Thursday, August 26, 2010

Evolution: I Asked the Dinosaurs

Some scientists have announced an alternative "theory of evolution" that challenges Darwin's survival of the fittest theory with a new one about "survival based on favorable living spaces". To test this new alternative, I got into my time machine, and I went back in time to interview animals from the past because I believe in getting my information straight from the "horse's mouth", or as in this case, direct from the dinosaur's mouth.

Demon Flash Bandit: Mr. T Rex, I see you are the king of the forest, to what do you attribute your ability to be the Number 1 Dino in the land?

T Rex: Mr. Bandit, I am the king of the forest because I eat every animal that gets in my way, and I am big and powerful with giant teeth.

Demon Flash Bandit: Do you think that living in a more favorable environment would help you do better?

T Rex: Sure it would. The better the environment, the better an animal survives. In fact, I hate to admit this, but had my mother not won the annual animal lottery---yes, she won 5 million animals to eat, I could have starved as a baby dinosaur. This shows that luck is also important to survival. I don't care how smart you are or how big your teeth happen to be, being in the wrong place at the wrong time can be detrimental to your health.

Now you have the answer--many things contribute to survival, and even luck plays a part in it. Thanks Mr. T Rex for sharing your insights about survival with a dog from the future. What was that? How are your descendants doing in the future. Mr. T Rex, I have to go now. It sure has been nice chatting with you and you have a nice day.

Demon Flash Bandit (Solving Evolutionary Theory Once and For All)

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