Big Bird: Not to be Trusted

There is an outlet mall near my house, and there are some of those mechanical rides that entertain children at various spots in the mall. As a whole, I have nothing against these rides except for the one in which the child "rides" with Big Bird. As a dog who does not trust birds, this ride worries me because I think it was placed there by birds to try to win the trust of the humans while they are small, and then they will be in the position to take over the planet once the children grow up. Those humans won't think the birds are evil because they will remember riding with Big Bird--who is actually an evil bird. How can I prove Big Bird is evil? He is a bird, is he not? If that isn't enough proof, I don't know what is. I haven't seen such an obvious trick to poison the minds of young people since Jerry Falwell exposed the purple Teletubby as being gay. How many young minds were corrupted by that horrible Teletubby? Yet, the teletubby is not nearly as bad as Big Bird, who is helping his species take over the planet. It takes a dog to see that Big Bird ride for what it really is: corruption of this country's toddlers. As a show of solidarity with dogs everywhere, I plan to eat chicken for dinner. That will teach those birds!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of Big Bird-or Any Bird)

Fran Drescher: Spacenapped!

Actress Fran Drescher, star of The Nanny, says she was kidnapped by space aliens when she was young. I'm sure that many of the humans don't believe her, but this dog has no problem believing that she was spacenapped. I'm not sure which group spacenapped her, but at least she was allowed to return. One never knows what will happen when dealing with space aliens. This is why I think that space aliens should be required to fill in their citizenship status in whatever country they reside. The last thing the humans need is illegal space aliens infiltrating our neighborhoods. They are as bad as the zombie loans that the banks have given out--like anyone wants to live next door to a zombie. We should all write our representatives and tell them that we want space aliens to have to register their citizenship status so we will know they are here, and what planet they are from.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Spacenapping)

Best Sports Event of the Year: The Puppy Bowl!

For those of you who aren't planning to watch the Superbowl, I have a perfect event for you to watch. In fact, if I were planning to watch the Superbowl, which I'm not, I would skip the Superbowl in order to watch this event. The event is going to be broadcast on Animal Planet February 6, 2011 at 3:00 pm Eastern Standard time and 4:00 pm Central Standard time. That event is Puppy Bowl VII. Puppies play in a model stadium on a football field. I can tell you that the puppies are far more entertaining that those silly humans who play for the Superbowl. For those who enjoy watching the cheerleaders, the cheerleaders at the Puppy Bowl are bunnies. Kittens do a half time show. No puppy over the age of 4 months is allowed to play. Last year's Puppy Bowl included a blimp piloted by hamsters. Millions will be watching this event, and I know you wouldn't want to miss it. For those who missed past Puppy Bowls, you can get them on dvd at this website, http://store.discovery.com/?v=animal-planet_shows_puppy-bowl&ecid=PRF-TV1-400034&pa=PRF-TV1-400034

These dvds can be watched repeatedly by those with good taste in entertainment. For those of you who decide to watch the human Superbowl, I feel sorry for you. The puppies are so much cuter!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves the Puppy Bowl)