media at the moment. That man is Congressman Weiner, and he is involved in something called Weinergate. I thought it might be an interesting story involving hot dogs, which are quite tasty, but it turns out it is stupid.....like most human news. That is why I haven't bothered to write much about it. I would rather concentrate on important stories. For example, there was an ad for Bit o Luv treats, which I happen to love. When my humans went to the store, the treats never arrived. This should be front page news. When a dog's favorite treats aren't available, something needs to be done. However, the media is so busy discussing Weinergate, the story of the lack of Bit o Luvs did not get covered. This is what happens when humans are allowed to run things. They have no ability to priotitize!

I hope all my readers stay cool. It has been too hot here.

Demon Flash Bandit (Royal Couple Can't Dress Themselves)

Dead Bird is the Word

From what this dog has observed of human behavior, they tend to watch a lot of television. This is okay with me because I can always nap while they watch, and often I sit next to Mommy and get tummy rubs or have her pet my butt while she watches. This is why I think television was a wonderful invention. It gives the humans more time to spend with their dogs. However, occasionally, this dog finds some programs offensive and last night was one of those times. Mommy was watching an episode of Family Guy, which is a reality show in which the dog is the only one on there with any intelligence. That is what puts it in the reality show genre--all us dogs know that we have the brains and the humans don't. As I said, normally, this is a show I approve of wholeheartedly, but that was before the episode came on when Peter Griffin got the record of his favorite song, Surfin' Bird by The Trashmen. The song keeps repeating, The bird is the word. If I want a sentence with a bird in it, that sentence will say, "Thankfully, the bird is dead". Very much like that dead turkey I ate a couple of days ago, I have no problems with dead birds, but the song is about live birds. I don't know why The Trashmen bothered to record that song. They work with garbage and could have written far more interesting songs with that kind of inspiration. Just off the top of my head, several song titles come to mind. Imagine if they had written, "Rotting banana peels smell like my heart which is rotting since you turned me down". Perhaps a happier song like, I Found This Ring in the Garbage for You". Even a mediocre song titled, "I Am Searching Through the Garbage for You". The Trashmen didn't record too many songs because they went on to star in a movie, Men at Work, which was made in 1990. They played the parts of garbage men very convincingly. Critics have referred to them as the Trashy versions of Capt. Jack Sparrow. At the annual Trashmen Awards, they always win the coveted Glade Award which they use to make their garbage truck smell better all year. Anyway, the "bird" song is very annoying and Family Guy's episode kept playing it over and over. If they had the good sense to record, "The Bird is Dead.....om pah the bird is dead. Everyone knows the bird is dead", it would have been a big hit instead of an annoying song played on Family Guy. Remember, when it comes to birds, the only good bird is a dead bird.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dead Bird is the Word)