You Might Be a Chicken.....

Many of my readers are probably familiar with the comedy of Jeff Foxworthy, who has done the world a service by letting them know how to identify rednecks. Today, I plan to offer a similar service by helping everyone identify chickens.

YOU MIGHT BE A CHICKEN:

1. If you have feathers and are being eaten by a dog, you might be a chicken.

2. If your brain is smaller than a peanut, you might be a chicken.

3. If you pee on your feathers, you might be a chicken.

4. If you get stuffing put up your butt, you might be a chicken.

5. If you have wings and can't fly, you might be a chicken.

6. If you run around after your head has been cut off, you might be a chicken.

7. If you lay eggs, you might be a chicken.

8. If you wear a disguise to look like human guys (Animaniacs), you might be a chicken.

9. If you wake people at dawn, you might be a chicken.

10. If you look around in paranoid fashion, you might be a chicken.

11. If you are contacted by the Easter Bunny in Spring for a huge egg order, you might be a chicken.

12. If you are in Angel Zoom Smokey's tummy , you might be a chicken.

13. If you shake your tail feathers, you might be a chicken.

14. If you hate Colonel Sanders, you might be a chicken.

15. If you do a stupid dance at a wedding, you might be a chicken.

16. If you allow Mel Gibson to voice a relative (movie, Chicken Run), you might be a chicken.

17. If you peck people on the neck, you might be a chicken vampire.

18. If you color your eggs, you might be a flamboyant chicken.

19. If you are scared by the initials, KFC, you might be a chicken.

20. If you avoid military service, you might be a chicken.

21. If the phrase, original recipe upsets you, you might be a chicken.

22. If Mr. Bean has ever gotten his head stuck in your butt, you might be a chicken (or turkey).

23. If you taste good with almonds, you might be a chicken.

24. If you can't tell if your baby is a boy or girl, you might be a chicken.

25. If you won't live in the state of Kentucky, you might be a chicken.

26. If Angel Zoom Smokey is following you around, you might be a chicken.

I hope this list helps you identify chickens when you meet them. They are good eating.

I might share some of my chicken jokes with you in a future blog, but I will end this blog with one chicken joke. Foghorn Leghorn. No, he may be a cartoon chicken, but he is not the joke. The joke is: What do you call a chicken who wakes a dog in the morning? Breakfast!!!!

I hope everyone has a good day!

Demon Flash Bandit (Helping Dogs to Identify Chickens)