I have a brilliant new plan for getting to drive the car. I know I have mentioned in the past the unfairness of the humans' rule about not allowing dogs to get driver's licenses. I think most dogs would make excellent drivers with the possible exception of small dogs like chihuahuas who aren't big enough to see over the steering wheel. Of course, I can see the humans making small dog accessible cars for them once most dogs start driving. But I digress, the topic of today's blog is my brilliant plan to prove once and for all to the humans that dogs would be great drivers. My plan it to have a bumper sticker made that says "how is my driving?" and put the phone number of the local police department on the bumper sticker. Then I will sneak the car keys from Mommy's purse when she isn't paying attention. When I am out on the road, people will see the bumper sticker and start calling law enforcement to tell them what a good driver I happen to be. Once the police realize how good us dogs can drive, there will be no reason to ban us from getting a driver's license. This plan won't work for cats. Toonses the cat from Saturday Night Live has ruined their reputation for driving. Personally, I think cats are too careless since they know they have so many lives.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants a Driver's License)