Today is 11-11-11. The reason this date is so important to so many people is that it adds up to 33 or possibly -11 if you are one of those pessimistic type people reading my blog. There are more weddings taking place today because of the date, and the Great Pyramid is shut down. Sure, the Egyptian people might say it is for maintenance, but we know better. Some people think that the power from the pyramid is greater on 11-11-11 so they were planning on visiting and charging their cell phones. How often can you charge a cell phone free of charge--isn't that a great play on words? Shakespeare never wrote with such wisdom. Anyway, I have decided to take advantage of the possible lucky aspects of the day. A dog can use some good luck so just in case, I have some special plans for the day. I plan to take my dingo bone and put it under a piece of paper shaped like a pyramid. I'm hoping it will last longer because dingo bones never last long enough for me. They are so delicious that I can eat them for hours. I hope it turns out to be a lucky day for my readers, and also that my readers have a nice weekend!
Demon Flash Bandit (Lucky Date)
Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weddings. Show all posts
Friday, November 11, 2011
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Engagement and Murder
Target, a heroic dog who saved the lives of soldiers in Afghanistan and was brought back to the United States to live with Sgt. Terry Young in Arizona was "accidentally euthanized" by an employee at the Pinal County Animal Care and Control Shelter. The director of Animal Control there, Ruth Stalter, said Target was not supposed to be euthanized, and that the employee, who has been put on administrative leave, did not follow proper procedures. I'm not against second chances, but I think this employee should lose that job. There are other jobs out there that do not involve an animal dying if they do the job improperly. I am very sorry that Target, who had been shot in the leg and ran over in Afghanistan, and finally had a good home, was killed by such a thoughtless, human.
I like to write about happy news, and today I see that my pal, the Queen Lady, has tweeted congratulations on the engagement of her grandson, William, to a young lady named Kate Middleton. This dog wishes them well, but I guess I am going to have to let the Queen Lady know that "tweeting" is not acceptable. Birds are evil, and it is very important that the world leaders not be taken in by the little feathered varmints. I assume that with the royal wedding in the works that the Queen Lady won't be able to mow my yard again this year. I'm sure she will be crushed, but it is important to put family obligations first. I hope the new addition to the royal family will be as easy to deal with as my new stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman. I've discovered that stuffed dogs are much more docile than real dogs.
It is time for me to mush into the other room and take a nap.
Demon Flash Bandit (Murder and Marriage)
I like to write about happy news, and today I see that my pal, the Queen Lady, has tweeted congratulations on the engagement of her grandson, William, to a young lady named Kate Middleton. This dog wishes them well, but I guess I am going to have to let the Queen Lady know that "tweeting" is not acceptable. Birds are evil, and it is very important that the world leaders not be taken in by the little feathered varmints. I assume that with the royal wedding in the works that the Queen Lady won't be able to mow my yard again this year. I'm sure she will be crushed, but it is important to put family obligations first. I hope the new addition to the royal family will be as easy to deal with as my new stunt dog, Phantom Fast Snowman. I've discovered that stuffed dogs are much more docile than real dogs.
It is time for me to mush into the other room and take a nap.
Demon Flash Bandit (Murder and Marriage)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
You Might Be a Chicken.....
Many of my readers are probably familiar with the comedy of Jeff Foxworthy, who has done the world a service by letting them know how to identify rednecks. Today, I plan to offer a similar service by helping everyone identify chickens.
YOU MIGHT BE A CHICKEN:
1. If you have feathers and are being eaten by a dog, you might be a chicken.
2. If your brain is smaller than a peanut, you might be a chicken.
3. If you pee on your feathers, you might be a chicken.
4. If you get stuffing put up your butt, you might be a chicken.
5. If you have wings and can't fly, you might be a chicken.
6. If you run around after your head has been cut off, you might be a chicken.
7. If you lay eggs, you might be a chicken.
8. If you wear a disguise to look like human guys (Animaniacs), you might be a chicken.
9. If you wake people at dawn, you might be a chicken.
10. If you look around in paranoid fashion, you might be a chicken.
11. If you are contacted by the Easter Bunny in Spring for a huge egg order, you might be a chicken.
12. If you are in Angel Zoom Smokey's tummy , you might be a chicken.
13. If you shake your tail feathers, you might be a chicken.
14. If you hate Colonel Sanders, you might be a chicken.
15. If you do a stupid dance at a wedding, you might be a chicken.
16. If you allow Mel Gibson to voice a relative (movie, Chicken Run), you might be a chicken.
17. If you peck people on the neck, you might be a chicken vampire.
18. If you color your eggs, you might be a flamboyant chicken.
19. If you are scared by the initials, KFC, you might be a chicken.
20. If you avoid military service, you might be a chicken.
21. If the phrase, original recipe upsets you, you might be a chicken.
22. If Mr. Bean has ever gotten his head stuck in your butt, you might be a chicken (or turkey).
23. If you taste good with almonds, you might be a chicken.
24. If you can't tell if your baby is a boy or girl, you might be a chicken.
25. If you won't live in the state of Kentucky, you might be a chicken.
26. If Angel Zoom Smokey is following you around, you might be a chicken.
I hope this list helps you identify chickens when you meet them. They are good eating.
I might share some of my chicken jokes with you in a future blog, but I will end this blog with one chicken joke. Foghorn Leghorn. No, he may be a cartoon chicken, but he is not the joke. The joke is: What do you call a chicken who wakes a dog in the morning? Breakfast!!!!
I hope everyone has a good day!
Demon Flash Bandit (Helping Dogs to Identify Chickens)
YOU MIGHT BE A CHICKEN:
1. If you have feathers and are being eaten by a dog, you might be a chicken.
2. If your brain is smaller than a peanut, you might be a chicken.
3. If you pee on your feathers, you might be a chicken.
4. If you get stuffing put up your butt, you might be a chicken.
5. If you have wings and can't fly, you might be a chicken.
6. If you run around after your head has been cut off, you might be a chicken.
7. If you lay eggs, you might be a chicken.
8. If you wear a disguise to look like human guys (Animaniacs), you might be a chicken.
9. If you wake people at dawn, you might be a chicken.
10. If you look around in paranoid fashion, you might be a chicken.
11. If you are contacted by the Easter Bunny in Spring for a huge egg order, you might be a chicken.
12. If you are in Angel Zoom Smokey's tummy , you might be a chicken.
13. If you shake your tail feathers, you might be a chicken.
14. If you hate Colonel Sanders, you might be a chicken.
15. If you do a stupid dance at a wedding, you might be a chicken.
16. If you allow Mel Gibson to voice a relative (movie, Chicken Run), you might be a chicken.
17. If you peck people on the neck, you might be a chicken vampire.
18. If you color your eggs, you might be a flamboyant chicken.
19. If you are scared by the initials, KFC, you might be a chicken.
20. If you avoid military service, you might be a chicken.
21. If the phrase, original recipe upsets you, you might be a chicken.
22. If Mr. Bean has ever gotten his head stuck in your butt, you might be a chicken (or turkey).
23. If you taste good with almonds, you might be a chicken.
24. If you can't tell if your baby is a boy or girl, you might be a chicken.
25. If you won't live in the state of Kentucky, you might be a chicken.
26. If Angel Zoom Smokey is following you around, you might be a chicken.
I hope this list helps you identify chickens when you meet them. They are good eating.
I might share some of my chicken jokes with you in a future blog, but I will end this blog with one chicken joke. Foghorn Leghorn. No, he may be a cartoon chicken, but he is not the joke. The joke is: What do you call a chicken who wakes a dog in the morning? Breakfast!!!!
I hope everyone has a good day!
Demon Flash Bandit (Helping Dogs to Identify Chickens)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Howling Huskies--Dog Band That Rocks
As a talented dog and also a member of the rock group, the Howling Huskies, I want to let other musical dogs know that there are guitars that are smaller than the usual size--perfect for children and more importantly, DOGS. To think that for years, a dog couldn't get the proper size guitar so the only dog musicians were the big ones like the Great Danes. Great Danes are wonderful musicians, but most other dogs just aren't big enough to play a regular size adult guitar. I happened to find a website that sells small guitars and I want to share it with my readers. The web address is:
http://www.smallguitars.com/
My personal favorite is the strat style because it looks like my human brother's guitar. Before I got into the Howling Huskies, I was just a regular dog who napped, played with toys, and took the occasional walk. However, I always have loved music, and I would sing along when I heard music. Then Angel Zoom Smokey, another Siberian Husky came to live here, and we decided to from our own rock band. We play for various dog events in the area--weddings, dances, obedience proms, etc. There is nothing like the joy of looking out into the crowd and seeing so many happy faces enjoying our music. I would encourage all dogs to pursue their dreams. For one dog, it might be buying that guitar you have always wanted; and for another dog, it might be taking that human food off the table. Whatever your dreams, Demon Flash Bandit hopes you are happy.
Demon Flash Bandit (Member of the Howling Huskies)
http://www.smallguitars.com/
My personal favorite is the strat style because it looks like my human brother's guitar. Before I got into the Howling Huskies, I was just a regular dog who napped, played with toys, and took the occasional walk. However, I always have loved music, and I would sing along when I heard music. Then Angel Zoom Smokey, another Siberian Husky came to live here, and we decided to from our own rock band. We play for various dog events in the area--weddings, dances, obedience proms, etc. There is nothing like the joy of looking out into the crowd and seeing so many happy faces enjoying our music. I would encourage all dogs to pursue their dreams. For one dog, it might be buying that guitar you have always wanted; and for another dog, it might be taking that human food off the table. Whatever your dreams, Demon Flash Bandit hopes you are happy.
Demon Flash Bandit (Member of the Howling Huskies)
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